Please rate my new Lullaby song

[TLovato]

HI guys,

Looking for some feedback from the community on one of my lullaby songs I just made today. Let me know any comments, suggestions, etc. What ever you have to say, I'm open to hearing it!

https://www.taxi.com/members/PNQZVfSXS0 ... ullaby-v2-

This song was actually a rework of a previous lullaby song I did that was rejected, and I just changed it based off the feedback the screener gave me (which was to just make it more sparse, slower, etc). If you want to hear a comparison, here's the previous version of this same lullaby!

https://www.taxi.com/members/PNQZVfSXS0 ... es-lullaby

Let me know what you guys think! Thanks in advance

[TLovato]

I'm still pretty new to composing so I've just been working on shaping up my old music so I can practice/understand more before going back into submitting to listings.

Here's the listing I submitted the previous version to:

S240829LL

Lots of ORIGINAL CHILDREN'S LULLABY INSTRUMENTALS are needed by an International Music Library with lots of great placements in Film and TV.

Please listen to the following references to get yourself in the general wheelhouse of what this Library needs:

"William's Lullaby" by Soothing Lullabies https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHonM7McVu8

"Go to Sleep" by TinyGrads https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fHhu04_znLE

"CoComelon Lullaby" by CoComelon Lullabies https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFsREvDr4Ls

Please submit ORIGINAL and well-crafted Children's Lullaby Instrumentals with a soft and relaxing vibe and lots of child-friendly sounds! Submissions should have sleep-inducing motifs, gentle sounds, peaceful melodies, relaxing rhythms, and dynamic arrangements with plenty of forward motion and interest throughout. Instrumentation that's in the general wheelhouse of the references will work best, such as mallets, acoustic guitars, pianos, strings, etc. Please make sure any virtual instruments or samples you use are high quality and not dated-sounding.

Your submissions should be roughly 2-4 minutes long, give or take. Non-faded endings will work best. Do NOT copy the referenced music in any way, shape, or form. Use it only as a general guide for tempo, texture, tone, and overall vibe. Do not submit any material with unauthorized samples of other artists’ Songs, sounds, or any other form of media. Broadcast Quality is needed.

**AI ALERT: ** This company does not accept or sign music that has been lyrically or
melodically composed using generative AI, nor does it accept backing
tracks, full instrumental tracks, or lead vocal performances created with AI.

This company offers an EXCLUSIVE deal, so please be sure the Instrumentals you pitch for this opportunity are NOT already signed with any other Companies or Catalogs. Any sync fees will be split 50/50 with the Company. You'll get 100% of the Writer's share, and the Publisher will get 100% of the Publisher's share. You must own or control your Master and Copyright to submit. Please submit as many Instrumentals as you'd like, online or per CD. All submissions will be screened and critiqued by TAXI. Submissions must be received no later than 11:59 PM (PDT) on Thursday, August 29th, 2024. TAXI # S240829LL

[BrentI]

Hey! Nice musical ideas! Good work slowing the tempo. Without knowing all the screener's comments, I personally liked the instrument choices in your first version. The lower chime sound in version two was a little off-putting to me. I would also say that even though you're going for a more sparse sound, it'd be nice if there were a little more development. One idea would be to revisit the instrumentation in version one and try muting some of the instruments in the first A section. Then bring them in for the last A.

It also looked like the requested duration for that listing was two to four minutes. With your first version clocking in at 1:39, that was likely also a reason for the return.

Hope that's helpful!

[TLovato]

With your first version clocking in at 1:39, that was likely also a reason for the return.

Yep that was mentioned in the feedback. Thanks for taking the time to listen and give feedback!

[JimOfferman]

Hey Thomas!

Listening to the new version, I think you could lean even harder into the "music box" vibe by changing the accompaniment to use higher notes (as in a real music box). You would then need to polish the production to a shine to make it into something akin to Remembering Petticoat Lane by John Williams. That has a light underscore, but the glockenspiel could easily stand on its own.

If, on the other hand, your aim is to get a forward on a listing similar to the one you submitted the first version to, then I think you need to dress the song up a little more. Take another listen to the references mentioned and you'll note that they feature more than just a glockenspiel or chimes (but less than your original version). Keep it very light, of course, but well instrumented.

Cheers,
Jim.

[TLovato]

You would then need to polish the production to a shine to make it into something akin to Remembering Petticoat Lane by John Williams. That has a light underscore, but the glockenspiel could easily stand on its own.

If, on the other hand, your aim is to get a forward on a listing similar to the one you submitted the first version to, then I think you need to dress the song up a little more. Take another listen to the references mentioned and you'll note that they feature more than just a glockenspiel or chimes (but less than your original version). Keep it very light, of course, but well instrumented.

Cheers,
Jim.

The production on that track sounds great! Yeah I think I should dress it up a little more as you mentioned

[JimOfferman]

The production on that track sounds great! Yeah I think I should dress it up a little more as you mentioned

Yes, it’s an awesome production. From a little known indie movie, I think…