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crashgates
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Post by crashgates » Mon Sep 26, 2022 7:16 pm

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Last edited by crashgates on Thu Sep 29, 2022 9:44 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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cosmicdolphin
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Re: Feedback Wtd SINGER/SONGWRITER

Post by cosmicdolphin » Tue Sep 27, 2022 4:33 pm

Sorry Crash is this a joke - are you purposely posting something completely dreadful to see how polite people are ? :shock:

Just awful.

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Post by crashgates » Tue Sep 27, 2022 5:11 pm

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Last edited by crashgates on Thu Sep 29, 2022 11:10 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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cassmcentee
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Re: Feedback Wtd SINGER/SONGWRITER

Post by cassmcentee » Tue Sep 27, 2022 6:40 pm

Doesn't pass the 3 second rule...
Piano is robotic/quantized... nothing natural about the sound
Vocal comes in with a Scoop
Vocal processing sounds like bad early 80's
Had to turn it off
Sorry
Robert "Cass" McEntee
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https://soundcloud.com/robert-cass-mcentee
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Post by crashgates » Tue Sep 27, 2022 6:57 pm

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Last edited by crashgates on Thu Sep 29, 2022 11:10 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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cosmicdolphin
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Re: Feedback Wtd SINGER/SONGWRITER

Post by cosmicdolphin » Wed Sep 28, 2022 1:17 am

crashgates wrote:
Tue Sep 27, 2022 5:11 pm
Although would have appreciated a tad more detail why its so Awful, just for my own development :
OK Thought it was a wind up. I'm sure you've posted better things before now.

Intro : Bad midi sounding piano that seem like it's played by an arpeggiator and not a human...Suggested fix..learn piano/keys or if not buy EzKeys then at least you'll have some decent pianos and playing styles

11s - The vocals are the worst part. It sounds like a cross between Darth Vader and a Cylon doing the worst Elvis impression you've ever heard. Robotic, pitchy - it's un-listenable other than as a parody : Suggested fix - take off the robotic effect, possibly get someone else to sing it.

I can' barely hear the drums , they're not mixed at the right level but from what I can hear they don't sound in time with the piano ; Bring up the drums , bass and other elements so they balance, listen to the piano & drums by themselves to make sure the groove is in sync.

Lyrically it is pigeonholed to a certain life event so it's universal and could only be used in a scene where it's someone's birthday. Suggested fix - Don't use very specific events in lyrics for sync - get the Robin Fredrick book about writing for Film & TV

The listing asked for live played instruments and I don't hear any. It also asks for well performed vocals and a polished mix neither of which are present here. It's not often I can't make it all the way through a track , hopefully you can save the $5 and put it towards something that will help you.

Mark

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Re: Feedback Wtd SINGER/SONGWRITER

Post by Telefunkin » Wed Sep 28, 2022 1:24 am

crashgates wrote:
Mon Sep 26, 2022 7:16 pm
Listing is requesting well-written Singer/Songwriter Song that captures an updated, modern take on the classic Singer/Songwriter stylings of artists like Neil Young, Joni Mitchell, and Carole King and showcase your unique sensibilities as an artist. Submissions should have captivating melodies, honest, well-crafted lyrics, top-notch arrangements, and emotional, well-performed vocals :roll: . Live-recorded, acoustic-based instrumentation – led with a Piano or Acoustic Guitar – in the general ballpark of the references will work best for this request. Please avoid anything with modern electronic beats and elements, as well as anything that sounds too vintage or Classic Rock-styled. Please closely study the references to really understand the style and sound this listing is after. The production should be polished, and if you choose to use any virtual instruments or samples, they need to be high-quality and not dated sounding :roll: , as well.
Hi, I'd find the listing a little daunting. Those singer/songwriters named made a huge impact in their time for baring their souls with emotional songs that really connected with people on a deep level. They also had great musicality, played well, wrote lyrics that tore into you, melodies that really flowed, sang well and performed with character and personality. They showed their sensibilities as artists, as the listing says, and goes on to mention "captivating melodies, honest, well-crafted lyrics, top-notch arrangements, and emotional, well-performed vocals". Live-recorded instruments is also a natural request in order to maximise the emotion. As if all of that wasn't enough of a challenge, a modern take on it is asked for. The refs all feature very clear and well-delivered vocals that are pure but have some personality, and more modern lyrics and phrasing. So, the specification is tough but clearly laid out.

Sorry to pile on the agony, but I have to agree (and I hope you can see why) that many aspects of your song don't deliver. In particular, for a 'singer/songwriter' listing its a 'given' that the vocal is key, which requires a good vocal. Your track's vocal is struggling to hit pitch and has so much treatment that dehumanises it - which is absolutely the opposite of what is asked for [but I think you knew this, hence your rolling eyes :roll: ]. I'm sure there's a place for that style, but its not in a singer/songwriter submission. I sense some emotion in the lyrics, but there's no depth, and they repeat until the listener zones-out rather than keeping them hooked in and feeling invested like they're about 'me'. Therefore, its hard to connect for 3 minutes. I'm no screener, but I can't see this track being forwarded for this listing.

That said, there's no reason you couldn't update the piano, try a stronger lyric and work in a natural vocal performance, then suddenly you might be on your way.
Graham (UK). Still composing a little faster than decomposing, and 100% HI.

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