Second go at a dreampop/bedroom lofi style song

[MJLeeman]

I had a first go at this style a couple of months ago, but I went off on a tangent and ended up with something very remote indeed from the style of the references. So I have revisited that specific listing, even though it is now well out-of-date. It was listing # S220219BR. I don't seem to be able to find the text of that listing, but here is the reference on which I have loosely based my track below:-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZRYzH0Q0pU

Out of necessity, the instrumental backing of my track is entirely midi-based. It would have been ideal to have had access to a vintage strat and telecaster and effects and a bass guitar played with a hard plectrum, all through valve amps. And a real drummer, for that matter.

When I first had a go at this genre, one of the comments was that the music generally needed to be something which young students would typically have playing while doing homework.

My query is whether I am reasonably close to the style in my track and if the lyrics sort of reflect what seems to me to be a pretty introspective vibe where the singer is attempting to communicate / sort out a problem with a loved one/partner.

Anyway, here is the track:-

https://www.taxi.com/members/nwRU7pygQr ... ng-nowhere

Cheers
Michael

[karafinman]

It's very nice. But I don't like the Grammerly ad.

[irthlingz]

It was listing # S220219BR. I don't seem to be able to find the text of that listing,

The listing is in this post:

post597944.html

[MJLeeman]

Here are listing details:

After this listing had expired, my second attempt was a song, though Taxi's client had been looking for instrumentals/cues.

LO-FI BEDROOM POP INSTRUMENTALS and/or INSTRUMENTAL CUES are needed by a NEW International Music Licensing Company!

TAXI TIP: This Library is BRAND NEW to requesting music through TAXI, so chances are you don’t have any material in their catalog yet! This is a great opportunity to get in first and create a new outlet for your music and begin a new relationship with an awesome new company!

This Company is searching for Instrumentals and/or Instrumental Cues that would fit on a playlist with the following references:

WARNING: The references may include graphic and explicit lyrics. Listener discretion is advised.

"Show Me How" by Men I Trust

"If U Want Me 2" by Layzi

"Wolfcat" by Still Woozy

Although the references have vocals, please submit Instrumentals and/or Instrumental Cues only for this request.

Please submit well-produced Lo-Fi Bedroom Pop Instrumentals (or Cues) with solid melodies, engaging synths, excellent arrangements, fresh sound beds, and an overall relaxed, lo-fi feel. Your production and any virtual instruments or samples you use should be modern and generally competitive with the references and others like them – nothing dated will work, here. Imagine the type of music a teenager would listen to in their room while they're doing homework – that's the sound they're looking for!

IMPORTANT NOTE: This Company offers an Exclusive deal, and has a strong preference for signing material from songwriters who have worked for libraries and licensing companies in the past and understand how standard deals work. If you don't have that experience and you don't know the drill on typical deals, they politely ask that you don't submit to this request.

All submissions should be at least 1:45 minutes long and no longer than 2:45 minutes, with non-faded, buttoned endings. Do NOT copy the referenced examples in any way, shape, or form. Use them only as a general guide for tempo, tone, and overall vibe. Do NOT submit any material with unauthorized samples of any other artists’ music, sounds, or any other form of media. Broadcast Quality is needed.

This company offers an EXCLUSIVE deal. You’ll split any upfront sync fees 50/50. They’ll get 100% of the Publisher’s share, and you’ll get 100% of the Writer’s share. You must own or control 100% of your Master and Copyright. Since this is an EXCLUSIVE deal, please be sure the material you submit for this pitch is NOT already signed with any other Libraries or Catalogs. Please submit as many Instrumentals and/or Instrumental Cues as you’d like, online or per CD. All submissions will be screened and critiqued by TAXI. Submissions must be received no later than 11:59 PM (PST) on Saturday, February 19th, 2022. TAXI # S220219BR

[myk247365]

First set the drums much further back in the mix. Also, listen to the timbre of the snare, it's much softer that what you have. And the bass drum is barely audible. Notice how active the bass is versus the guitar strum bed. Your vocal track is almost there, a more gentle performance and a touch more reverb(maybe parallel compression on just the vocal reverb?)

Yours comes across as adult contemporary, but I think with some tweaking you can get it to where you want.

hope this helps,

Michael

[MJLeeman]

First set the drums much further back in the mix. Also, listen to the timbre of the snare, it's much softer that what you have. And the bass drum is barely audible. Notice how active the bass is versus the guitar strum bed. Your vocal track is almost there, a more gentle performance and a touch more reverb(maybe parallel compression on just the vocal reverb?)

Yours comes across as adult contemporary, but I think with some tweaking you can get it to where you want.

hope this helps,

Michael

Thank you, Michael

I will do a remix with your suggestions in mind, though I will have to research and learn about the parallel compression to which you refer. For what it's worth, I used a couple of Waves plug-ins and, in light of your comments, I may have dialled both of these back a little too much from the presets where the settings seemed extreme to my ears. The plug-ins to which I refer are the Waves: 1. Greg Wells VoiceCentric and 2. Lofi Space.

Cheers
Michael

[MJLeeman]

After a break, I re-did this track, so this is the third go, but I chickened out with the lofi description (I used a Waves lofi plugin on the master bus, but only at 1% as anything more seemed to add an unacceptable level of distortion).

I would gratefully receive any and all suggestions, critiques, comments etc. as I am aware that there is much to learn.

Here is a link to the updated song:

https://www.taxi.com/members/nwRU7pygQr ... ---revised

Cheers
Michael

Here are the lyrics:

Going Nowhere
Words and music by Michael Joseph Leeman c. 2022

When I’m alone   
Feeling so far from home 
Without somewhere
To go and recover 
If I could be where 
I would forget all my cares    
That's a place I want to discover
To give me an outcome 
So everything’s clear
And what I’m running away from
Disappears

When you don’t know 
The direction to go 
After trying logic and reason 
You feel love is to blame 
That is always a shame 
As it changes just like the seasons 
We need an outcome 
So everything’s clear 
And what we’re running away from 
Can disappear 

It’s the right time now 
To make that change
And find an easy way to give us 
Time and space to rearrange 

Both of us know 
The direction to go 
It is there in front of us clearly 
And in spite of the pain 
We know that love’s not to blame 
It’s those crazy little things we hold dearly
There will be an outcome 
With both of us here 
I never needed that place at all
I'm going nowhere
....Going nowhere 

[MJLeeman]

Based on the generous advice which I have received on this Peer to Peer forum from time to time, and specifically regarding in this instance, Michael's ( myk247365 ), suggestions above for this particular track,I have come up with the following mix (having started from scratch with the backing tracks/samples). For what it is worth, I have also rearranged the intro so as to make it shorter, and to present a hook up front, rather than waiting until the chorus. This was prompted from some suggestions by, I think, Cosmic Dolphin and Casey H on previous tracks where I sought some guidance/suggestions for improvement. From memory, the advice seemed to be that more than 45 seconds was too late to present the hook. So in this reworked track, I decided on 10 seconds.

Anyway, here's the updated track:

https://www.taxi.com/members/nwRU7pygQr ... d-feb-2023

Although the Taxi listing (as referred to at the start of this thread), has long since expired, has this music improved? What else might I consider? There's always more to learn, and I am grateful to receive any suggestions to improve my chnaces of getting some Taxi forwards.

Cheers
Michael