Feedback on Song-Peer to Peer

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MichellePerron
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Feedback on Song-Peer to Peer

Post by MichellePerron » Sat Jul 24, 2021 9:20 am

Hi there, As a songwriter, and guitarist only I sometimes feel a bit limited, because I do not record or produce. Recently, I wrote for a listing, and had the song produced, and sent into Taxi for the listing, but it came back with "Chorus doesn't stand out enough", and "Production not modern enough". I know each screener may give different feedback, but was wondering if any peers could have a listen to this song, and give advice or suggestions as to making the chorus standout, ot making the song more contemporary, as far as specific instrument plugins, changes or additions? If I were to try another production of this song, or a different one, I feel it would be helpful if I or the producer knew production wise what seems to make something sound more current, if that makes sense?
Here is the reference song,https://soundcloud.com/michellemperron/join-hands
Thanks in advance!

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cosmicdolphin
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Re: Feedback on Song-Peer to Peer

Post by cosmicdolphin » Sat Jul 24, 2021 3:28 pm

A lot of this sort of stuff is contextual so without the listing / references there's only so much you can glean.

Production wise it sounds very 90s to me..I think it's mainly the drum sound. Recording sounds decent enough but I don't think the mix is properly balanced , the vocal is too far in front of the music.

As far as the chorus goes it sounds more like a pre-chorus, I didn't get any sense I'd reached the main hook of the song yet - then it was back the the verse. So I think the issue is more about the songwriting and not the production , but that said I think you need more sectional contrast in your arrangement as well as writing a memorable chorus.

I also get the feeling that the lyrics don't flow particularly well and it's almost like the singer is rushing to cram everything in at certain points.

I think overall it needs a re-write...another pass at the lyrics to make them fit the meter of the music , turn what is now the chorus into a pre-chorus with an ascending melody that leads us to an actual chorus. Then write a new chorus part - you probably need it to be more legato with longer notes to contrast the verses. Pick a famous song in a similar style and listen to what they do.

Then you need more contrast in the arrangement for the new chorus, add a couple of parts we've not heard before, stack the backing vocals up , add some percussion etc.

Production wise the best way is to listen to lots of contemporary songs in the same genre , then it just becomes ingrained what you should do. If you are not involved in the production just write down everything the references do ...reverse engineer it and make sure you do something similar. The info is all there in the references.

Mark

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Re: Feedback on Song-Peer to Peer

Post by MichellePerron » Sat Jul 24, 2021 5:40 pm

Thanks Mark.
I appreciate your advice, and will definitely take some ideas you mentioned into another production attempt.

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Casey H
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Re: Feedback on Song-Peer to Peer

Post by Casey H » Sat Jul 24, 2021 6:46 pm

I agree a lot with what Cosmic said.

The main thing is it needs a real standout chorus and this one doesn't pop out as such. A song called "Join Hands" especially needs to get people up off their feet, singing and dancing, and clapping hands to it. Make it anthemic! (Easier said than done, I know).

I think the lyrics are too full of syllables, less might be more in this song. Also, the minor chords and melody in the chorus are at somewhat at odds with the message.

Just an idea, not well thought out: You may want to start by just putting on a beat with a drum loop, finding a chord pattern and "toplining" catchy melodies with "Join Hands", "Let's all join hands", "C'mon join hands", and other ideas. Make it something that really makes you want to move. I think it would be mostly on major chords.

Upbeat, motivational songs are often in demand. I hope you make this a really good one!

Best,
:D Casey

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Re: Feedback on Song-Peer to Peer

Post by MichellePerron » Mon Aug 02, 2021 9:39 am

Thanks Casey.
I'll try to take another swing at it. :D

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paulkearnsmusic
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Re: Feedback on Song-Peer to Peer

Post by paulkearnsmusic » Thu Aug 19, 2021 2:55 am

Hi there, As a songwriter, and guitarist only I sometimes feel a bit limited, because I do not record or produce
I'm only a "Newbie" on Taxi - but I've been working with singer / writers for years.

I have a voice that's "perfect for silent films" and I'm a keyboard player - not a guitarist.

I listened to your song and, to be honest, the recording sounded a little "dated" with little "3D" depth - but the song itself is good.
IMHO it fell down in the chorus - which built up nicely and, when it reached what I felt should have been the "hook", the harmonies seemed to fade into the background.

In my head, I could "hear" where it should have gone - if that makes any kind of sense!! :D

I've got the recording equipment, a full range of professional sound libraries and love nothing more than working with an "embryonic" tune from someone such as yourself and coming up with full production that we're both happy with.

I'm lucky in that I'm retired - so I have the time free and don't need to charge for my work. But I'm unlucky because I'm disabled and can only work 2 to 3 hours a day - so I can take on too much.

I've always felt hampered in that I'm always stuck only being able to produce instrumental music - which can be limiting when I've got to try and get everything into 90 seconds.

I'd be more than happy to "kick around" a few ideas with you if you fancy - just to see if anything gels.

If anything comes out of it - then we see how we both might benefit ;) :idea:

No pressure - if you don't fancy it, no worries.
If you do - PM me and we'll work something out.

All the best

Paul :idea:

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Re: Feedback on Song-Peer to Peer

Post by AlanHall » Thu Aug 19, 2021 7:33 am

Michelle,
A folk (folk-rock) listing just dropped: S210909FR
While the ref tracks collectively show that there's no 'one right way' to write a song, I think (pardon me if I'm wrong here!) that the first track seems to capture a modern version of the vibe that you have in your song. Take a listen to the instrumentation and the melodic line to hear what passes for folk these days. A lot different from what I heard growing up, to be sure!
Alan

edit: and it's a prime example of the 'big chorus' discussed above ;)

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