The Dark District Needs Some Love

[ocean]

Hi!

I was told I should try my luck here in an attempt to get some help to improve returned tracks.
"The Dark District" was sent to this listing: https://www.taxi.com/listings/D220918LL

It can be listened to here: https://www.taxi.com/members/ZXDx85_6Qn ... k-district

But it was returned with this feedback:

"What I like most about this song:
I like the sounds you used for this and the structure could work.

I think you could improve this song by:
I think I'm missing some kind of climax, and the middle section could be more interesting. It's a little repetitive at the moment. I'm also looking for the motif.

I returned or forwarded this song because:
I think with a few adjustments this could work. It's close."

I am not sure what to make of it, or how to improve it with my lacking skills. I am sure it could find its place somewhere with a little work, although I don't know where.

Thank you for taking the time.

[irthlingz]

Folks who don't have dispatch can't access the listing. It would be best if you include the whole listing, with working reference links, in your post.

[CTWF]

"The Dark District" was sent to this listing: https://www.taxi.com/listings/D220918LL

It can be listened to here: https://www.taxi.com/members/ZXDx85_6Qn ... k-district

Link and listing don't work for me as (currently) a non-TAXI member.

Tom

[ocean]

Folks who don't have dispatch can't access the listing. It would be best if you include the whole listing, with working reference links, in your post.

Well, darn it. I assumed everyone would have access to peruse the listings, seems like it would be good for business.

LINK TO TRACK: https://odysee.com/@ocean-music:5/Forlo ... SL9Mdxf65i

EDIT: Wrong link. This is correct: https://on.soundcloud.com/dgqJQ
LISTING:

DARK, MOODY, TRAILER-Style INSTRUMENTALS are needed by a hard-working Music Library that’s always hustling and landing placements for TAXI members in TV Shows, Film projects, and Movie Trailers!

This Library is searching for Instrumentals in the general stylistic ballpark of the following references we got directly from them:

"There Is Still Time" by Lorn https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Npv-R2Iret8

Border Trailer https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2rsXR4cjrw

Although one of the references does not have a Trailer-style structure and one has vocals, please submit Trailer-style Instrumentals only for this request.

IMPORTANT info from the Company: "It’s the moody, dark, grimy, Lorn-like vibe we’re after, not necessarily an electronic beat. The film will be marketed as a thriller with almost horror-like moments."

Please submit top-notch Trailer-style Instrumentals that capture the dark and ominous vibe of the references. Your submission should predominantly feature moody Lorn-styled synths and electronic instrumentation that slowly build and increase in tension as the piece progresses. Including some additional instrumentation and elements (like Sound Design) to ramp up the ending are fine to include, as well. Please be sure your production and any virtual instruments or samples you use are high-quality and in the ballpark of the references.

NOTE: While this style of Trailer music is not bombastic and epic, a subtler approach to the 3 "act" trailer-style structure is recommended to give your pieces dynamics, forward motion, and interest.

Your submissions should be about 2-and-a-half minutes long, give or take. Non-faded, buttoned/stinger endings will work best. Please do NOT copy the referenced examples in any way, shape, or form. Use them only as a general guide for tempo, texture, tone, and overall vibe. Broadcast Quality is needed.

This Library offers a NON-EXCLUSIVE, 50/50 Deal. You’ll get 50% of any sync fees and 100% of the Writer’s share. The Publisher will get 50% of sync fees and 100% of the Publisher’s Share. You’ll keep 100% of the original copyright and master recording. You must own or control the Master and Copyright to submit to this pitch. Please submit as many Instrumentals as you’d like, online or per CD. Time permitting, someone from the Music Library may screen some or all of the submissions. Submissions must be received no later than 11:59 PM (PDT) on Sunday, September 18th, 2022. TAXI Dispatch # D220918LL

[CTWF]

Not a trailer expert, but I agree with the critique. I think especially between 1:00 and 1:20 it would have had to build much more, maybe also with a driving beat and a clear melodic motiv, and then push it to the climax between 1:20 and 1:40. As is, it stays too close to a drone.

As I said, no trailer expert whatsoever, but I am sure one of them will chip in, soon.

Tom

[Telefunkin]

I assumed everyone would have access to peruse the listings

...but your link takes us to the whole set of current listings, not that specific one. Also, once a listing has expired it disappears from the set of live listings.

Just another suggestion ... when including the listing you might also include the refs as links rather than just text, otherwise folk have to go hunting for them.

From the listing, the things that stand out to me are....

DARK, MOODY, TRAILER-Style INSTRUMENTALS
1- instrumentals only... top-notch
2- moody, dark, grimy, ominous thriller with almost horror-like moments
3- Lorn-like vibe, moody Lorn-styled synths and electronic instrumentation
4- slowly build and increase in tension as piece progresses.
5- Including some additional instrumentation and elements (like Sound Design) to ramp up the ending
6- Trailer-style, 3 "act" trailer-style structure recommended to give dynamics, forward motion, interest.
7- not bombastic and epic, a subtler approach
8- ensure production and virtual instruments or samples are high-quality and in ballpark of refs.
9- about 2-and-a-half minutes long, give or take. Non-faded, buttoned/stinger endings

The Lorn ref (if I found the right one) is short and doesn't go far in terms of development and is also not trailer 3 act structure. Therefore, I'd say its more of a guide to the sonic qualities but not structure. It does have a repeating motif, and although the listing doesn't specifically ask for that, it seems to be one of the things the screener was looking for.

Did the track hit the points 1-9 that I extracted from the listing? IMHO it doesn't quite make it on points 4 (building tension), 5 (ramp to ending), 6 (3 act structure with forward motion). On points 4 and 6, it feels like the sections are fairly static rather than developing, and the final section is an anti-climax, instead of subtly ramping to an ending. For this particular listing it seems like the motif would have helped (according to the screener), but that might not be important for other listings.

Just my opinions as another trailer non-expert, but I hope something here helps.

[ocean]

Just my opinions as another trailer non-expert, but I hope something here helps.

I've edited the post according to your suggestions. My apologies for making this harder than it needs to be.

Thanks for the feedback. Very valuable, it does underline my persistent problems with creating dynamics. And I agree.
I thought that since these weren't "traditional" trailer style requests I'd actually have a chance. Got some work to do still on those points.
Thanks again!

[AlanHall]

To 'pile on' a bit, I'd say the screener was definitely listening for a 3-act trailer. Following that form would help to lead you to create a piece with the requisite build, sectional development and motivic interest.
I like your sound (design) elements, good choices for a submission such as this. My suggestion is to re-use these good elements, and work them into a form of your choice. If you don't already know, there are a few (probably quite a few, I've only scratched the surface!) Taxi TV episodes about formal considerations from AAA form to Trailer as well as others. Good luck!
Alan