Help Please!! What should I do with this song?

[SteveKnox]

Appreciation is the key word for anyone who takes time to give this song ("One More Time") a listen.

https://pease-n-cues.sourceaudio.com/tr ... ore%20Time

Musically Yours,
Steve Knox
Nok-Nox Music BMI
615-416-3248

Lyrics:
A hot august night
Seagram's on ice
No kiss good-bye
My baby just left me
Yeah she left me
A midnight surprise
Gotta climb that mountain
To that heartache summit
One more time

One more time
Gotta take that lonesome ride
Ooo drivin' blind
I got raindrops in my eyes

I got faith enough
But this game of love
Sure can get tough
I'll take a little check swing
Ooo waiting for the real thing
A good streak of luck
I gotta climb that mountain
To that heartache summit
One more time

One more time
Gotta take that lonesome ride
Ooo driving blind
I got raindrops in my eyes

One door closes
Another opens
And one hand folds to a royal flush
Sometimes it's just the luck you draw

Gotta take that lonesome ride
Ooo One more time
I got raindrops in my eyes

[SpecialGuestVillain]

Hi, Steve. I would scrap the lyric, or at least weed out all the cliches. The music sounds really computer-y, which I guess is in Vogue now. Think of a strong title, write your vss TO that hook. When you have music where the chorus really pops, maybe do a guitar/ vocal instead of the C3PO route.

That's the best I can think of.

[Candleman]

Hi Steve

The vocals sound country. But the instruments are more R&B/Soul.

So I would either do a country style and keep the vocals, or change the vocals to an Al Green type voice.

Christopher

[Candleman]

Steve,

Regarding clichés: They are fine in a country song. Go country and you will be on target.

Candleman

[SteveKnox]

I do appreciate the review. I guess I do give up at cliche's. Thanks for the listen and comment.

[TommyHaddox]

I think that's some mighty good singing. I agree with posts that the styles of music/groove and vocals conflict a bit.

[AlanHall]

I like the groove, and the feel. It sure sounds like I can relate to the mood. A bit Walter Becker, a bit Maria Muldaur.

One thought: change the word 'she' in the 1st verse to 'they'; now anyone can sing the song. Maybe a soulful female singer would give it a different sense?

respectfully,

[VanderBoegh]

Hey Steve, I sure enjoyed the listen. Mix and levels all sound pretty good to me, though it does sound fairly dated. However, the biggest question I have for you is: what genre do YOU think this song is? I for one certainly can't put a label on it, and that's a bad thing in our line of work.

Oh, and PS, don't - under any circumstances - utilize a fade-out ending!!

~~Matt