Feedback Request: Americana

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johnnyrowing
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Feedback Request: Americana

Post by johnnyrowing » Wed Nov 30, 2022 10:51 pm

Is anyone willing to give me some feedback regarding the mixing, production, etc. on this Americana track.

Also, I could add a higher vocal part performed by a female especially during the chorus. Would that be a good idea?

Other comments are welcomed too, if something jumps out at you.


This is for the current Americana Listing
https://www.taxi.com/industry#listing-S221204DA

Here is the link to the track:
https://www.taxi.com/members/Ef77nz5GSm ... -gone-gone

Here are the lyrics:
I reminisce about the autumn leaves
When I’m in summer sun
And all the snow I do remember sweet
Until the winter comes

Yea, I love what’s gone, gone, gone

And I’ve got proof that you did say you’d stay
Just read the ink on my bones
But you make January promises
Then February comes

And I love what’s gone, gone, gone, gone
Our love is gone, gone, gone

Why did you take your love, babe?
Why did you take your love away?
Why did you take your love, babe?
Why did you take your love away?

It takes faith to write poetry
And I got no words on this page
Everything I thought was permanent
Just fades . . .

I love what’s gone, gone, gone, gone
Our love is gone - gone (Why do I love what is gone?)

Gone, gone, gone
Gone, gone, gone

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DouglasKnight
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Re: Feedback Request: Americana

Post by DouglasKnight » Thu Dec 01, 2022 5:51 am

Wow -- very nice work all around, Johnny. Seems pretty on-target for the brief. If anything, mix-wise, the drums sounded a bit dry to me, especially the snare, but that's just my personal taste. Also, the shaker seemed a bit loud and kind of competes with the hat on the left side of the mix, so maybe try reversing the panning with the tambourine? Anyway, great job and best of luck with this cool song!

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Re: Feedback Request: Americana

Post by feaker66 » Thu Dec 01, 2022 6:30 am

Hi I'm not member anymore but I do check for singer/songwriter posts. Your song is lovely. My judgement isn't usually useful at age 74. It the song were mine I might not have any percussion at all until about the 37 mark. The rim shots were annoying to me. The chorus of course needs drums. I think in general your choice in that department is crucial to the song's success.
Your voice is warm and very inviting, so there is that. I thought by looking at the lyrics, the gone gone part was too sparse, but it works well. I produce a song about every week of two and have hundreds. That being said, maybe a dozen are pretty decent. I always hoped I would get feedback of any kind. I was a basketball coach back in the day and always told my assistant to keep feeding me information and I will determine the changes to be made. You have the chops bud, I hope the best for you.
Thankfully, while growing old is compulsory, growing up remains optional!

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Re: Feedback Request: Americana

Post by johnnyrowing » Thu Dec 01, 2022 12:56 pm

Douglas Knight and Feaker,
Thank you both for the kind and affirming words. I'm not carrying a heavy load of confidence. Hearing good things is very welcomed. :)

Thank you both for taking the time to give feedback.


I have tried to apply work - per your critiques.

Douglas Revisions
1. I swapped the shaker and tambo. I brought the shaker down in volume to better balance with the hi-hat.

2. I added some "room" reverb to the whole kit. I do think it helped to give more dimension to the track - took out some harshness - and generally feels more fitting for the song. Thanks for that. I did apply it subtly. I hope I took it far enough and not too far. :)

3. I also added in a more "artsy/big" reverb ONLY on the kick and ONLY on the verses. I hope that kick helps it to be a bit more contemporary and adds to the sectional distinction. Also, as I deleted some of the snare work, I thought that kick reverb filled out the space a bit. I hop it adds and is not distracting or too crazy.


Feaker Revisions
I still have percussion from the outset. But, I brought back the snare in volume and tried to play it with more reserve in the introduction.

Per your feedback, I deleted the rimshots in the first 2 verses. I kept the rimshots in the third verse but brought it back in the mix.

I did keep the hi-hats in for those first 2 verses. I really like the playing on the hats. So, maybe I am too attached and should mix out the hats too?



I am open to further thoughts if anyone has them. I'd love to do all I can to learn and help the track get better.


With gratitude,
Johnny

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Re: Feedback Request: Americana

Post by johnnyrowing » Fri Dec 02, 2022 10:35 pm

I think I've got a version I can roll with now.

Thanks Feaker and Douglas.

Your feedback helped me.

Johnny

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Re: Feedback Request: Americana

Post by DouglasKnight » Sat Dec 03, 2022 7:37 am

johnnyrowing wrote:
Fri Dec 02, 2022 10:35 pm
I think I've got a version I can roll with now.

Thanks Feaker and Douglas.

Your feedback helped me.

Johnny
Hey Johnny, that's great to hear! All the best, Doug

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Re: Feedback Request: Americana

Post by johnlewitt » Wed Dec 07, 2022 12:39 pm

Nice tune, definitely work on finding a home for it. All the performances are good IMO, though the band and the vocalist don't seem to be completely in the same room (it's close, but no perfect to my ears). I wouldn't touch the vocal, but perhaps send the whole band to a reverb via a bus. That also may just be personal taste speaking here. Good luck with it. Reminds me a little of Ray Lamontagne.

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Re: Feedback Request: Americana

Post by johnnyrowing » Thu Dec 08, 2022 10:11 am

John,
Thanks so much for the kind words. I do hope "Gone, Gone, Gone" finds a home someday. Perhaps I can still do some tweaking and take the track to a bit higher level.

