S200730CN New (kinda) Member, looking for feedback.

[timwedits]

Hi all,
Been writing for a long time, was a Taxi member about a decade ago, just rejoined. Currently getting quarterly royalty checks for a small handful of songs, but I want them to get bigger.

Most of my work so far was recorded and mixed by someone else, this time around I'm working towards recording and mixing everything myself at home. I know I've got a long way to go, but would love any constructive criticism you'd like to share on the following track that I wrote for listing S200730CN

Link to Y'all Right on SoundCloud:
https://soundcloud.com/twilsbach/200802-yallright

The listing and lyrics are below, I missed the deadline for submitting, but am just curious what the hive mind thinks--In your opinion would this have hit the mark?

Also, would love any tips on how to improve the mix.

MODERN COUNTRY SONGS with Male Vocals are needed by a great Music Row Publisher for a signed, up-and-coming act who’s working on his next record!

They’re looking for Mid-to-Up-Tempo Songs that could be found on a playlist with artists like (but not limited to): Clayton Anderson, Tim Dugger, Clay Walker, etc.

Please listen to the following references to get an idea of what could work well for this request:

"Struggle Bus" by Clayton Anderson

“Cold Beer Night” by Tim Dugger

"Rock the Radio" By Clay Walker

Please submit contemporary, well-crafted Country Songs that could make an impact on the Country charts! Your Songs should have solid structure with great melodies, memorable choruses, and visually descriptive, conversational lyrical approaches. Vocal performances with plenty of confidence, personality, and Country authenticity could help get this artist and the music publisher excited about cutting your Songs.

Stripped-Down Demos and full productions are both okay to submit, as long as your Songs are great and your recordings are clean, clear, and well-balanced. Your demo quality should be competitive with Songs being pitched on the Row.

Y'All Right
PASSING ME PICTURES OF FARAWAY PLACES
OTHER PEOPLE PINING FOR THEIR GREAT ESCAPE IS
MY CUE TO PULL MY HAT DOWN
AND KEEP GRINDING THE HOURS TIL QUITTIN’ TIME

YOU KEEP TALK TALK TALKING OF SAILING CROSS THE OCEAN
FOR THE CITY OF LIGHT OR TO SEE THE SEVEN WONDERS
WELL HOOO-BOY THAT ALL SOUNDS NICE
BUT THOSE AREN’T MY TERMS TO LIVE THE GOOD LIFE

DON’T NEED TO BE IN TIJUANA TO HAVE A MARGARITA
BUT I’M SURE I’LL GET THERE SOMEDAY

GIVE ME A SIX PACK, SIX STRING
SIX O’CLOCK ON FRIDAY NIGHT
PRETTY GIRL NEXT TO ME
EVERYTHING IS Y’ALL RIGHT IN OUR LITTLE TOWN
WE DON’T HAVE TO GO ANYWHERE
ALL I NEED’S A TAILGATE, SUMMER NIGHT
COUNTRY SIDE, SUNSET
BONFIRE, LAWNCHAIR
EVERYTHING S Y’ALL RIGHT WITH THE WORLD
WE DON’T HAVE TO GO ANYWHERE
GIVE ME A SIX PACK, SIX STRING, SIX O’CLOCK ON FRIDAY NIGHT
Y’ALL RIGHT?

WHAT’S WRONG WITH THE RADIO? WHY WE GOTTA
RENT SONGS FROM THE TELEPHONE?
I’M HAPPY STUCK IN THE OLD SCHOOL,
I STILL GOT STACKS FULL OF RECORDS
FROM BEFORE IT WAS COOL

LIKE SKYNYRD SAID I’M A SIMPLE MAN
I GOT A GREAT BIG WORLD IN THIS SMALL TOWN LAND
AND I DIG IT LIKE A GOLD MINE
THE LIVING IS EASY AND I CAN TAKE MY TIME

DON’T NEED TO BE IN LONDON ENGLAND TO SEE SOME ROYALTY
ROUND HERE WE GOT THE QUEEN OF THE FAIR

GIVE ME A SIX PACK, SIX STRING
SIX O’CLOCK ON FRIDAY NIGHT
PRETTY GIRL NEXT TO ME
EVERYTHING IS Y’ALL RIGHT IN OUR LITTLE TOWN
WE DON’T HAVE TO GO ANYWHERE
ALL I NEED’S A TAILGATE, SUMMER NIGHT
COUNTRY SIDE, SUNSET
BONFIRE, LAWNCHAIR
EVERYTHING S Y’ALL RIGHT WITH THE WORLD
WE DON’T HAVE TO GO ANYWHERE
GIVE ME A SIX PACK, SIX STRING, SIX O’CLOCK ON FRIDAY NIGHT
Y’ALL RIGHT?
YEAH, Y’ALL RIGHT, YEAH Y’ALL RIGHT

[Zaychi]

Link doesn't work...

[timwedits]

Thanks....let’s try this one.
https://soundcloud.com/twilsbach/200802-yallright

edit:updated link

[cassmcentee]

Hey Tim!
You have a killer Americana voice!
The first few seconds of this tune are too sloppy (non-groove)
Don't start out with something that will turn the screener off!
The mix won't cut it either as it is Mono with everything on top of each other
Start listening to the mixes of referenced songs (in the listings) and try to get there
For example your tune Carolina has much better separation.

You could rock Taxi by collaborating with musicians who need a great Americana voice.
If I ever do, I'll hit you up.
Cheers,
Cass

[timwedits]

Hey Cass,
Thanks for the input.

There's good separation on Wake Up Caroline because someone else mixed it

I realized after you mentioned that though that I screwed up and exported in Mono. I re-exported and re-uploaded. Like I said, I'm still early on in the process of learning how to properly mix. I know I've got a long way to go.

[tresero]

Hey Tim!
You have a killer Americana voice!
The first few seconds of this tune are too sloppy (non-groove)
Don't start out with something that will turn the screener off!
The mix won't cut it either as it is Mono with everything on top of each other
Start listening to the mixes of referenced songs (in the listings) and try to get there
For example your tune Carolina has much better separation.

You could rock Taxi by collaborating with musicians who need a great Americana voice.
If I ever do, I'll hit you up.
Cheers,
Cass

I agree, there is something wrong with the drum grove in the first part. That said, all my country (that isn't from another country is old school and I have no clue on the modern stuff.