TAXI.com

AP:Metallica's Lars Ulrich Gets Settlement Letter From RIAA, Files Class Action Counter-SuitMetallica drummer Lars Ulrich, who recently revealed that he illegally downloaded “Death Magnetic” after it leaked ahead of the official release date last year, has been served with a settlement letter by the RIAA. The settlement amount was reportedly $20,000 per song, which comes out to a total of $200,000.Ulrich commented on the unlikely, yet unwinnable situation:“I guess I'll just pay it. I mean, I know it's completely absurd, but after calling for the heads of all those who downloaded Metallica songs on Napster, I have no choice but to pay the settlement or appear to be a complete hypocrite despite my current feelings about downloading.”He elaborated, “On the flip side, I realized that the band, who are the 'victims' here, will not see a penny of this fine, and therefore Metallica and our lawyers will be filing a class action law suit against the RIAA for fair distribution of said settlement monies to the artists they claim to be standing up for.”In related surprising news, a source close to the drummer has come forward and commented that the version of “Death Magnetic” that Lars downloaded was in fact the Guitar Hero version, to which he admitted it “sounds a sh*tload better [than the CD version of 'Death Magnetic'.”

Hmmmm...what's the date today, again? Oh right, April 1st

lol

Apr 1, 2009, 11:44am, mojobone wrote:AP:Metallica's Lars Ulrich Gets Settlement Letter From RIAA, Files Class Action Counter-SuitMetallica drummer Lars Ulrich, who recently revealed that he illegally downloaded “Death Magnetic” after it leaked ahead of the official release date last year, has been served with a settlement letter by the RIAA. The settlement amount was reportedly $20,000 per song, which comes out to a total of $200,000.Ulrich commented on the unlikely, yet unwinnable situation:“I guess I'll just pay it. I mean, I know it's completely absurd, but after calling for the heads of all those who downloaded Metallica songs on Napster, I have no choice but to pay the settlement or appear to be a complete hypocrite despite my current feelings about downloading.”He elaborated, “On the flip side, I realized that the band, who are the 'victims' here, will not see a penny of this fine, and therefore Metallica and our lawyers will be filing a class action law suit against the RIAA for fair distribution of said settlement monies to the artists they claim to be standing up for.”In related surprising news, a source close to the drummer has come forward and commented that the version of “Death Magnetic” that Lars downloaded was in fact the Guitar Hero version, to which he admitted it “sounds a sh*tload better [than the CD version of 'Death Magnetic'.”Oh man, that's news to me, I thought he was going to use the money to buy a bridge!!

HaHaHaHa! LOL! Maybe Lars and the boyz should remix "Death Magnetic!" I hear it sounds like complete digital noise --- haven't heard it, and I don't think I want to!I think "Enter Sandman" sounds great --- what happened to their ears? Oh, I guess playing at 140 db for 20 years might change your sense of mixing perception. Ern

hahahaha!!! Reading the above... for a moment I was like "what the...???"It's pretty sad the last two albums were so badly mixed, sounds crap... what a waste... sigh!Sad but True!!!-Kel

Was this an Onion article? Awesome!B

ha you HAD me Mojo!