Staring Out The Window (UPDATE)

[audiorayne]

Hi everyone,Well, I survived past few crazy weeks, and finally sent off this demo last week to the music library that requested more material. I just got a reply from them, and I'm sad to report, it was a pass. Oh well, gotta keep moving forward - I did my absolute best and learned a lot in the process! Time to make more music, and start responding to some more listings!Figured I'd send links to the songs. If anyone would like to make any comments I'd love to hear them!"Staring Out The Window (What Is Love?)"http://www.taximusic.com/song.php?song_ ... true"Where You Are" (revised for 2008)http://www.taximusic.com/song.php?song_ ... true"First Dream" (a few tweaks, and, thanks to my recently acquired Autotune plug-in, vocal tuning)http://www.taximusic.com/song.php? song_id=93788&stream=true"Nowhere" (a few tweaks, previously titled “Joke”)http://www.taximusic.com/song.php?song_ ... trueCheers, -AR

[questor]

Quote:Hi everyone,Well, I survived past few crazy weeks, and finally sent off this demo last week to the music library that requested more material. I just got a reply from them, and I'm sad to report, it was a pass. Regardless of what one Music Library thinks, this song is DEFINATELY a keeper. IMHO

[audiorayne]

Quote:Regardless of what one Music Library thinks, this song is DEFINATELY a keeper. IMHO Thanks questor! It's good to get a thumbs up! -AR

[questor]

Quote:- I think the point of critiquing is to focus on what could be better, so keep the comments coming if you have ‘em! I also don’t mind being compared with Nickelback. Too bad they write their own music and use mostly heavy guitars. Curses!Cheers,-AROkay, with the above in mind I am gonna throw out my opinion of one part of this great song that I think is the weakest link in the chain of the melody. I am not trying to be overly critical, because this is probably just me....however, maybe the artist or others here have thought something similar, so maybe there will be a (partial) consensus or maybe it will just be me...Anyway, this section seems to start off good, but then the melody gets choppy nears the end, choppy meaning it doesn't quitre flow like the rest of the song...What is faith for you?You had my trustBut now I’m staring asYou walk away from us What is fear for me?You took my loveI’m sorry that I brokeIt’s what I feared the mostI mean, I like this section, it breaks up the song nicely, but those last couple of line (especially the underlined words) seem to lose the flow (sort of like they are awkward in some respect).Anyway, it's just my two cents. The whole song (including this section) is very nice...I am just trying to focus in on what I think could be stronger. Again, this song is a keeper. I have listened to it many times already. Also, I am new here, so you can easily chalk up my critique to me not knowing what I am talking about.

[geo]

Quote:Hi All,I wish you would have loved me the sameBut I’m staring out the window againI’m searching for someone who loves me for meAnd not for what I can changeSo I’m staring out the windowNice changes, I'm really loving this song. It seems a touch busy (lyrically) though.I like the above part, really nice I would suggest using the "So I'm staring out the window" each time this passage is used and put a small break after it before the next verse (2 or 4 bars). It will break up the song a bit and again help the hook stand out... good job, GeoP.S. Played it for the wife, she liked it as well.

[audiorayne]

Wow, I messed this reply up! (Apparently I've forgotten how to work teh internets ) See next post...

[audiorayne]

Quote:Also, I am new here, so you can easily chalk up my critique to me not knowing what I am talking about. Just because you're new on the forum doesn't mean you know squat about music! I appreciate your thoughts! Sometimes it takes a good set of outside ears (whether they've made 2 posts, or 2000) to pick out things that never would have crossed my mind.. which is the case here. I've read a few times that after being mired in a mix it's good to take a couple weeks away from it to give yourself some perspective before jumping back in. I haven't quite hit the two week mark yet but when I do I'll be able to make some objective and useful fixes to this beast. Thanks again!Cheers,-ARP.S. Geo - I'm thrilled to hear that your wife liked it too!