Song Updated! | Alternative Rock | Speak to Me

[aubreyz]

Perhaps I am going about this the wrong way as my last post has yet to get a response, and I would really appreciate some feedback. I posted a few reviews as well, and will be happy to offer some more opinions, but didn’t want to flood the board. I plan to join Taxi soon, but not until the project is nearer completion.Here’s the scoop. I’ve been a recording engineer for longer than I would like to admit. I currently manage a studio that is part of an ad agency/production facility that services mainly local and international clients. I am fortunate to be able to work with some of the best equipment available, as well as have the privilege of making a living by composing and producing original music and jingles. For a number of years, I have tabled any personal artistic endeavors. That has now changed, and I am working toward an album with every available spare moment. The songs are written, and then some (I have way too many tunes). So I am spitting out rough demos to see which ones work, need work, or need to go away. There are no live session players yet, and the vocals are just scratch, but should at least give an idea of where the tunes are headed. As far as production quality goes, I have to produce broadcast masters all the time, so I know that game. The final mixes will be up to industry standards (or at least as good as I can mix/master). I’ve discovered that I’m not the best judge of my own material. It’s hard to be objective about something that means so much. I’m seeking input in the following areas:1. Songwriting and Arrangement2. Vocal artist potential3. Genre and market opinions4. Commercial viabilityBe brutal. I can take it. What I lack in talent I make up for in ego Here’s the latest rough mix. Speak to MeFor convenience I’ve posted the lyrics below. Thanks in advance for your time.AubreySpeak to MeVs1 Solitary confinement On a crowded city street The high cost of freedom Could not afford him a place to sleep He wakes up every morning Under the cover of the daily news He doesn’t owe the piper But he can’t seem to pay his dues He wanted to come home a hero But there was no parade He spends his day trying to figure out What mistake he madeChorus And he says speak to meIf there’s anybody out thereReach for meDoes anybody really careI’m tired of talking to myselfI want to hear somebody elseSpeak to meIs there anybody out thereVs 2 Across the street in a high-rise A silk suit, dressed to kill He climbed the corporate ladder Now there’s nobody’s shoes to fill He’s got all he ever wanted Satisfaction should be guaranteed He wonders what could be missing As he stares down at the street There’s that bum in the alley Rummaging again today Maybe they’re not so different Searching in a different wayRepeat ChorusBridge Could it be we’re all the same Known by a different name Could it be there’s only one Cogito ergo sum I think therefore I am Or am I because I think I am Could I be as lonely as I feel Or is loneliness the only thing that’s realChorus Speak to meIf there’s anybody out thereReach for meDoes anybody really careI’m tired of talking to myselfI want to hear somebody elseSpeak to meIs there anybody out thereCopyright 2006 by Aubrey ZAll Rights Reserved

[rockmann]

Aubrey,I must have missed your other post... I just listened to this (and it's playing for the second time while I type). It's very cool. Very unique! It's really getting to me.The music is great. Very moody and image provoking. I was a bit worried about the vocals in the beginning. The falsetto stuff seemed to be pretty 'pitchy'. However, it's possible that was the intended effect? Starting with the second time thru the chorus, the vocals really take off. Great harmonies.... lot's of power in the voice. Much better at this point and really end on fire.The lyrics are great. I love the line, "I’m tired of talking to myself,I want to hear somebody else". That just makes me think. Very thought provoking.Marketability? Dunno... I'm probably not the best person to offer that kind of critique. I doubt it would be on 'Mix109' or any other pop station, but I can certainly see this as part of a soundtrack for a movie. I can damn near picture a move based on this song. I tend to watch some pretty off-beat movies occasionally. I really picture this song in something like that. One movie that comes to mind, is "Requiem for a Dream". I could see this song it that type of movie.I for one would LOVE to hear this completed. Great promise on this tune.

[aubreyz]

Quote:Aubrey,I must have missed your other post... I just listened to this (and it's playing for the second time while I type). It's very cool. Very unique! It's really getting to me.The music is great. Very moody and image provoking. I was a bit worried about the vocals in the beginning. The falsetto stuff seemed to be pretty 'pitchy'. However, it's possible that was the intended effect? Starting with the second time thru the chorus, the vocals really take off. Great harmonies.... lot's of power in the voice. Much better at this point and really end on fire.The lyrics are great. I love the line, "I’m tired of talking to myself,I want to hear somebody else". That just makes me think. Very thought provoking.Marketability? Dunno... I'm probably not the best person to offer that kind of critique. I doubt it would be on 'Mix109' or any other pop station, but I can certainly see this as part of a soundtrack for a movie. I can damn near picture a move based on this song. I tend to watch some pretty off-beat movies occasionally. I really picture this song in something like that. One movie that comes to mind, is "Requiem for a Dream". I could see this song it that type of movie.I for one would LOVE to hear this completed. Great promise on this tune.Thanks for the feedback. The falsetto at the beginning will have to be dead on (which I DIDN'T nail on the scratch) to work. I really want that odd, moody atmosphere in the beginning, but it will have to GRAB you, and it doesn't right now. It will... or it will go away.Thanks for responding. I value your input.

