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I had this hook come to me the other day, and everytime I think of it I start laughing...probably a sign of my mental stability. Anyway, I can't figure out how to tell the story and so it's free to whoever wants it.The idea of the story is a woman is in labor and she finds out her delivery nurse is her husband's ex. So the song is the story of how she made it through the delivery knowing who this woman is................and here it is. The title is "Mid-Wife Crisis" hahaha I don't know why I think that's funny. "What we have here is a mid wife crisis" LOL Okay I'm done.Andy

I don't know how that would go exactly, either... but it's a great line. Made me chuckle.

How about this one? I'm thinking Gretchen Wilson. The verse is reminiscent of Rock Around the Clock in cadence.I didn't think this turned out too bad, really. GREAT HOOK, MAN!MIDWIFE CRISIS©2008V1 My water broke and it was half past five Jimmy drove too fast but we made it there alive We got settled in a ward down at maternity And in walks Jimmy’s ex and she’s a-starin’ at meCHORUS1 And now we got ourselves a midwife crisisJimmy said, “I’ll wait outside” I said, “That’s been tried! You’re gonna stay by my side Through this midwife crisisThere’s nothin’ else you can do You gotta breathe your way thru Your little midwife crisis”V2 They got me in my gown, my feet in the stirrups Jimmy’s smilin’ at me sweet as maple syrup The ex starts to growlin’ down deep in her throat I b’lieve I said somethin’ ‘bout her lookin’ like a goatCHORUS And now we got ourselves a midwife crisisJimmy said, “I’ll wait outside” I said, “That’s been tried! You’re gonna stay by my side Through this midwife crisisThere’s nothin’ else you can do You gotta breathe your way thru Your little midwife crisis”V3 Jim Jr. was born at 7:23 And he’s the spittin’ image of Jimmy and me The ex-nurse is hissin’ like some kinda viper I said, “Be a dear… Go on and change that diaper” (dramatic pause, spoken) CHORUS And now we got ourselves a midwife crisisJimmy said, “I’ll wait outside” I said, “That’s been tried! You’re gonna stay by my side Through this midwife crisisThere’s nothin’ else you can do You gotta breathe your way thru Your little midwife crisis”BRIDGE Bet you’d take back your wishes now Because, Lady, I’m his Mrs. nowWRAPUP You just wait outsideThere’s nothin’ else you can do You gotta breathe your way thru Your little EX-wife crisis

If you're quick, you can spend $5 and submit here:NEW LISTING -- HUMOROUS CONTEMPORARY COUNTRY SONGS a la RODNEY CARRINGTON are needed by the Sr. Director of A&R at a Major Nashville Label. This artist is a fantastic singer and a hilarious comedian with a need for really solid, but viciously funny songs. You can think in terms of songs like "Friends In Low Places" (Garth Brooks) and "I'm Gonna Miss Her" (Brad Paisley) for an idea of what they'll be looking for. Lyrics need to be clever, with compelling stories and engaging hooks. The humor needs to be overt and mature/adult themes are just fine. You can have some fun with this one, but remember that we'll need to be selective and the song must fit all the criteria for any great Contemporary Country song in terms of melody and strong hooks — in addition to being wickedly funny. Stylistically, you can lean more traditional or left of center — but tread lightly... these songs should be really accessible to a contemporary audience. Mid to up-tempo songs will be preferable, but all tempos will be considered. Please submit 1-3 songs online or per CD, include lyrics. All submissions will be screened on a YES/NO BASIS — NO CRITIQUES FROM TAXI — and must be received no later than February 4, 2009. TAXI # Y090204CO

LOL I think you're on to something! That's a perfect listing for that song. Go for it boy of lyrics.Andy

I'm instrumentally challenged (production, too).If I've got any takers on that side, I'll re-write for the male lead.Anybody in?

I bet ol Brad Paisley could do something with that hook. Sounds like his kind of stuff.GB

this looks fun i did the second verse and chorus so if anyone wants theres still a bridge and first verse This would be the second verseWell she threw a dirty fryin' panCause I was s'posed to wash itBut I went out with my friendsNashville we've got a problemI've got a Mid-Wife CrisisHope the other half of her lifeAin't like thisI know I said I do when I married herBut that was before she declared warOn me and my privatesI've got a Mid Wife Crisis