Romantic Pop Demo- How Can I Tell You

[SonicGreenhouse]

Please offer some critique. This is my first submission and I'm hoping for some guidance.
Thanks!
How Can I Tell You

[cassmcentee]

Welcome to the Taxi forum and "Good On Ya" for asking for feedback pre-submitting!
You have obviously written a heartfelt piece, right on!
My advice:
Unless the listing is asking for demo-ish quality recordings this won't pass a "broadcast quality" listing.
I would hold off on submitting your tune, or maybe get a "custom critique" for it.
The guitar has a sharp sound to it where it should be deeper in tone/EQ instead.
You are relying on the "1" of each measure for your chords (stiff) as opposed to performing the song.
Those chords need to be Deep and ring out if you stick with it.
A performance on the guitar would be better where you add a few notes to keep things moving along.
Sort of what you are doing with the piano...
Where the piano has the biggest problem to my ears is that it isn't performing as fluid as it should.
It feels like it is relying on the "1" of each meaure as well and the "walking notes" are stiff.
I feel those parts can be cleaned up with better performances.
I am hearing plenty of Room Hiss in the quiet parts...
Your vocal performance is too pitchy, sorry to say...
Maybe write your vocal line into a Midi file so that you know exactly what notes you are hearing in your head and then record/sing with that in your headphones?
Hope this Helps,
Sincerely,
Cass

[ttully]

Hey Sonicgreenhouse,

Besides all the technical stuff that Cass mentioned..... This seems more country than pop...at least to my ears.


My 1 cent worth,
Tim

[SonicGreenhouse]

Thank you both for your advice. This all makes perfect sense. I truly appreciate you both taking time to comment!

Sincerely,
Floyd Armlin

[SonicGreenhouse]

Thank you Tom!

[cosmicdolphin]

As usual not reading anyone else's comment before I leave mine. You didn't post a Listing so I have no idea what the references are meant to be ?

OK first off the guitar and piano sounds are not great...recording quality is below the required standard here.

Not Pop for sure

Phrasing and playing style are retro / 70s kinda vibe not current

Voice sounds half decent but not in a modern way, not sure about the FX on the voice it sounds w-i-d-er than everything else in the mix..somewhat brittle EQ

Singing goes a bit pitchy at times..fixable

I mean it''s not a bad song if it was produced / arranged / mixed and sang really well but it's a throwback type tune..something I might have heard on the radio circa 1977 and I don't think there are many listings asking for that sort of thing ?

So it depends on the Listing ..If it's a Vintage Listing asking for a retro song then you'd really have to sort out the playing of the guitar and piano to be in with a shout. If it's a contemporary Listing then this wouldn't make it IMHO even if the playing / mix /production were top notch.

Mark

[SonicGreenhouse]

Thank you Mark! I truly appreciate your comments! Glad to have direction.