use of " like a..." in lyrics

[boatrider]

hi folks,
does anyone have any opinions on the use of the words " like a ..." when describing metaphors in lyrics
for instance...

" rock me mama, like a wagon wheel, rock me mama anyway you feel
rock me mama like the wind and the rain.... etc"

a co-writer and I are debating whether or not it is okay...?
any thoughts would be appreciated

[moomy]

Ya mean.... like a virgin?

[michael11]

.......rolling stone.

[Len911]

...like a sad song

[Len911]

What about, " as a"? Seriously, I don't know that you have a whole lot of options.

[Casey H]

It's totally fine... Song lyrics should be how people really speak and not necessarily grammatically correct...

So let me ease your mind like a bridge over troubled water.

Humorous aside... I was having a song produced last year and one of my lyric lines ended with "you and me". I got paranoid about the grammar police at the last minute and changed it to 'you and I". Later on, I realized how many popular songs used "You and me"... Lifehouse had a hit with "You and Me"- one of my favorite songs. "Don't Speak" by No Doubt opens with "You and me, we used to be together"...

BTW, to be technically correct , "like a..." is really a similie, not a metaphor. Anytime you use "like a" or similar, it's a similie. Pure metaphors such as "She burned her bridges when she left" can often be more effective in writing.

But the bottom line is: What does the listener hear and feel in the context of fairly normal conversation?

Casey

[boatrider]

Casey, thanks for reminder :
What does the listener hear and feel in the context of fairly normal conversation?
I appreciate your advice

[FMstereo]

Hi Mysha

Check out Pat Pattison's website and see what he's written about metaphors, then scroll down and check out the section on similes. I think Pat describes the difference between metaphor and simile so beautifully!

"You learned in high school that the difference between metaphor and simile is that simile uses 'like' or 'as'. True enough, but that's like saying that measles are spots on your body."

http://www.patpattison.com/makingmetaphors/

(Pat's not a professor on lyric writing for nothing!!)

Cheers

[mojobone]

WOOT! Great link, FM!

[gonsoulined]

i say go for it,.. if it feels right let it rip. If it doesn't feel right then edit that beast until it does. I think "like a" is totally fine, unless it really bothers you when you are playing it, to me that is the measuring stick. How does your lyric feel when you hear it back? How does it feel when you sing it? Usually if there is a line a dont like it'll kind of stick out like a sore thumb when i hear it. Have a great one!!