Help deciphering vague feedback - TROP POP

[WhiteKix]

I received the following feedback:

What I like most about this song
Your song ”Sunrise To Sunset”, opens up interestingly enough and then it’s effective enough to draw you in and engage you.

I think you could improve this song by
I think that some of the musical choices that were made here, were probably not as effective as they were intended, and so I’d think about revamping this with different sounds.

I returned or forwarded this song because
This is being returned is because it isn’t executed well enough to compete with songs like Way Back Home (Sam Feldt Edit) SHAUN ft Conor Maynard, “Lullaby” by Sigala, Paloma Faith or “Lose Somebody” by Kygo & OneRepublic.

None of the "Additional things I noticed..." boxes were checked.

Here is the song:
https://www.taxi.com/members/2bsPAMHeSf ... -to-sunset

If that link doesn't work it is the song Sunrise To Sunset here: https://www.taxi.com/members/whitekix


Here is the listing:
Lots of TROP POP (TROPICAL POP) INSTRUMENTALS and/or INSTRUMENTAL CUES are needed by a BRAND NEW Music Library that's being started by a successful Editor for Major TV shows!

They’re looking for Mid-To-Up-Tempo Instrumentals (and/or Cues) in the stylistic ballpark of the references below:

Way Back Home (Sam Feldt Edit) SHAUN ft Conor Maynard

“Lullaby” by Sigala, Paloma Faith

“Lose Somebody” by Kygo & OneRepublic

Although the references have vocals, please submit Instrumentals (and/or Cues) only for this pitch.

Please submit well-produced Instrumentals (and/or Cues) that capture the style, feel, and vibe of the references above. Make sure your submissions sound polished, have engaging rhythms, melodic progressions, and tons of cool ear candy to keep them compelling from start to finish.

Quoting The Music Library Owner: "My most important goal is to have a great library with fresh, current-sounding tracks – that’s the type of material that gets used a lot more."

All submissions should be about 2 to 4 minutes long for Instrumentals and roughly 90 seconds to 2 minutes for Cues, give or take. Non-Faded, buttoned/stinger endings will work best. Do NOT copy the references in any way, shape, or form. Use them only as a general guide for tempo, tone, texture, and overall vibe. Broadcast Quality is needed.

This company offers a NON-EXCLUSIVE, 50/50 deal. They’ll get 100% of the Publisher’s share, and you’ll keep 100% of the Writer’s share. This is a gratis library where the artist and publisher are paid through PRO’s only – Not unusual...actually, very common these days, especially for Reality TV Shows. You must own or control your Master and Copyright. Please submit as many Instrumentals and/or Instrumental Cues as you'd like, online or per CD. All submissions will be screened and critiqued by TAXI. Submissions must be received no later than 11:59 PM (PDT) on Sunday, July 5th, 2020. TAXI # S200705TR

TAXI # S200705TR


I am trying to figure out if I was really close, and it just was a little behind the songs that were forwarded, and there wasn't anything too wrong that stood out for them to highlight. Or, it wasn't close, and the screener just didn't feel like trying specify so many issues. I guess I should be happy that I didn't get the "Not contemporary as requested" and "Could have a better developmental "arc"" boxes checked (That is a step in the right direction). Any feedback would be appreciated.

[AlanHall]

First impression - listening on a cheap computer speaker - is that the instruments all sound 'mashed together'. What I mean by that is there doesn't seem to be much acoustic space (ambience) to let each instrument sit as part of the ensemble, and there doesn't seem to be a lot of EQ used to carve out pockets in the freq spectrum either. More attentive mixing would really make this piece jump, IMHO.

If I had to interpret the critique, I'd say the general 'mushiness' of the mix prevented each voice from sounding as effective as it could have been. Maybe different sounds are needed, but maybe not. I'd like to hear them speak their uniqueness under the best possible circumstances. Hope this helps

[cosmicdolphin]

Some of the musical ideas could work but it does come across a bit cheesy and dated sounding, and that's down to the sounds chosen.

Also it seems like the bass is out of tune with some of the other elements. To get the right sounds you need to do some research, there are good videos out there for free. Alex Rome just put out a Kygo based one with some good tips.

I agree the mix isn't up to scratch like Alan said. Go to the Forwards blog and have a listen to what made it through.

Also with all these genres , you can't just come to them cold and expect to nail it. You need to listen to them over an extended period.

Mark

[Kolstad]

I would just boil it down to, the screener didnt like it for this particular listing.

To my ears, the main idea sounds fine, but the track lacks a bit of development. It gets monotonous pretty fast. The mix also sounds very squeezed so it gets tiresome to listen to at the same time, imho. This mix sounds very digital and too bright.

Developments:

Use more ideas to create variation.
Practice getting volume without hard compression on everything.
Add natural instruments to the mix.
Use reference tracks to check the overall tone of your mix (here: the brightness).

Imo, fwiw, ofc. Best of luck out there.

[WhiteKix]

Thanks for the feedback.

Alan, I will have to focus on the mix and master more, and try more reductive EQ'ing.

Mark, thanks for your input. Unfortunately, I do watch a bunch of Alex Rome and listen to this kind of music quite a bit, so I would have thought I would be further along. I guess I'll just have to keep working at it.

Kolstad, The screener didn't check "Could have a better developmental "arc"", so I was happy about that, but I guess I still need to focus on that. I'll have to experiment with the mixing and mastering.

Thank you all.