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I had a stroke dec 29 and was in the hospital until the first week of Feb. I mentioned a little about it in a post about throwing in the towel, and that had crossed my mind in the beginning. I'm still not sure if it is relevant or not to discuss it,lol!
my left side was paralyzed, I had to learn to walk again, don't use the cane much now. my voice muscles are still weak for singing, but I never lost speaking voice. A couple little miracles, I'm moving my arm, though still a little weak, a couple days ago, and last night, I can move my fingers and thumb a little. It's a big deal to me,lol, because I haven't moved my left arm or fingers since dec 30th. I had to learn to button and zip my pants and snap my western shirts and put on my socks one handed. they recommended in therapy sweat pants and tshirts or polo shirts, but that's not what I wear,lol.
I suppose the biggest thing I've learned is that necessity is the mother of invention. I've managed to pretty much quit smoking,
follow a diet for the first time ever,lol. it's not out of fear but of necessity, and for the diet, my taste is off a little, the only thing that really tastes the same as before is meat, fruits and vegetables. coffee is different, so I only brew 1 cup at a time.
I didn't have any intervention, no shot, no angioplasty because the clot was a small one deep in the brain and they thought they would do more damage than good, so they just let the affected part of my brain die. I think that maybe the reason I did so well in rehab was because my traumatic depressive event in life wasn't the stroke, but during the great recession when I lost everything. Certainly after seeing the hospital bill, I wasn't depressed any longer from that event, because I would have ended up in the same place anyhow,lol! So I suppose I learned something about depression, mainly why be depressed, it doesn't accomplish anything other than preventing something else that should be depressing, from being depressive.
I've smoked a few cigarettes, i had some papers and tobacco left,lol, they were really quite enjoyable. I'm out of papers, and I really can't imagine myself smoking anymore, and I think that's probably the biggest thing and secret to quiting, just not picturing myself smoking and not having papers available anymore to tempt me,lol.
I've rambled a bit, I just hope that anyone who reads this will understand that it ain't over until it's over, and not to throw in the towel unless it's into the washer to be laundered, or you get a new towel.

Great post Len!!

As my dear mum who passed away only last year would say "I am holding you up in spirit".

Sending you all the good vibes I can muster.

What we focus on is what our reality will be. If you have a choice between a good scenario or aa not so good one, choose to focus on the better of the two.

The brain is very elastic and brain cells can acquire a function that were previously the responsibility of the ones that died.

Thanks for sharing your current situation and your outlook in particular. It will be an inspiration to many I'm sure.

Hang in there

thanks guys! Sorry to hear about your mum Les.

I'm not much of a positive thinker, I will either complain the cup has only 4 ounces, or be happy that at the minimum I have 4 ounces,lol. It's not unlike the hospital stay, on one hand, I've never been waited on hand and foot like I was at a super posh spa or resort, but on the other hand, it can damage your dignity when someone has to wipe your bottom, or grades you on taking a shower.

I've read a little about brain plasticity a few years ago, I should go back and review.
https://goo.gl/images/uRkYFv I wondered why it was that most strokes seem to affect the same areas in different people. Something to do with the internal capsule and mapping. neural plasticity seems to involve remapping.

Hey Len,
So sorry to learn this.
Wishing you well.
Hang in there.

LEN: You're a brilliant guy. You'll be able to figure out what is possible and what is not! I believe you'll eventually sing like a bird, and play certain instruments to write your compositions.

Probably my BEST friend here in LA had a stoke a couple of years ago... So Len, I wouldn't get down on yourself about "lifestyle," and here's why: My friend, Tom, lived a TOTALLY clean life. NO smoking, drinking, and was essentially a vegetarian. And HE got a stroke!

For Tom, it was pretty hard (and it still is). That's because (as a musician) he played woodwinds. Without the use of his left-side, that was IT for him. And he was an amazing sax player (who played in my band) on tenor, alto, soprano, flute, piccolo, bass clarinet and clarinet. I just talked with Tom, and he's doing better, gradually. BUT his "day-job" was as a building contractor. He can still book jobs, but as for doing the WORK, he can't do that anymore, either.

But Tom and I have had a spiritual connection since the early 80's... If you can believe it, I ran a musical advertising for a "spiritual musician." I got ONE answer, and after talking to the guy on the phone, I realized that I HAD ALREADY PLAYED WITH HIM! It was Tom. Really. Serendipity.

He has (and has always) had such a positive attitude. He's got a young daughter, and is living his life day-by-day. And Tom plans on getting all his faculties back and living to 110. And my guess is that he will.

I hope this helps, Len! You're not alone, and I hope you don't feel alone and will recover in short order.

With love,

Ern

Thanks for sharing your situation Len. Please keep on pushing. Your talent and spirit is needed.

I will be keeping you in my prayers my friend.

DT

thank you Billy and DT!
Ern, sorry to hear about Tom. That is particularly difficult and tragic to suddenly see someone lose their occupation, especially with young children, or if they themselves are young. I overheard a couple outside my door in the hallway discussing a 37 year old
and wanted the staff to talk him in to staying for rehab, I thought that was poignant. The majority were older people.

sorry to hear Len. keep on brother

I hope you heal completely! Stay positive!
Jason