Any feedback on this return much appreciated

[cosmicdolphin]

Any structure geniuses out there? Casey?

Seems pretty straight foward to me. Sounds like it's in the key of Bb - 4/4 - 85bpm

Intro

Verse1 ( ends with 'throwin' up )

Pre-Chorus ( Then you smiled...get some rest )

Chorus ( I knew I loved ...grey and old )

Refrain - Post Chorus - Hook....whatever you wanna call it ( Just say you won't let go ) x 2

Then it repeats the whole thing: Verse - Pre Chorus - Chorus - refrain

Bridge ( I wanna live...when I needed you most )

Chorus - Refrain x 4

I already knew the refernce track in passing but I didn't think the OP's submission sounded much like it to me. The vibe I got when Knowin' What You See started was more like one of those Johnny Cash songs towards the end of his life when his voice clearly sounded at little older and frailer ( but still emotional ) and not really anythign like James Arthur in either style or delivery.

It also comes across like a less contempary song than the ref track as it doesn't use modern phrasing or language, the cadence is very different as is the subject matter.

I liked the song well enough but when the percussion came in it kinda took me out of it as I don't feel it really fits well with the organic sound of the guitar and vocal so I would strip all that back if you're keeping it for something else.

Overall it felt like an older singer-songwriter track that harks back to more classic times, not an up to date young persons track.

Mark

[rtundo]

Thanks Mark,

Those are very useful comments as I'm at a crossroads.

I have written several songs and am beginning my journey into their production. Taxi is definitely a great tool to accomplish this. Many choices to make (record them as older singer-songwriter, bring in other vocalists and produce around them, collaborate to add other vibes i.e. more modern, other perspectives etc). I'm pretty sure Taxi will help keep a fire under my you know what as I figure all tis out. In the meantime love listening to (and many times in awe of) what other members are releasing. For now I think I'll focus on songs I have written or have kickin' around in my head and eventually try to write for specific requests.

[rrheinsmith]

Much like others I am attaching my first review. My songs are loaded under my profile and they are public. I am learning this market and I am truely way off the mark and would like to understand so I can Improve!

What I like most about this song
Very sweet and timely subject matter! Great story and message!
I think you could improve this song by
Cool tune Richard! I love your story and the timely message it sends, however I wish it were a little more dynamic. I think with a little work and a better presentation this song could be huge!
I returned or forwarded this song because
I am returning this song because it needs some work and will not fit this listing as is. Good luck to you Richard!

What are they looking for when they ask for more dynamic? Presentation?


Additional things I noticed...
(The comments below are just helpful suggestions and NOT necessarily the reason this music was forwarded or returned. Look at the top, right-hand dialog box that says, “I returned or forward this submission because” to see the reason for the Forward or Return.)
Style
• Style/Genre is off target with the listing request. " What I heard in the attached songs were similar to what I submitted" I do not know what was wrong?

• Mood is off target with the listing request "I felt this was a mid tempo piece" Am I off?

• Not contemporary as requested. Somehow I missed contemporary in the write up but, what does that really mean when dealing with Music Supervisors and why is this off?
Composition
• Melody could be stronger. What is meant by this? A greater range of notes, a different key, I mean I see the melody as a melody, what strengthens one?

• Chorus doesn't stand out enough. More flair, More voices, more harmony??

• Lyrics need improvement. This really is confusing, in the above write up it says ery sweet and timely subject matter! Great story and message! What needs improvement? I do not understand.

• Lyrics off target for this request - I go back to what I listened to and what I submitted sound very much in the same catagory.

• Hook(s) requested in Listing not present - I did not see specific requirements for Hooks in the request. What is it I missed?

• Instrumentation not engaging enough - I understand this I think. a subtle change in the instruments at every verse and within the Chorus.
Performance

[cosmicdolphin]

Much like others I am attaching my first review. My songs are loaded under my profile and they are public. I am learning this market and I am truely way off the mark and would like to understand so I can Improve!

Please provide direct links rather than expecting people to search out your profile and guess at which songs they should be listening to .

I would also suggest starting your own thread for this rather than tacking in at the bottom of this one as you'll probably get more folks interest.

[rrheinsmith]

CosmicDolphin,

I appreciate the feedback. https://www.taxi.com/members/6tEUZBqqQW ... ryan-smith
I have started a new thread asking for assistance in the General Hangout forum. You are very much in the know from my perspective so, if you could check things out that would be great. If time is at a premium I understand.

Respectfully,

Rick