TRAP listing return D190214CT

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daneholmesmusic
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TRAP listing return D190214CT

Post by daneholmesmusic » Wed Feb 20, 2019 1:14 am

First time submitting in the trap genre. Would love to get a second opinion on my return. I trust the screeners comments but just curious. Nothing but respect there.
CONTEMPORARY TRAP-Style INSTRUMENTAL CUES are needed by a NON-Exclusive, Music Supervisor-owned Library with a huge number of TV placements to its credit. They're currently on the prowl for Mid-to-Up Tempo Instrumental Cues that would fall in the general stylistic wheelhouse of the following references:

“Jumpin on a Jet” by Future

“Put a Date On It” by Yo Gotti ft. Lil Baby

“Real Ties” by Lil Skies

NOTE: Although the references have vocals, this request is for Instrumentals only.

Please send them rhythmically and melodically engaging Trap-Style Instrumentals that are current-sounding and have a modern feel. Build your Cues around a central melodic theme, while layering instruments in and out as your Cues progress to create a sense of forward momentum and good options for the editors who use these Cues. Trap-leaning production is what is needed, so bring out your coolest-sounding synths and 808s!

Here is the return critique:
"Track has a pretty repetitive sounding arrangement and overall structure. Would try adding perhaps another section to it which would allow it to have another main melodic element involved, instead of the same one that goes throughout this cue."

I did the below tracks in a night. I really do need to spend more time on these tracks to make sure arrangement is solid and the track is engaging enough. When listening to the first ref track "Jumping on a jet" by Future I felt like their beat was pretty repetitive. However, I totally understand that instrumental cues require a little more to provide interest because there is no vocal.

I submitted the following track "Them Nights (Trap)"
https://soundcloud.com/daneholmesmusic/ ... ap/s-K9ZVl

Curious if this other version would have had better luck getting forwarded. Possibly not since arrangement is the same.
https://soundcloud.com/daneholmesmusic/ ... ap/s-YcrZm

Thanks for any feedback!
Dane

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VanderBoegh
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Re: TRAP listing return D190214CT

Post by VanderBoegh » Wed Feb 20, 2019 8:48 am

Hey Dane, just giving this a quick listen before I run out to pick up my daughter. Listening on my 1" built-in computer speaker..... not optimal, especially with trap.

That said, the low end seems to be lacking. Could be the speaker though.... I might feel differently listening through headphones or in my studio.

The big thing is like the screener said: this is just too repetitive. Almost annoyingly so. Once we hear the section from :16 - :25, we've pretty much heard the whole cue. The following two minutes are just rinse and repeat.

Try changing octaves with the lead, changing the lead instrument in different sections, and dropping the lead out entirely for 8 or 16 bars. You'd be surprised at how much change can occur with simple little adjustments and deletions.

~~Matt

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Re: TRAP listing return D190214CT

Post by daneholmesmusic » Wed Feb 20, 2019 9:45 am

You are a champion for listening and providing feedback Matt!!! Ya that's the tricky part is getting that computer speaker to reproduce the low end...not that it ever will but I realize there are some distortion tricks that can help with bringing out the 808s on tiny speakers. I've had a few modern hip hop forwards and I'm confident with getting the knock but I haven't experimented enough with Trap and 808s. Any light you can shed on how you go about doing that would be much appreciated. I'll rework this one and change things up. If you get a chance to listen on headphones or monitors let me know but sounds like the biggest critique is in the repetitive nature of the track. Did you listen to the track in the 2nd link titled "Them nights 1.1 ? I ran out of time and couldn't submit that one... It has a bit more change but perhaps still not enough. The 808s in that one are slightly diff as well.

Again, the feedback is much appreciated! I can't believe how supportive the community is. I went on a forwarding streak (7 for 10) but the last two were returned so I'm getting that ego put in check :) .

Dane

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Re: TRAP listing return D190214CT

Post by VanderBoegh » Thu Feb 21, 2019 9:25 am

Hey Dane, just getting a chance to listen to both versions in my studio. Now that I hear them on my 8" monitors, I hear pretty good low end, so my comment yesterday - as I expected - was due to listening on a built-in iMac speaker.

In both versions, the 808's sound good and appropriate. I wouldn't change anything there. Although I prefer the longer ring-out in the 808 of the 2nd version.

Even though the 2nd version does have some welcome changes in the arrangement, it's still not enough. That lead melody is what kills this piece. It's a cool lead, but it runs unceasingly throughout the entire track (minus about 10 seconds in the middle section). Lead lines like that are cool, but don't overuse them. They can go from being cool to being annoying real quick! Again, some simple deletions, or changes in the instrument or octaves will help keep that from getting tedious to the listener.

~~Matt

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Re: TRAP listing return D190214CT

Post by daneholmesmusic » Thu Feb 21, 2019 3:07 pm

New version right here: https://soundcloud.com/daneholmesmusic/ ... ap/s-mqP5u

Should I be killing that lead altogether since you've heard it so much? Is this the right part of the forums to get this kind of feedback?

Thanks Matt,
Dane

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Re: TRAP listing return D190214CT

Post by VanderBoegh » Thu Feb 21, 2019 3:15 pm

Hey Dane, move this thread on over to Peer-to-Peer. You'll get more feedback from a bigger variety of people that way.

Not sure if you can move this existing thread, or if you'll have to start a new one.....

~~Matt

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