"Time for me to go" Country theme

[glender]

My first attempt at Country, a little feedback would be helpful I'm not looking for specific feedback, just tell me what your over all impression is. Thanks

http://www.myspace.com/glendersongs
http://taxi.com/glender


Time For Me To Go


(Intro/Chorus)

I can feel it in my heart
It’s running through my soul
I guess that means it’s
Time for me to go

(Verse 1)
I remember our first date
I took you to the Golden Gate
We had our first kiss underneath the bridge
Spent the summer at the beach
I told you all the dreams I’d reach
And you told me about your little kids

(Verse 2)
I’d have to put my dreams on hold
For after all we’re growing old
I’m gonna go out and find a real job
A wife and a small family
Would finally make a man of me
But you know I don’t regret it
You were the best thing to come along

(Pre Chorus 1)
And in the end it lasted fifteen years
Two kids in love, nothing on our hands but time
The good times bad times,
It’s all water beneath the bridge
I’ll try to write a song about it
I hope it’s not a crime

(Chorus)
I hope it’s not a crime
I hope it’s not a crime
Cause I can feel it in my heart
It’s running through my soul
I guess that means it’s
Time for me to go…

(Verse 3)
So now you go out and find yourself
A better man
Be careful of a bike
With a broken wheel
And as for me I don’t
Profess to have a plan
Maybe I’ll find another love
Whose kisses I don’t have to steal

(Pre-Chorus 2)
So let’s make this the last time I apologize
For everything I say and do
And if I ever find the words
That express the way I feel
I’ll write it all down in a song
Dedicate the whole damn thing to you

(Chorus)
But I hope it’s not a crime
I hope it’s not a crime
Cause I can feel it in my heart
It’s running through my soul
I guess that means it’s
Time for me to go…

(Ending Chorus)
I hope it’s not a crime
I hope it’s not a crime
I hope it’s not a crime
I hope it’s not a crime
Cause I can feel it in my heart
it’s running through my soul
I guess that means it’s time for me to go

[marcblack30]

Link is not working

[glender]

n/a

[Lazyknife]

Good job! The production is very good. The vocal sounds very country to me.

The only thing I would change is this section of the lyrics

"
I hope it’s not a crime

(Chorus)
I hope it’s not a crime
I hope it’s not a crime
"
That sentence at the end of that verse is maybe one to often. But, what do I know about country

[nylyrics]

I like it as a general impression. The one thing i would say is the chorus hook - could come sooner again than it does
after the verse and build. Maybe shorten the verses.

[glender]

Comments have been noted, Thanks so far

[eeoo]

Sounds pro to me but I'm not a mainstream country guy...It's kinda got a dual hook with the "I hope it's not a crime" line repeated alot and "I guess that means it's time for me to go" as a tag. Don't know if that's a problem, just an observation. eo.

[deantaylor]

Hey Glender,

My overall impression:

Production: Excellent .. Sounds really good, love the vocalist

Songwriting: Pretty good .. good potential, needs some re-writing if you want to pitch it to artists

Dean

[bucyboy]

Good quality demo but like Dean said, it needs some rewriting. I personally think it needs to change melody right after the first verse. Right after "you told me about your little kids", cut to the melody used in, "and in the end it lasted 15 years". I think it could also use a stronger hook/lines than, "I hope it's not a crime" and "Time for me to go".

With some reworking of the melody and lyric this could be a good song. (IMHO) Best of luck,

Buc

[glender]

Thanks guys, Industry professionals are telling me the same thing. They think I should collaborate with a Nashville songwriter and tweak it a little more, but the general consensus is that it's pretty close.