Anthemic Cue REVISION
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Anthemic Cue REVISION
Here's the REFERENCE: https://www.dropbox.com/sh/pyuohoou35p7 ... emic+1.mp3
Here's my REVISION: https://soundcloud.com/john-dale-music/ ... LUabcDdIwL
Here's my REVISION: https://soundcloud.com/john-dale-music/ ... LUabcDdIwL
- Zaychi
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Re: Anthemic Cue REVISION
I'd say it has basically the same problems as the previous revision.
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Re: Anthemic Cue REVISION
Thanks for your comments, Tom. Can you tell me specifically what would need to change to make it sound more "anthemic" to your ears?CTWF wrote: ↑Tue May 18, 2021 1:00 pmSorry John, I am with Zaychi here. This does not feel anthemic at all to me. I think it could be made anthemic, like pretty much anything can (or can be made trailer, or trap, or you-name-it).
For me, the synth coming in at 0:26 does not really work - even though I can see how a slow riser would make sense. But then, the riser suddenly sizzles out at 0:37, while this is the point where I would expect a massive chorus to set in, because the riser has reached the pay-off point. Instead: Crickets.
The other thing is that the track seems to be overcompressed or pushed way too hard into a limiter given it is a fairly subtle instrumental setting. So, it is extremely loud while feeling quiet, which is weird. The strings sound very MIDI/synthy and limited hard or over-saturated. In short, this is a mix that does not work at all for me.
Overall, to me, this is nice mellow composition (like a feel good track behind a scene where someone is riding his bicycle through green fields on a breezy summer day), but lacks in production as everything sounds over-saturated or limited too hardly.
Tom
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Re: Anthemic Cue REVISION
Thank you for your candor and insight, Tom.CTWF wrote: ↑Tue May 18, 2021 2:16 pmOn the other thread someone wrote "anemic". But over-compressed anemic is worse. It's all about the choice of instruments and the mix. You have always had good melodic ideas since I have followed you on here. But it's the production that often seems to be the problem. You need to make a quantum leap there, because I feel you have been stuck for a while. I write this independent of the "anthemic" issue, which is about composition, as well. As I said, you very often have good ideas, but the execution of the track must catch up with the idea.
Tom
Best!
John
- Telefunkin
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Re: Anthemic Cue REVISION
It might seem unnecessary, but can I suggest listening to the ref track, then listening to your track, then listening to both of them again and maybe making some notes both about the instruments/sounds, anything that stands out and catches your ear, and also how the music makes you feel?
Afterwards, compare your notes on the two tracks and ask yourself....
- Do they sound like a similar artist on the same playlist?
- Do they have similar production values?
- Do they use similar sounds?
- Do they have similar energy and dynamics?
- Do they convey a similar mood/emotion?
- Do you think your track is anthemic in the same way as the ref (whatever your interpretation - I like 'rousing or uplifting')?
My answer to all of those would be no, but that's just my opinion. Your own notes might tell you something similar, and possibly explain why.
Some other thoughts from me...
- As I said about your previous version, I don't think the sounds you're using are helping you.
- The echoing synth playing 5ths doesn't stand well on its own as an intro (sounds a bit random rather than having music phrasing).
- There's something in that riser at 26s and 1:30 that sounds like distortion (or is causing some) - perhaps you de-tuned or slowed it down?
- The string synth lead that comes in at 1:03 and 1:09 onwards is overpowering (as well as being very plain and sounding out of time).
- At 1:36 there a piercing sound like a dentist's drill.
- There's no ending, things just stop.
Again, just my opinoins.
Sorry for the tough criticism, but I hope that having some perspective on how your track comes across to others helps you find some fixes.
Afterwards, compare your notes on the two tracks and ask yourself....
- Do they sound like a similar artist on the same playlist?
- Do they have similar production values?
- Do they use similar sounds?
- Do they have similar energy and dynamics?
- Do they convey a similar mood/emotion?
- Do you think your track is anthemic in the same way as the ref (whatever your interpretation - I like 'rousing or uplifting')?
My answer to all of those would be no, but that's just my opinion. Your own notes might tell you something similar, and possibly explain why.
Some other thoughts from me...
- As I said about your previous version, I don't think the sounds you're using are helping you.
