could this track meet the listing criteria?

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feaker66
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could this track meet the listing criteria?

Post by feaker66 » Tue May 11, 2021 7:59 am

I pulled this track for a facelift. Not a very good effort.

better days ahead
light at the end of the tunnel
rebuilding
pick ourselves up

https://soundcloud.com/feaker66/come-to-me

Come to me

I have seen you slowly fading .conversations yur evading ..you’re just not yourself

I’m your best friend and I’ve been there as your lover know you in and out and I wouldn’t have another..but you’ve got… to let.. me in
I am down on my knees…come to me…


Come to me when you down and troubled …..come to me when your sad and lonely
Come to me when your world has crumbled…I can hold you and set your mind at ease

I can only do so much your smile is gone you’re out of touch I wonder if it’s me
life has been crazy just like l ‘m in a race … backed off just a little
just to give you some space. didn’t seem to help at all…
I need you so bad….come to me
Last edited by feaker66 on Wed May 12, 2021 8:59 am, edited 1 time in total.
Thankfully, while growing old is compulsory, growing up remains optional!

https://soundcloud.com/feaker66

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default ... dID=883613

philipmojbro
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Re: could this track meet the listing criteria?

Post by philipmojbro » Tue May 11, 2021 9:03 am

Hey! Can you post the text of the listing so we know what you’re aiming for?

Philip

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swdaze
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Re: could this track meet the listing criteria?

Post by swdaze » Tue May 11, 2021 9:33 am

Hey buddy good start your guitar sounds sweet.

Think we need to up the tempo a bit sounds a little melancholy.

Also the chorus should go up. The COME TO ME line should feel more hopeful. I have no ear for figuring out chords etc but try flipping the chorus/verse music. It might be a simple solution.

I think if your verses are in the lower register and then goes up for the chorus it will help giving it a more upbeat feel.

Good luck!!

Geo
A square peg can be an elegant solution to a round hole

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feaker66
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Re: could this track meet the listing criteria?

Post by feaker66 » Tue May 11, 2021 12:43 pm

swdaze wrote:
Tue May 11, 2021 9:33 am
Hey buddy good start your guitar sounds sweet.

Think we need to up the tempo a bit sounds a little melancholy.

Also the chorus should go up. The COME TO ME line should feel more hopeful. I have no ear for figuring out chords etc but try flipping the chorus/verse music. It might be a simple solution.

I think if your verses are in the lower register and then goes up for the chorus it will help giving it a more upbeat feel.

Good luck!!

Geo


He bud. My manager and my wife both don't like quickies. Just kidding...no manager. I did think about bumping up the bpm's. So simple to do.
Yeah, that chorus was a tough decision. I started it in the same "C" that was the main progression. That didn't leave many choices. I had to start singing in high "G" and that wasn't happening. The come to me I just blurted out, but you are right, it is not uplifting. Once again everything is easily changed.
I have been cutting and splitting firewood all day and my guitar hand won't allow any more work today. I will hit it tomorrow. So good to be retired. Not so cool to be 72 though. ha ha Please say hi to your sweet wife. thanks
Thankfully, while growing old is compulsory, growing up remains optional!

https://soundcloud.com/feaker66

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default ... dID=883613

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Zaychi
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Re: could this track meet the listing criteria?

Post by Zaychi » Thu May 13, 2021 1:45 am

"Track not found"

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