[kagedgurl]

First of all, kudo's on the track! It is incredibly moody and very much so sets you up for an emotional lyric, which you give.Your skills as an arranger/engineer truly are shining on this. I can also, like the previous review, see this as a tv/movie track. Have you tried any just straight up instrumental submissions for the reqests for movie or tv stuff? I really do think you have a talent for that and should pursue it.Now, for my --opinion-- on what you wanted. (and yes, this is the opinion of a consumer, not a professional reviewer...I get that. )1- Songwriting and Arrangement- I think the arrangement is really great for the moody feel you're trying to accomplish. I will say that I -feel- like it doesn't have enough of a change up and feels a bit lengthy. I, as a listener, felt like the melody and track was too much of the same "pattern", you could say. Now in saying that, I'm not speaking of the piano structure. I love the way the instruments are arranged and playd. What I'm refering to is the chord structure of the song. It just "feels" repetitve, but that is perfect for any kind of soundtrack you would want for a movie or tv submission. ...my opinion. 2- Vocal artist potential- I truly thought, for a moment, that the singer was that guy from Spandau Ballet. I think this style is so close to matching what they did on the 1983 hit "True", it took me off guard for a moment. Now, don't get me wrong, I totally love that song and crank it every time it comes on the radio cause it takes me back! (I'm 33) lol... But, in my opinion, I feel like the vocal is a bit dated and needs a shot of "today". As a consumer, I don't know that I would purchase even a polished version of this vocalist in this style. Maybe something different? I would love to hear more ideas. 3- Genre and market opinions- I happen to listen to a very wide range of music, so you're getting the opinion of someone with diverse preferences.Having said that, I think it's a good shot at what you're aiming at. If I were to look at this from the marketability perspective, I would have to say that it sounds most like the kinda thing that came from Sneaker Pimps on their 1996 album, "Becoming X". (I wore that project out and had to buy another cd to replace the first one..lol)A lot of their stuff was used in different movie soundtracks. It was good stuff. Now, I didn't hear a ton of it in the clubs and I don't think I can ever recall a time that I've heard a single tune of theirs on the radio. But I know they have a loyal underground following. This song could easily have been on that "Becoming X" project, in my opinion. But again, that was 10 years ago... Not sure about the marketability of this kinda stuff in todays market.4- Commercial viability- I think that I probably answered this one in the answer to number 3...lol. But, if I haven't driven home the point...I think this would TOTALLY be suited for soundtracks. That new "Blade" tv series that is on cable? -fit... Just very moody, weird coolness. It would have worked for the Angel series or any of "those kinds" of shows as well.In summary, I guess I would love to see this updated a bit. I love this kind of music and would like to see more of it put out. I also feel like it's a bit long. I think major labels would want it shortened a LOT if they were going to allow it on a project. My opinion though... Good luck with it and I hope my naked consumer honesty helps! KagedGurl

[aubreyz]

kagedgirl,Thanks SO much for your detailed response. I sincerely appreciate it! Though the Spandau Ballet thing is going to keep me up at night...LOLbtw- I do write the kind of stuff you mentioned. If interested, here's a sample of an orchestration I did for a film in pre-production. March of the BellsFunny thing about the dated vocal opinion. Though I see your point, and may even agree, there seems to be a line in the sand about how this particular tune is perceived. Pre 20's have commented that it sounds like Radiohead and very current. 30+ seems to think it sounds older, Pink Floydish. Interesting. The falsetto stuff is really out of the box for me. May need to be a "lock box".The instrumentation is very static now. Needs a lot of variance. I think that might help the "sameness" feeling. Tempo also might need to come up a bit as well. One thing that your post has helped me determine for sure - there will be live musicians on this track. Sneaker Pimps is not at all the vibe I'm shooting for, but I can see now how you might get that "as is" Thanks again for your helpful input. I would appreciate a quick listen to Freeze Me It's a bit techno now too instrumentally, but I would like to hear your impression of the vocals.

[opensky]

I really like a lot of the ideas you have here. I like the way the song moves as it kind of slithers and strains and then breaks into a masterful chorus that's truly satisfying. I think the key here, is identifying the genre while defining the overall arrangement and direction of the song. I can see how the younger set can view this as a "radio head" type song. However, i think one of the keys of their success is their "band approach." I can also see how this could be a Pink floyd type anthem for the older generation and i can also hear how this could be turned into a Coldplay type song as well which might be your best bet, sort of middle ground if you want to pursue this as a commercial venture. Another angle you may wish to pursue if you want to go the "younger set," is giving this an emo-flavor such as Waking Ashland which features more of a keyboard driven emo sound that would be compatible to what you are doing. Also, they are very close lyrically. I hope this helps a little. Blessings,Steve

[aubreyz]

There is a new mix of Speak To Me posted. This one is much closer to what the final version will be. Guitars, effects, percussion elements and even a few church bells are now added. Still to come, the scratch vocals will be replaced, the mix will be tightened up, and a few more sfx will be incorporated. But for now, I'm moving on to another track.Thanks for all the input so far. I hope you enjoy this updated version -- and I welcome any input you might could offer.Speak To Me

[rockmann]

Nice touches. I like what sounds to be tympani in the verse. And the church bells fit great. It's definitely got a more 'polished' sound. A more complete sound. You've added more strings/synth too, eh?It's all even more image conjuring than before. Nice job.

[kagedgurl]

Love the direction you're taking this one. I can't WAIT to hear finished vocals! How long is this song btw?

[aubreyz]

Quote:Love the direction you're taking this one. I can't WAIT to hear finished vocals! How long is this song btw?Thanks... the whole project is shifting a little harder edge, so I've tabled this tune for now and will hopefully make it fit with the other tracks without losing some of the character. So it may be a while (few eeks) before I recut vocals.The track is about 5:20. Too long for mainstream, but that's not really the market anyway.Thanks again,Aubrey