Re: Oversung? Love Won't Stick Around / Just Me &

[dgolding]

Hi again. I'll put my 2 cents in on all the songs.Love Won't Stick Around - Could be well worth working on. It has an 'anthem' kind of feel to it. I'd be tempted to bring that out more with the production side of it. The tinkling piano gets a tad irritating after a while. aspecially as the timing is a bit out in places. Think 'Mull of Kintyre', by that newbie named McCartney, and apply some of the flavours of that, and I think it could be beneficial.You'll Find The Way. - Another lighter-waving feel. I'd like to hear more light and shade on the piano, especially as it plays an important role in this, and many of your other songs. It sounds like the touch sensitivity is permanently cranked up to max. I love the piano sound you use, but it seems like your hitting the keys hard with every note.The song builds perfectly. I'd love to hear a choir singing along in the latter parts, we all have a choir at our disposal, right? Symphonic Choirs with the wordbuilder might be worth a try.Shade & Shadow. - There's that wide open piano again. That aside, I loved this song. Vocal harmonies are terrific. Excellent stuff.Just Me And You. - Ahh, no piano I'm of the opinion that the lack of insrtumentation on this track really helps the melody and quality of singing shine through. Its very well sung, and hard to find fault with.Overall, I have to say that I really like your music, and I find myself looking forward to what ever is coming next. You seem to be getting better all the time with production and composition. Now if I could just tweak that piano of yours a bit

[hummingbird]

Quote:There was a listing for expressive, melodic vocal performances in a singer/songwriter style that I am targeting. I tried to loosen up and be a bit more open with my vocals, and I'm wondering if "Love Won't Stick Around" sounds overdone. No need to be polite - does this sound work or is it too sloppy? I plan to add some lyrics to the bridge.Edit - I'm also wondering if the change up an octave in the second verse is too sudden or severe.Hi - finally had a chance to listen to this 'Love Won't Stick Around'. I'm a voice teacher, so I'm going to give my feedback in that context. IMO the beginning of the verse is a bit low, and you sound pitchy because of that. I can't make out what some of the words are. You need to work on clean diction and shaping the vowels more effectively to support the voice effectively there. Nice chord modulations in the verse, and it's nice when you lift up. I find the "gone away" repetition starts to sound like the beginning of the verse-not off pitch, but on the underside of it. The breath needs to flow more and you need to sing more easily. Again, working on good diction and singing clean, clear vowels will help with that. Just imagine all your words are to be framed in a shape no wider or taller than a medium-sized oh. The voice has potential. At the end, there's a little sense of pitchy-ness again-perhaps too breathy there. I think the song itself is quite lovely musically, and the back-up vox sound good too.My prescription is to get a few voice lessons with someone who really knows their stuff. Not someone who is just going to coach you on singing your song, but someone who is actually going to take some time to teach you technique. The voice has potential & it would be worth investing in it.Failing that, sing the song into a mirror and look for more refined movements of the jaw as I said above. Watch your use of the mike - make sure you are standing up, that your shoulders don't lift when you breathe, that you float the voice on the breath as it gently releases from the body, that you sing your vowels with clarity (good shapes). An easy way to give energy to those low parts without pushing the voice is to lift the face like you are smiling (but don't go wide with the shape). Also think iof the phrases as smooth lines and sing the line like a violin would play it (legato).What vowel do we sing in the word "gone"? It's "ah". Say "gah"... say "bah" - the vowel in your "gone" tends to sit where the "g" is (at the back of the throat) - by thinking clearly of "ah" and framing your lips, you bring your "ah" into the 'b' position (from the lips). It pays to take a moment to actually think about the composition of the sounds we are to be singing. When we sing with our speech habits, we can swallow words and the voice loses texture.Watch the placement of the mic. Make sure the head is in a neutral position and you aren't stretching towards the mic.I've listened to this a couple of times, and I really dig the song. It's a good composition and it sounds well-produced. I also think your voice really works in some places. This is my honest feedback on what you need to work on to really sell the song. The lead vocals. Hope you don't mind - as I said, it's obvious that you sould sing this very well if you had a little help understanding how to use the voice effectively. If I could get you in my studio, you'd 'get' what I'm saying in no time.WarmlyHummin'bird

[hummingbird]

I appreciate what you are saying - I too don't always want to sound like an opera singer - but it is my strong opinion that singing with clear diction in the style of the music should be your goal. In other words, instead of swallowing the words, sing cleanly but use the texture of the voice & your musicality to sell the song. In this case I think you've gone too far and muddied up what could be a stellar vocal if it was well supported with breath, shape, legato and forward position. IMO