Ray Lamontagne
I'll be listening to Ray Lamontagne today. :) I poked through a few tunes right after your comment and was immediately charmed but his writing and voice. :) I think I've come across a few of his tunes on playlists - stations - etc. but I've never listened to an entire album. Thanks for the rec. I'm listening to "Narrow Escape" right now. :)

Reverb
A friend of mine had a similar comment on the mix. So, I actually did put the entire mix through a measure of verb (a super-cautious 10%). Maybe I should've taken it further? I'm always worried about making a mix too 80's. Ha! I'll play around with a little more courage on the verb.


Returns - Chorus and Lyrical Overuse

Sadly, this tune and one other tune that I submitted did get a return. Similar feedback on both tracks - and worse similar feedback as many of my previous Americana submissions. So, I'm repeating errors. Can I be taught? Ha!

Basically, my (a) chorus work doesn't stand out enough and a (b) improvement comment of sparser use of some lyrics. I'm thinking of trying to get a custom critique on both of those issues. I often use tags/refrains in my writing and 374 consistently comments that "sparser lyric use" would benefit the tune. Maybe I should be abandoning tags/refrains? I am also trying to help the choruses with lots of things but, so far, it's not quite cutting the mustard. I'm, currently, out of ideas. So, I thought I might reach out and see if a pro could give me some new tools/ideas/etc. Maybe it's something simple that would help my chorus?


Member Feedback?
I'll attach the feedback and links to both tracks. Now that the listing has passed, forum feedback isn't as critical. However, in truth, in case anyone is interested and wanted to comment, I'd love feedback. Specifically, on the (a) chorus and (b) refrain/tags issues. Any ideas?

On the choruses, I am trying to:
1. keep the verses staid/reserved to allow for the chorus to size up.
2. save more elaborate and powerful percussion for the Chorus.
3. push overall volume up for the chorus.
4. give a little EQ bump for the chorus.
5. put the highest notes in the melody in the chorus.
6. reduce lyrical complexity to make the chorus more singable.
7. start the phrases on different beats than the verses.
8. give more legato lines to the chorus.
9 reserve harmonies for the chorus.
10. reserve the bass or bump the bass more during chorus.

Any other ideas?

On the Sparse Lyric Use
Are refrains/tags lame sauce?
If abandoning that as one of my Americana techniques, what do I sub in instead or do I just skip it entirely, or do I just reduce the refrain/tag, etc.? :)


Anyhow, I realize all the above may be a too deep-dive request for the forums. :) So, no big deal, if there is no interest in sharing but - you never know. I'm at a level of desperation that is causing me to seek help with a level of abandon that might not be healthy or perhaps it is wise. In the immortal words, of Lloyd Dobler, "I don't know. I can't figure it all out tonight. I'm just trying to date your daughter." :)

Anyhow, I'd love to stop repeating the same errors.

Regardless, of what comes from this post, I do appreciate the board and specifically the three of you that have shared some affirming and helpful thoughts.



374 Screener Feedback - Gone, Gone, Gone
https://www.taxi.com/members/Ef77nz5GSm ... yuHAmjc2Pw


374 Screener Feedback - Other Track - I Lost it All
https://www.taxi.com/members/Ef77nz5GSm ... M-L97yEa6g


Gone, Gone, Gone, - Taxi Link
https://www.taxi.com/members/Ef77nz5GSm ... -gone-gone


I Lost it All - Taxi Link
https://www.taxi.com/members/Ef77nz5GSm ... oductions-

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Re: Feedback Request: Americana

Post by VanderBoegh » Fri Dec 09, 2022 9:33 am

Hey Johnny! Two returns with these? Man, that's a bummer, as they're great songs. The links to the listings (which I found in the screener critique form) just brought me to the general Taxi listing page, so I'm not sure what the listings were for specifically. However, I did notice that in one of the critiques the screener mentioned "high bar listing". So, that alone leads me to believe that this was one of those moonshot listings that requires something above-and-beyond, a "hit" if you will. And it might be that even though that song was great, it wasn't the hit they were looking for.

Could also be that screener 374 is just a tough nut to crack, and if he/she is constantly screening these singer/songwriter listings, then you'll be up against that person again and again. So, it might be like being the Homedale Junior Varsity basketball team asked to play against the Michael Jordan era Chicago Bulls, night after night. No matter how great your game is, it's just gonna face an uphill battle. Probably a very poor analogy, but you get the drift. 374 has very discerning ears!

I dunno, man. I'd love to try my hand at one of these with you and see what we could do. That said, for these tracks, I just know there's got to be a home for them somewhere.

~~Matt

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Re: Feedback Request: Americana

Post by Casey H » Fri Dec 09, 2022 10:02 am

Actually, I find #374 to be one of the most lenient with forwards. So usually if I get a return by him/her, I figure it must really not have met the bar/requirements. I'll see if I can find the listing text for these.
VanderBoegh wrote:
Fri Dec 09, 2022 9:33 am
Hey Johnny! Two returns with these? Man, that's a bummer, as they're great songs. The links to the listings (which I found in the screener critique form) just brought me to the general Taxi listing page, so I'm not sure what the listings were for specifically. However, I did notice that in one of the critiques the screener mentioned "high bar listing". So, that alone leads me to believe that this was one of those moonshot listings that requires something above-and-beyond, a "hit" if you will. And it might be that even though that song was great, it wasn't the hit they were looking for.

Could also be that screener 374 is just a tough nut to crack, and if he/she is constantly screening these singer/songwriter listings, then you'll be up against that person again and again. So, it might be like being the Homedale Junior Varsity basketball team asked to play against the Michael Jordan era Chicago Bulls, night after night. No matter how great your game is, it's just gonna face an uphill battle. Probably a very poor analogy, but you get the drift. 374 has very discerning ears!

I dunno, man. I'd love to try my hand at one of these with you and see what we could do. That said, for these tracks, I just know there's got to be a home for them somewhere.

~~Matt

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