Need feedback on "Too Ghoul For School" revised

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LamarPecorino
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Need feedback on "Too Ghoul For School" revised

Post by LamarPecorino » Fri Mar 26, 2021 4:13 pm

I am working with an outside producer to create a contemporary version of "Too Ghoul For School". I'd appreciate your thoughts. Thanks for listening.

https://soundcloud.com/user-155785959/t ... 4XbXmEgofw
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Re: Need feedback on "Too Ghoul For School" revised

Post by funsongs » Fri Mar 26, 2021 6:03 pm

Not my wheelhouse, this genre - so with that disclaimer:
I've liked this song from the first time you posted it.
However - taking 48 seconds for the HIT to HIT... just seems way too long.
How would it spoil the lyric/storyline/build - to splice that in much sooner, and hit even harder?
It's such a great hook... gotta get there sooner, IMHO.

HTH - let's see what the pros offer.
Your mileage may vary.
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LamarPecorino
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Re: Need feedback on "Too Ghoul For School" revised

Post by LamarPecorino » Fri Mar 26, 2021 7:10 pm

Thanks, Peter. I'm glad that you like the song. We're trying to get the production as contemporary as possible.
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Re: Need feedback on "Too Ghoul For School" revised

Post by Telefunkin » Sat Mar 27, 2021 3:04 am

I like what you have, but I have a few thoughts you might care to consider...
- I agree the run up to the first chorus is too long (about 1/3rd of the whole song).
- I'd also suggest bringing the vocal closer (and drier), especially in the verses.
- perhaps make successive choruses sound/feel a little 'bigger' than previous ones.
Nice song though, so I wish you well with it Lamar.
Graham (UK). Still composing a little faster than decomposing, and 100% HI.

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Re: Need feedback on "Too Ghoul For School" revised

Post by LamarPecorino » Sat Mar 27, 2021 10:31 am

Here is the latest version of "Too Ghoul For School". Thanks for listening and commenting.

https://soundcloud.com/user-155785959/t ... HVX67HGMw8
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Re: Need feedback on "Too Ghoul For School" revised

Post by LamarPecorino » Mon Mar 29, 2021 11:32 am

First, let me thank everyone that has listened to and commented on the various versions of "Too Ghoul For School". I hope that you enjoy this current (hopefully last) version.

https://soundcloud.com/user-155785959/t ... PDAqNGr30e
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Re: Need feedback on "Too Ghoul For School" revised

Post by KennyWayneBuffalo » Wed Mar 31, 2021 4:39 am

LamarPecorino wrote:
Mon Mar 29, 2021 11:32 am
First, let me thank everyone that has listened to and commented on the various versions of "Too Ghoul For School". I hope that you enjoy this current (hopefully last) version.

https://soundcloud.com/user-155785959/t ... PDAqNGr30e
Great job on working with feedback! I like this much better with shorter intro. I think it would be nice to make a more noticeable switch in the chorus, maybe bring up the synth pad or something like that to make it pop more. Nice work.
Ken

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The Final Version - Really

Post by LamarPecorino » Mon Apr 05, 2021 3:17 pm

Here is the final version of "Too Ghoul For School". Thanks again to all that listened and especially to those that commented. Hope that you enjoy it.

https://soundcloud.com/user-155785959/t ... 6uMzZFaov9
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Re: Need feedback on "Too Ghoul For School" revised

Post by funsongs » Mon Apr 05, 2021 3:24 pm

Well - you've piqued my curiosity about what comments you might get from the screener who reviews it.
Good luck for its success.
Cheers.
Peter Rahill - aka "funsongs"
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https://www.youtube.com/@peterrahill9263/featured
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