Close but didn't make the Cut

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sjs
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Close but didn't make the Cut

Post by sjs » Fri Feb 05, 2021 8:39 am

Hi fellow members,

I had such a good feeling about this listing!
https://www.taxi.com/listings/S210127RK

the song i submitted
song
https://www.taxi.com/members/O9m0qM2jQJ ... Q-dig-deep

But i want to learn from it and get better at both the arrangement/production side and the mixing side which is completely new for me.

this is the critique i received
https://www.taxi.com/members/O9m0qM2jQJ ... W1_c2B9bRA

is it more of a mixing problem (guitars not wide enough?, bad EQ?)
an arrangement problem? does the breakdown feel like there is not enough elements to keep interest?
or is it both and i got to get back to the drawing board.

It was an amazing experience to have reference's and create a song in the same vain. i am used to writing what's in my head. so i am looking forward to taking the critique and moving to the next listing better prepared. Thank you for taking the time to read this

Shawn

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AlanHall
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Re: Close but didn't make the Cut

Post by AlanHall » Fri Feb 05, 2021 10:09 am

Before reading the critique I had these observations:
There's something 'twitchy' about the lead guitar line. Something not idiomatically correct, i.e., there's a spot where the note choices/rhythm/phrasing is "off", and kills the illusion of the sound being an electric guitar. If it's possible to clean that up and make it more lifelike, then that would be good. Or find a guitarist on fiverr who can take your lead line as a 'temp' track and send you some killer riffage?

I agree with the screener on all points - good and bad. Great track, the guitar lets it down. ;)

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cosmicdolphin
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Re: Close but didn't make the Cut

Post by cosmicdolphin » Fri Feb 05, 2021 3:04 pm

sjs wrote:
Fri Feb 05, 2021 8:39 am
is it more of a mixing problem (guitars not wide enough?, bad EQ?)
an arrangement problem? does the breakdown feel like there is not enough elements to keep interest?
or is it both and i got to get back to the drawing board.
Both are intrinsically linked. You can't have a great mix without a good arrangement, and a great arrangement with an average mix will probably still sound pretty good.

I can't see the listing so I don't know what the reference tracks were but....

Foley at start ( sounds like a vehicle of some sort ) ..don't use it ..what if they want to use the track in a scene where there is no vehicle..now they can't or they won't bother to edit it and just move on.

The intro guitars really don't sound very nice ....they're either badly recorded/mixed or a sample that's been stretched/shifted to fit but they sound muddy and phasey at the same time

Kick is not really coming through the mix or hitting very hard..could be a mix issue or could just be the wrong kick sample..or you might need to stack more than one to the the right sound

There's a sound that plays along with the clap that sounds little like a dog barking, I don't think it's helping and it seems to lag and throw off the groove

Bass sounds really wide when you probably want it more mono and centered down there as it will sound more powerful and focused

Like the HH and the sharp claps but that section from 26 kinda goes no where and needs more development or to be shorter

When the guitar comes in around 43s it all sounds a bit muddy , partly I think due to that big wide bass patch and maybe too much low end in the guitars

The riser around 50s is too loud and jumps out of the mix

Most of the rest of the track is a similar arrangement so the same applies, I also noticed the guitar and the drums in the 2nd half of the cue seem to be slightly out of rhythm with each other, the guitars seem to have some sort of groove but the drums are very on the grid and stiff.

I liked the general ideas , a more solid version of this would be a good cue. Just keep working on your arrangement - mix and production skills and you will get better every track you make

Mark

sjs
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Re: Close but didn't make the Cut

Post by sjs » Fri Feb 05, 2021 4:26 pm

First off thanks to everyone for writing. it is a steep learning curve. i was definitely disappointed that my track didn't make it past the gate keepers (and a little upset that the songs forwarded although amazing were not in the same ballpark as the references) but will be putting more work in on this one. starting the mix over however daunting it may seem with all the new critiques' that you were all kind enough to point out should give me a great direction The guitars(recorded) were done with an octave pedal but somewhere along the recording/mixing chain they failed to come through like initially planned. i can see that they need to sound better. Just got Amplitube 5 and it is the best emulation i've ever used. straight out of the box it sounds amazing.
It's funny how the breakdown i intentionally left open but i now see i still have to add melody or more elements to keep it moving along.

Thanks Allan for taking the time to write!
Tom for making me laugh (just missed!)
and Mark for all the recording tips that i will implement immediately! Never met someone with suck a keen ear. You have fantastic mixes by the way, can't wait till I have half those chops!

Have a great week-end and cheers from the snowy north
Shawn

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