*UPDATED* MODERN, ACOUSTIC-Based SINGER/SONGWRITER SONGS S211018SS

[swdaze]

Hi guys was rewriting an old song (a favorite past time of mine) and thought I would give it a shot here. Still got to layer in some more keys we just did the first vocal last night. I know it's not hitting the MODERN requirement just yet so any suggestions there are welcomed. Was going to start with the drums.

Any and all other comments are welcomed.

Thanks, Geo

UPDATE: 1/2 time beat in first verse edited, sprinkled in some more keys and remixed. Unless anyone hears anything I think it's done for now. Will most likely redo vocals in a month or so. Hopefully by then I'll have the screener comments to use as well. Thanks for the help all!!

UPDATED LINK

https://www.taxi.com/members/kFrx_Q6OQc ... -i-ll-wait

PROMISE U I’LL WAIT
Geo 2021

I put down the phone I’m on my own
Alone lying here in my bed
Your memory lingers your picture a fixture
Now hanging there in my head
Hanging by a thread

Promise you I’ll wait
Wait until I see you again
Wanna hold you in my hands
Promise you I’ll wait
Wait until I see you again
Wait wait until promise you I’ll wait
Wait wait until I see you again

Alone and restless I must confess
This stress is causing concern
No matter what I do I just think of you
But tell me what have I learned
As I toss and turn

Promise you I’ll wait
Wait until I see you again
Wanna hold you in my hands
Promise you I’ll wait
Wait until I see you again
Wait wait until promise you I’ll wait
Wait wait until I see you again

This has all been so surreal
I just love the way you make me feel
It’s like time stands still

Wait wait until promise you I’ll wait
Wait wait until I see you again

Promise you I’ll wait
Wait until I see you again
Wanna hold you in my hands
Promise you I’ll wait
Wait until I see you again
Wait wait until promise you I’ll wait
Wait wait until I see you again
Wait wait until promise you I’ll wait
Wait
Wait

[AlanHall]

Caveat: Not an expert!

As just a first impression, I suggest getting out of down-tempo and making it more of a youthful pop-punk sound (is that even a thing anymore?). Maybe on the bridge drop to half time to get the lamenting feel you have for the song on the lines "This has all been so surreal/I just love the way you make me feel/It’s like time stands still" which allows you to paint the line "time stands still" with an exaggerated pause, similar to the breakdown you have there already.

[swdaze]

Caveat: Not an expert!

As just a first impression, I suggest getting out of down-tempo and making it more of a youthful pop-punk sound (is that even a thing anymore?). Maybe on the bridge drop to half time to get the lamenting feel you have for the song on the lines "This has all been so surreal/I just love the way you make me feel/It’s like time stands still" which allows you to paint the line "time stands still" with an exaggerated pause, similar to the breakdown you have there already.

Thanks Alan! Funny thing I had the idea about extending that pause on my way out the door today, great minds on that one . The half time was a cool idea worked that in as well as a sprinkling of keyboards.

Gracias!!

Geo

[irthlingz]

I also think it might improve the production to have more variation, probably by giving more emphasis or lift to the choruses over the verses; they seem pretty similar in overall energy and feel now.

===
Michael

[feaker66]

Hi Geo Really liked the chorus the best. Some nice guitar work in there. Sounds like Mike's vocal was a little to dry. Maybe a touch of delay there. Lyric words in the bridge got lost. time to polish now my ole friend. good story. Thanks also for the help on my last song. I got that transition worked in and only had to change a few verse notes to fit the change. Good catch..rock on

[swdaze]

I also think it might improve the production to have more variation, probably by giving more emphasis or lift to the choruses over the verses; they seem pretty similar in overall energy and feel now.

===
Michael

Thanks Michael!! I put in the 1/2 time for the first verse and like it. Might tweak the beat a bit. Didn't like the transition back for the second verse so decided to leave that one as is.

Much appreciated.

Geo

[swdaze]

Hi Geo Really liked the chorus the best. Some nice guitar work in there. Sounds like Mike's vocal was a little to dry. Maybe a touch of delay there. Lyric words in the bridge got lost. time to polish now my ole friend. good story. Thanks also for the help on my last song. I got that transition worked in and only had to change a few verse notes to fit the change. Good catch..rock on

Thanks friend was hoping you would say the chorus lyric. Kim had to listen to about 20 rewrites and every time said she liked a previous one better.... until this one. Tim did a great job with the guitar he's such a pro. All he had was a basic drum, bass and keyboard tracks, no vocals. Just told him it was for a singer/songwriter submission and off he went.

Still got great ears I didn't turn up the effects on all the backups good catch there. I boosted the break lyric a bit I've got effect tracks layered over and was going for a bit of an "off in the distance" feel but you still got to hear it, am I right?

Heading over to check out your changes.

Peace