Rejection - Not as Much Fun as it Sounds

[LongBlackNight]

Ouch! Not entirely unexpected, but not entirely anticipated either. I could use some help understanding the reviewer's comments, please.


Listing as Follows

SAD, PIANO-Based INSTRUMENTALS are needed by a rapidly growing British Music Library. They're looking for Down-to-Mid-Tempo Instrumentals that would fall in the general stylistic ballpark of the following references:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMvCfm_AjYo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3onzY4MNxE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_Am4cHMBKM

Please submit Original, well-performed Piano-Based Instrumentals that evoke a sad, melancholy, and/or somber mood. Instrumentals that stick to one emotion from top to bottom will work best. If your Instrumental is able to underscore somber scenes like funerals, breakups, and other painful life moments, you should be right on target for this request. All submissions should be 2 to 4 minutes long, give or take. Non-Faded endings will work best.

My submission is Drawn: https://longblacknight.com/drawn


Reviewer's Comments

This is good, nice playing and all good ideas, but it's a little long and repetitive and kind of stays in the same place throughout. Everything you have is good, but this lacks a certain developmental arc found in the examples.

Consider trimming this down to about 3 minutes and make sure each section makes a contribution to your theme. Your intro is okay,.. start with one hand, then add the other with the melody, but you can do more with the registers and take more stronger steps and be more aggressive with chordal movement. Build slightly to the end and make sure you have a nice strong cadence resolving to a sustained I chord...


My Befuddlement

What developmental arc is the reviewer talking about? The references have one or two movements each (AB), albeit they do play variations on them (especially Teardrops and Hard to Say Goodbye). Mine has an Intro, Transition, Theme, Alternate Theme, and Close. Is this a case of writing too much into a short piece? Would it have been better to simply work through one movement and play variations on it?

The reviewer also says to "take stronger steps and be more aggressive with chordal movement." This loses me. I don't know what "more aggressive" steps means.

As far as trimming down... true, my piece is almost 4:00 minutes, but the first and third references are longer. Again, I'm thinking maybe I took the wrong tack from the beginning and tried to make a "song" out of it rather than tried to set a mood.

Thank you for your comments and suggestions.

[andygabrys]

quick comments:

......but it's a little long and repetitive...... Consider trimming this down to about 3 minutes.....

listing says 2-4 minutes. Average of 3.

Most production music pieces are at least 1:30 long, and usually over 2 gets you in the zone to satisfy any library.

.....and kind of stays in the same place throughout. Everything you have is good, but this lacks a certain developmental arc found in the examples......

listen again and chart out in shorthand how the chords change vs. how much new melody introduced.

If the refs, if they start in a minor key, do they go to the relative major for the B section? How long is the B section? Does it feel like a departure from the A section or does it feel like the A section is a short intro to a really long B section.


......take more stronger steps and be more aggressive with chordal movement.....

likely meaning no so rubato at the end of every phrase. Some steady tempo sections might help under picture.

There is some rubato phrasing in the refs, but there is a lot of slow measured playing in time.


....Build slightly to the end...

arc - small, build build build build end big.
or like one of the refs
arc - small build build build build, then strings drop out and last section is just piano chords, no melody.

....and make sure you have a nice strong cadence resolving to a sustained I chord.....

Even if the other things are maybe a judgement call - this is one thing that is pretty evident.

Your song starts in Dminor. Ends on Bb right?

So if the song starts in Dmin, that's the tonic or I chord (or i if you prefer).

Ending the song on something other than Dmin is your prerogative and if you listen to production music (which this is) it usually starts and ends in the same place, on the same chord.

It makes it flexible for editing - the picture editor can end the piece anywhere just by chopping the sting / button / fade and sliding it up in the timeline. Done.

Ideas and opinions - hope it helps.

[LongBlackNight]

Thank you, Andy...Will chew on all that and see what I can come up with next time.