Come In Fuh More (Intrumental)

[irwin]

My newest created song (Instrumental), made for a travel show segment. Need feedback badly.
https://soundcloud.com/user-148093629/come-in-fuh-more

[VanderBoegh]

Hey Irwin, I've only got a few seconds, so I'm gonna make this quick, but hopefully others will chime in to help you.

But the one thing I have to advise you of is to take all those sound effects out. Don't replace them with other SFX either, just delete them entirely.

~~Matt

[superblonde]

The keyboard, the loudest instrument, sounds distorted, as if there is too much compression, i.e. the mastering chain is bad.

There doesn't seem to be a song form, so it doesn't seem like an Instrumental. There is no development of the sound. The melody needs to develop. It has a middle section but it is melodically disjointed. Look up how to write a variation on a melodic theme, and "antecedent & consequent" phrases.

[nicorivers]

Hey Irwin,

This track has got some vibe but could probably be honed into something tighter. As superblonde mentioned, there's not really any structure to the track right now and that is the biggest issue. If you are going for an instrumental, I believe that means working in song structure - verse, chorus, bridge, etc. Also, there is no ending. For sync purposes, a button ending is usually required.

In terms of the sounds and mix, I can't tell if the distortion on the key sound is intentional or an issue with the mix. The arrangement is pretty sparse right now and could maybe be filled out. As you fill out your arrangement and structure the track, dynamics will come into play as well. Hope that helps!

[irwin]

Look up how to write a variation on a melodic theme, and "antecedent & consequent" phrases.

I will surely look up on what you made mention of above. Thanks for the input, much appreciated!.

[irwin]

Hey Irwin,

This track has got some vibe but could probably be honed into something tighter. As superblonde mentioned, there's not really any structure to the track right now and that is the biggest issue. If you are going for an instrumental, I believe that means working in song structure - verse, chorus, bridge, etc. Also, there is no ending. For sync purposes, a button ending is usually required.

In terms of the sounds and mix, I can't tell if the distortion on the key sound is intentional or an issue with the mix. The arrangement is pretty sparse right now and could maybe be filled out. As you fill out your arrangement and structure the track, dynamics will come into play as well. Hope that helps!

Your comment I respect and is of help. I am hoping one day I will make a post here and everyone is going to say "Irwin, well done". I am questioning myself.....why can't I get it right. Wow! I'll be working on the things you said. Thank you very much nicorivers.

[irwin]

Hey Irwin, I've only got a few seconds, so I'm gonna make this quick, but hopefully others will chime in to help you.

But the one thing I have to advise you of is to take all those sound effects out. Don't replace them with other SFX either, just delete them entirely.

~~Matt

Hi VanderBoegh, thanks for advice. I also want to thank you for the reply.

Irwin

[CTWF]

I am hoping one day I will make a post here and everyone is going to say "Irwin, well done". I am questioning myself.....why can't I get it right.

Because you have been given the same advice on here for many years over and over again by the same people, but you seem to be stuck for some reason and cannot move out of old production habits.

Sorry for becoming more and more like the Dolphinator (although, I have been absent for essentially half a year), but what is the point in telling you the same thing over and over again? So, communication needs to be more direct and to the point, I think.

Your tracks typically either lack structure and sound random, or there is no hook. Production music is not random and it needs recognizeable melodic parts that invoke the emotion that is needed.

No offence meant! I think you need to radically re-think how you are approaching music.
Tom

P.S.: What is the hook of this present track? Isolate it and post it on here. (How many times have I asked this same question before? )

[Telefunkin]

I am hoping one day I will make a post here and everyone is going to say "Irwin, well done". I am questioning myself.....why can't I get it right.

I'm sure everyone here would be happy for that too. There was a LOT of very helpful advice here that perhaps its worth re-visiting.
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