Request for Feedback

[dskinner75]

Feedback is requested for a submission I'm working on, for a Funky Blues listing. This track is composed, but not mixed. Before moving on to finish it, I'm thinking about how the composition can be improved, and the different versions I might create. The listing in question calls for instrumentals, so I'm wondering if the nonsense vocal in my track would disqualify it for an instrumental listing.

Thank you all for your time and thoughts.

https://soundcloud.com/davidjackskinner ... ic/s-AKKnq

[SteveBaruah]

Hi David,

Yeah, I would take that vocal out. Vocal shouts, etc. are fine but that is a bit too distracting.
Plus I would cut it down 30 seconds and try to make it build more.
Nice ending.

[andygabrys]

I think Steve had some good ideas.

In addition:

1) I would try to make the A and B sections match a little more instrumentally. If its a cue, and an editor chooses it for the Vibe of the A - and then it shifts to a clean clanky Strat sound panned way left and a different rhythmic feel, they might cut it and use another cue that matches the A section more closely.

2) some kind of intro - like the guitar rhythm with just a kick underneath or similar could work. 2 or 4 bars max.

3) The organ hook at 0:59 is too close to the hook in Gimme Some Lovin by the Spencer Davis Group. I would definitely find something else to use there melodically.

4) the horns in the end section are a little overplayed and it reveals that they are sampled horns. If you want to use those other articulations I would advise going more sparse on their use. Use that horn part as a layer behind the main meat of the cue could help too instead of it being more of a feature part.

[carfo]

Love the track and I also love the vocal, but have to say that I agree with Scott and Andy. Yes, skip the vocal. In my opinion I would like to hear a more progressive build and more dynamics in the structure. Feels a little bit to long as well. Do the cue really need an organ solo? Maybe it's better to break it down into a percussive break, no solo though, just percussion for 4 bars before building it all up again. Just an idea.

Best of luck.