Need advice on lyrics

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Patrick
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Re: Need advice on lyrics

Post by Patrick » Thu Oct 21, 2021 2:23 am

For the Bridge, how about more like...

Well some look forever, for some maybe never
They live for the moment day by day
But Ill always treasure, our times together
Cause you breathed life into me

(I'm lifting the bridge lyrics from a song I penned years ago, but I think it dovetails nicely with your song.)

Nice work songmaster!

Pat
Bad art can make you laugh
Good art can make you think
Great art can destroy you

- Me

(Did he just quote himself?? Yes! Yes I did!)

songmaster
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Re: Need advice on lyrics

Post by songmaster » Fri Oct 22, 2021 8:48 am

Thanks Patrick for that! I have actually rewritten the bridge again, Yes I take a lot of time getting around to things. I don't want to put the main title at the end of the bridge because it is already in the chorus. Also, this song is a little darker than the beautiful bridge you have. So far I have:

When the moon comes out
And the last of the daylight dies
With your lips on my mouth
You bring me back to life

I have also changed more of the whole song. Thanks for taking an interest :)

Tom

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Re: Need advice on lyrics

Post by jlt » Thu Mar 03, 2022 4:13 pm

I was thinking:
All you had to do was breathe
should be:
All you had to do was breathe on me
Jerry Lee Taylor

songmaster
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Re: Need advice on lyrics

Post by songmaster » Thu Mar 10, 2022 7:39 am

Thanks JLT, Yeah that could work also. I haven't looked at this song for a while. I'll have to get back to it. Thanks for the suggestion, :)

Tom

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