The melody could be stronger issue...

[WSAO]

Hi folks,

When they say "the melody could be stronger," does that mean the melody isn’t good enough specifically for that listing, or does it suggest the song is just average overall?
I get this kind of feedback occasionally, and it always leaves me feeling like if the screener didn’t like it, then the song just isn’t good—regardless of what my friends or fellow musicians might say.

Listing:
Lots of GRITTY BLUES/ROCK SONGS are needed by a Music Library with a ton of credits in Feature Films, TV Shows, and TV Commercials.

This Company is searching for Songs in the general stylistic wheelhouse of the following references we got directly from the company's CEO:

"Lonely Boy" by The Black Keys

"Killin' floor" by Blues Saraceno

"Little Thing Gone Wild" by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

Please submit original Blues/Rock Songs that capture the gritty, blues-inspired energy and style heard in the references! Your submissions should have aggressive and catchy melodies, memorable choruses, hard-hitting rhythms, great musicianship, and well-crafted lyrics. Blues Rock instrumentation that's in the general stylistic ballpark of the references will work best for this pitch (think fuzz tone guitars, drums, harmonica, bass, etc.). Please ensure your production matches the general style of the references, and please ensure any virtual instruments or samples you use are high-quality and realistic-sounding. Expressive and strong vocal performances are key!

Song:
https://www.taxi.com/members/WJQg0yIBTr ... udo-savior

Feedback:
https://www.taxi.com/members/WJQg0yIBTr ... ARK1QPX3Tw

Thanks!

[cosmicdolphin]

I think it's a good track, well performed and produced and it might well work for a future opportunity.

Regarding the melody..the verse is strong but the chorus doesn't really have such a memorable hook to it...I'm not sure stretching the word " Don't " out at the start of the section helps either.

I guess it's more something to bear in mind for future songs, I wouldn't go changing this one as I'm sure it will find a home eventually.

Mark

[telefunkin]

I'm in agreement with Mark on this. Its a really good track with a great sound and a spirited vocal. However, the vocal line hangs around the tonic and b3 most of the time, and when that continues into the chorus it doesn't draw me in with that extra something that makes me feel compelled to sing along (although the gospel harmonies help). The listing specifically requests "catchy melodies, memorable choruses", so I think you're a little to the wrong side of a fine line. The song has a great chance of being picked up for sync as it stands, but if it was my track I'd be tempted to strengthen that chorus to really make the most of it.

[Casey H]

Hi Andre
Cool sound you got there! Is that you on guitar? Nice!

I agree with everyone. The chorus melody doesn't lift from the verse, sounds like another verse is starting. Keep in mind, though, that the melody issue was not the main reason for the return, it was an additional comment. This song could still work very well for Film/TV scenes and you could most likely get it signed by libraries.

Best,
Casey

[RickElliott]

Right? That guitar slide, just before the first verse sounded like Brian May

[WSAO]

Thanks again, guys!
I agree, tweaking the lyrics a bit to avoid the prolonged "don't" and exploring a different melody away from the B2 key could bring a fresh perspective and help differentiate the chorus.
I’ll give it some thought.

By the way, the guitarist is an old friend of mine—he’s an absolute beast!
Cheers!
Andre

[SubRivers]

It's a good track as is, just a bit off target when compared to an example ala like Lonely Boy.

The melody box tick is down to the same reason, Lonely Boys is a sing along while your track is more hard rock blues.

It's more advice for if you want to get that Black Keys vibe in another track

[GaryShaffer]

Instead of extending the word "don't" (in chorus), one option might be to extend the word "I" (don't need a pseudo savior).

It's a much more open sound than the "o" in "don't," making it easier to sing and extend. This would also set up the title.

Just a thought. Overall very solid tune. Best of luck with it!

[douglasricketts]

Gritty blues: Nailed

Melody: None