Sreener455 You'll never be a Savior

[SusanAnnNorberg]

Hello screener 455

I just saw the feedback on my song "You'll Never Be A Savior". Can I explain the first verse and how it actually is the set up for the entire song. It starts with I know your Chetan with the likes of Magdalene. The biblical reference to an adulterous who was being stoned by men. Jesus stops them and says to them "let he among you who has never sinned cast the first stone" hence the reference to the stoning at the end of the first verse where the singer says "you'd better be duckin, cause I'll be castin stones".

I just wanted to touch base in hopes that it might clarify the one thing that seems to be stopping it from being forwarded.

(I'm keeping my fingers crossed)

I hope this helps in showing that the first verse is the set up to the entire song ...verses and choruses.

Thank you so much for listening.

Sue

video w/lyrics

https://youtu.be/mrl4rr5VTlA

[Casey H]

Hi Susan
I love this song, the production, and vocal! Awesome! I can't really comment unless you post the listing text (copy/paste, not a link!) and the complete screener feedback. As great as this song is, it's *possible* for Film/TV, there are too many specific religious references. Maybe you need a toned down version to that regard. Again, I'd like to see the listing and the feedback.

It's a killer song!

Best,
Casey

[SusanAnnNorberg]

What I like most about this song
Hi Susan. This is an interesting song idea. I like the hook and direction.

I think you could improve this song by
The Magdalene reference in the first verse is clever since your chorus is providing all of the God references, but I think you need to have more instances of that in the first verse to set up this chorus. I had to go back and think on it because the Bible references seemed to come out of nowhere on the first listen. I went back and then realized "oh, she said Magdalene". I think if you had more there, then the chorus would make total sense on the first listen.

I returned or forwarded this song because
I think this lyric needs a little more development in the verses to help set up the chorus.

[SusanAnnNorberg]

Since this is going to a country singer, I don't think the biblical references will go wasted. A lot of that country music is skewed towards religion. Right?

[SusanAnnNorberg]

It's listing number S230204 WT

[Casey H]

It's listing number S230204 WT

Just so you know, once a listing has expired, it's hard for others to find it and the link you have will only work for you. I was able to find it:

MODERN, HIT-WORTHY COUNTRY SONGS with Female Vocals are needed for a Multi-Platinum selling Country Artist! All Forwards from TAXI will go directly to a well-connected Nashville Publisher with an impressive track record and an open door with this awesome artist...

That's all I needed to read. Those are key words that the bar for this listing is high as the sky. The slightest nit and it won't get forwarded. Songs have to be perfect for those type of pitches as they are the most competitive out there. Have you considered pitching for Film/TV?

Best,
Casey

[SusanAnnNorberg]

It might be too specific for TV/movie. Maybe if I'm lucky I can make it onto one of those compilation listings

[Casey H]

It might be too specific for TV/movie. Maybe if I'm lucky I can make it onto one of those compilation listings

You could write a different version of the lyrics to pitch the song for Film/TV. The music, vocal, production, and vibe are fantastic and would work well.

[SusanAnnNorberg]

If I make changes to the song lyrically or otherwise, will that cause problems with the copyright?

[Casey H]

If I make changes to the song lyrically or otherwise, will that cause problems with the copyright?

If you filed a copyright, you can file a derivative copyright for the one with different lyrics.

I sent you a PM a few days back. Get in touch if you want to talk more!