- The echoing synth playing 5ths doesn't stand well on its own as an intro (sounds a bit random rather than having music phrasing).
- There's something in that riser at 26s and 1:30 that sounds like distortion (or is causing some) - perhaps you de-tuned or slowed it down?
- The string synth lead that comes in at 1:03 and 1:09 onwards is overpowering (as well as being very plain and sounding out of time).
- At 1:36 there a piercing sound like a dentist's drill.
- There's no ending, things just stop.
Again, just my opinoins.
Sorry for the tough criticism, but I hope that having some perspective on how your track comes across to others helps you find some fixes.
Graham (UK). Still composing a little faster than decomposing, and 100% HI.
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Re: Anthemic Cue REVISION
Thank you for taking the time to comment.Telefunkin wrote: ↑Wed May 19, 2021 1:13 pmIt might seem unnecessary, but can I suggest listening to the ref track, then listening to your track, then listening to both of them again and maybe making some notes both about the instruments/sounds, anything that stands out and catches your ear, and also how the music makes you feel?
Afterwards, compare your notes on the two tracks and ask yourself....
- Do they sound like a similar artist on the same playlist?
- Do they have similar production values?
- Do they use similar sounds?
- Do they have similar energy and dynamics?
- Do they convey a similar mood/emotion?
- Do you think your track is anthemic in the same way as the ref (whatever your interpretation - I like 'rousing or uplifting')?
My answer to all of those would be no, but that's just my opinion. Your own notes might tell you something similar, and possibly explain why.
Some other thoughts from me...
- As I said about your previous version, I don't think the sounds you're using are helping you.
- The echoing synth playing 5ths doesn't stand well on its own as an intro (sounds a bit random rather than having music phrasing).
- There's something in that riser at 26s and 1:30 that sounds like distortion (or is causing some) - perhaps you de-tuned or slowed it down?
- The string synth lead that comes in at 1:03 and 1:09 onwards is overpowering (as well as being very plain and sounding out of time).
- At 1:36 there a piercing sound like a dentist's drill.
- There's no ending, things just stop.
Again, just my opinoins.
Sorry for the tough criticism, but I hope that having some perspective on how your track comes across to others helps you find some fixes.
-
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Re: Anthemic Cue REVISION
Is it just me or does that reference track not even sound anthemic at all. (The 2nd ref track in the listing seems only slightly better) . The only thing the "#1" reference track has going for it, is thin-thick textural contrast (that is not anthemic it is just texture change) and heavy downbeat on the 1.
I think the underlying question is, how closely to follow what is heard on the ref tracks, vs. what the description "says they want". Seems to me there is a disconnect the size of the grand canyon here (but what do I know). If I were to write for that (which I'm not) then I think I would ignore the text completely and go with the harmony style & texture of the track. Which is more "minor-rock with phat beat drop to thickness" to me (not to be described as "anthemic").
Sounds like it is outlining an augmented triad. Is it? Augmented triad will not sound solid or anthemic is my perspective. No amount of production will make it sound upbeat or anthemic. It is not solid tonality. It will sound mysterious and/or emo forever. Anthemic would outline 1st 5th 1st, likely in a I-V-I chord progression as well (maybe with a vi for variety). True or false?
I think the underlying question is, how closely to follow what is heard on the ref tracks, vs. what the description "says they want". Seems to me there is a disconnect the size of the grand canyon here (but what do I know). If I were to write for that (which I'm not) then I think I would ignore the text completely and go with the harmony style & texture of the track. Which is more "minor-rock with phat beat drop to thickness" to me (not to be described as "anthemic").
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- cosmicdolphin
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Re: Anthemic Cue REVISION
And therein lies the heart of the problem
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- Telefunkin
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Re: Anthemic Cue REVISION
Unless the listing specifically said that they expect you to provide a minimum number of tracks its quite a skill you have to be able to predict that .
No interest? Personally, I would much rather be asked to make another 10 tracks than sign up just the one.
Graham (UK). Still composing a little faster than decomposing, and 100% HI.
- cosmicdolphin
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Re: Anthemic Cue REVISION
Me too !Telefunkin wrote: ↑Thu May 20, 2021 4:18 amNo interest? Personally, I would much rather be asked to make another 10 tracks than sign up just the one.
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