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Zaychi
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Did you see this listing...?

Post by Zaychi » Thu Feb 25, 2021 8:54 am

A Bunch of MIDI-driven, quantized SUB-PAR SEVENTIES SONGS are needed by a bottom-notch, sleepy Music Library which never placed any songs in any relevant movies, TV, or commercials. They did manage to place a song on the "Poughkeepsie Today" TV Show on local television in 1993 though.

We didn't include references as we felt they could potentially be more misleading or limiting, than helpful.

Please submit boring, repetitive songs which don't have any cylinders to fire on. Quantized rythms, a mix drenched in reverb, obligate melodies and mediocre hooks are all requirements for this request. Stripped-down arrangements, as well as filled-out productions, could both work for this pitch, as long as you make sure that it doesn't sound as if any real people were playing. If you're planning on using any real instruments, they should sound as if they're cheap, dated samples, as nothing colorfull, lively, or exhibiting OBVIOUS musicianship will work for this request. Nasal, monotonous vocals which are completely out of tune could help you nail this request!

Lyrics should be a long string of names, places, brands, and vulgar bullshit.

Broadcast quality should be avoided at all cost. Garage or bedroom sound is needed.

This company offers an EXCLUSIVE deal; but it is very unlikely that the songs they're looking for are licensed anywhere else anyway. Sync fees will not be split by the company. They will keep 100% of the publisher's share while you get 0% of the writer's share. All submissions will be sent directly to the client, no TAXI screener will be involved. Submissions must be recieved before Christmas and Easter are on the same day.

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Re: Did you see this listing...?

Post by MBantle » Thu Feb 25, 2021 11:59 am

Zaychi wrote:
Thu Feb 25, 2021 8:54 am
A Bunch of MIDI-driven, quantized SUB-PAR SEVENTIES SONGS are needed by a bottom-notch, sleepy Music Library which never placed any songs in any relevant movies, TV, or commercials. They did manage to place a song on the "Poughkeepsie Today" TV Show on local television in 1993 though.

We didn't include references as we felt they could potentially be more misleading or limiting, than helpful.

Please submit boring, repetitive songs which don't have any cylinders to fire on. Quantized rythms, a mix drenched in reverb, obligate melodies and mediocre hooks are all requirements for this request. Stripped-down arrangements, as well as filled-out productions, could both work for this pitch, as long as you make sure that it doesn't sound as if any real people were playing. If you're planning on using any real instruments, they should sound as if they're cheap, dated samples, as nothing colorfull, lively, or exhibiting OBVIOUS musicianship will work for this request. Nasal, monotonous vocals which are completely out of tune could help you nail this request!

Lyrics should be a long string of names, places, brands, and vulgar bullshit.

Broadcast quality should be avoided at all cost. Garage or bedroom sound is needed.

This company offers an EXCLUSIVE deal; but it is very unlikely that the songs they're looking for are licensed anywhere else anyway. Sync fees will not be split by the company. They will keep 100% of the publisher's share while you get 0% of the writer's share. All submissions will be sent directly to the client, no TAXI screener will be involved. Submissions must be recieved before Christmas and Easter are on the same day.
:lol: So they are looking for stiff and obviously midi driven? If so, I will have to ask for an extension of the deadline :D

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Re: Did you see this listing...?

Post by JohnnyP » Thu Feb 25, 2021 6:06 pm

Well done Zaychi!! I actually laughed out loud !!🤣
John L Pearson
www.johnptunes.com

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Re: Did you see this listing...?

Post by Ted » Thu Feb 25, 2021 11:04 pm

LMFAO!!!!!!

Dude this made me howl!

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cosmicdolphin
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Re: Did you see this listing...?

Post by cosmicdolphin » Fri Feb 26, 2021 5:10 am

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Love it !

I think you will get a lot of submissions for this......seriously though, some home truths there. It should be a sticky somewhere.

Mark

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Re: Did you see this listing...?

Post by Ted » Fri Feb 26, 2021 5:57 am

cosmicdolphin wrote:
Fri Feb 26, 2021 5:10 am
It should be a sticky somewhere.

It would totally make a great Taxi T-shirt or coffee mug.

I don't know why, but when I read it, I heard it in the voice of George Carlin.

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