"Telephone Call from Tuscany"

jchitty · Post by **jchitty** » Fri Dec 28, 2007 7:53 am

I always struggle with being too ecclectic....and I'm not so sure that it's a good thing when it comes to writing country music. Lately, I've been getting a lot of comments from screeners which say 'this is too alternative or unique' for country listings. Yet, since I'm from the South, my melody lines tend to be country. I wrote this song that has a pretty nice melody, and this is one song I want to have demoed, but I wonder if it would go over well as a country song even though it makes references to 'Bama. If anyone has the time, could you give me comment about what you think the odds of a song like this would be for getting a country foward, or do you think this is too 'out there' for country? I wish I had a rough demo made of the song so you could hear the melody...I think it works with this one, although you never know. Lord, I need all the help I can get.Telephone Call From TuscanyOh, I've always been a country girl'Bama is my homeBut every now and thenI get the urge to roamSo I wound up here in ItalyIn a little Tuscan townBut no matter where I goYou're all aroundChorus:So here's a telephone call from TuscanyI'm just hopin' you'll be waiting on the other lineTo catch this telephone call from TuscanyOh, I'm wishing you were here by my sideVerse 2Italy's great in summerThe poppies are in bloomThe olives are ready for pressing And the grapes are a purple hueOh, I'm headed off to FlorenceI'll take a picture of IL DuomoI wish that you could see what I seeThere back homeChorus:So here's a telephone call from TuscanyI'm just hopin' you'll be waiting on the other lineTo catch this telephone call from TuscanyOh, I'm wishing you were here by my side(instrumental break)Repeat chorus and then fade

lopc · Post by **lopc** » Tue Jan 01, 2008 10:55 am

Hi Chits. Nice flow to the piece. It's a good story with very good potential. I kinda get a feel for the melody. For what it's worth, and this is my thought, I think the chorus doesn't necessarily support the song as well as it should. Seems like this country girl is really missing someone back home, and wants to share a once in a lifetime experience with him. Kick it up a notch to show how much. Perhaps a little stronger intent in the chorus:A ticket’s waiting at the airport to ItalySay that you’ll be packing before I get off the lineMeet you when you get off the plane in TuscanyThe worlds too big without you by my sideOne more observation if I haven't already overstepped my bounds, make the 1st verse reflect that she's never been out of Alabama and maybe give an insight as to why and how she decided to travel. Yeah, we both know it is no small task, but that is what we do as writers. May seem like a small thing, but there is definitely a story here that can be told in a manner that will make people want more. Good luck.

ginstl · Post by **ginstl** » Tue Jan 01, 2008 5:23 pm

Hey Chits, I hate to say it but I don't think the Cowboy mentality relates to Italy very well. It's too far from the barnyard. Using a TV commercial about hotsauce I once saw: A bunch of good ole boys are eating a meal with hotsauce on their food and one of them asks: "where's this stuff made?" and someone say's New York City! and they all freak out and become alienated from the hot sauce. I could be wrong but that's my 2 cents.Greg.

twilsbach · Post by **twilsbach** » Wed Jan 02, 2008 6:30 am

Greg,You're totally wrong.It was salsa. Quote:Using a TV commercial about hotsauce I once saw: A bunch of good ole boys are eating a meal with hotsauce on their food and one of them asks: "where's this stuff made?" and someone say's New York City! and they all freak out and become alienated from the hot sauce. I could be wrong but that's my 2 cents.Greg.

ginstl · Post by **ginstl** » Wed Jan 02, 2008 8:01 am

Quote:Greg,You're totally wrong.It was salsa. Quote:Using a TV commercial about hotsauce I once saw: A bunch of good ole boys are eating a meal with hotsauce on their food and one of them asks: "where's this stuff made?" and someone say's New York City! and they all freak out and become alienated from the hot sauce. I could be wrong but that's my 2 cents.Greg.I stand totally corrected.Greg.

lopc · Post by **lopc** » Wed Jan 02, 2008 2:48 pm

Definitely an arguable point. Historically, country songs tend to not stray past Mexico. Maybe a couple made it as far as the Carribean. However, I'm certain that there are people that find comfort in pictures of far away places they've never been, even if on a calendar hanging in the barn where they are milking the cows at 4am. Heck, some might even find comfort in pictures painted by the written word of these places. You paint a pretty picture in your verses with the exception of the 1st. Then again, the 1st verse isn't the place to paint the pictures that form the story, it's the place to make people buy the calendar. It's the big cover that forces them to turn the pages. That's why I think it needs solid definition. Regardless, you ain't gonna pull it off in the country arena without a strong intro into a strong chorus. That's where "The world is too big without you by my side" fits. Just because country music purchasers haven't been exposed to visions of fantastic places in this world doesn't mean they don't want to go. Take us there. Personally, I don't eat that crap they call salsa bottled up in a jar you buy in the store, I don't care where it's from. I make my own. Got the recipe from a friend in Italy, and added the kick. You got a song here, it just isn't finished. Paint the thing.

jchitty · Post by **jchitty** » Wed Jan 02, 2008 4:06 pm

Hmm, didn't think this thread had any life to it, thanks so much for your comments, guys!You know what, LOPC....I really like your chorus! I do think it stands out better than mine. I like what you've done. On thinking about this further though, this may not be a demo that I want to do because it's so hard to peg this particular song to any genre. It's just too ecclectic, I guess.Greg/Ginstl, well, yes....I agree with you somewhat. There's something to be said for what you say....the demographic who appreciates country might not be able to relate to this one. I know some Southerners have been to Italy, but most of them just ain't gonna get the "Il Duomo' reference.

jchitty · Post by **jchitty** » Wed Jan 02, 2008 4:09 pm

Quote:Greg,You're totally wrong.It was salsa. Quote:Using a TV commercial about hotsauce I once saw: A bunch of good ole boys are eating a meal with hotsauce on their food and one of them asks: "where's this stuff made?" and someone say's New York City! and they all freak out and become alienated from the hot sauce. I could be wrong but that's my 2 cents.Greg.I thought it was Pace picante sauce? Or is that the same thing? You can tell I'm not from Texas.

Casey H · Post by **Casey H** » Wed Jan 02, 2008 5:19 pm

Nice pic Chits! I like the lyrics... Without hearing the music I really can't say but at first glance it looks like singing the words, "Telephone Call from Tuscany", would be tough. Seems like a mouthful... But if you have it with music in your head and it sings well, then great!Very nice lyrics, as always... Casey

paults · Post by **paults** » Wed Jan 02, 2008 5:28 pm

How about "Phone call from Firenze"? Its a Tuscan town, and the chorus might be easier to sing.

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