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MY FATHER
Posted: Sat Mar 07, 2009 12:42 am
by deantaylor
Thanks for your prior input on this song. I updated the lyric quite a bit. This is still just a guit/vox melody draft. And we'll get another singer. Tell us what you think of the songwriting .. anything else we should consider changing.We are thinking of keeping these guitar tracks, adding some more instrumentation .. piano, strings, etc. .. but no drums .. maybe somewhere in the Americana or singer-songwriter-folk area. How would you produce it? Got a song or two we might use as a production guide.
http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7401815lyric is there tooWe're just trying to write a good song. We'll pitch it to film-tv .. not to recording artists.Thanks,Dean and SvenniPS My father is alive and he likes the song ... I just found that I could express my true emotions about him one day when I imagined that he had died.
Re: MY FATHER
Posted: Sat Mar 07, 2009 2:07 am
by ig88
hmmm i see where you are going and its nice song structure. I think you should have someone else sing it IMO. Nice mix of the guitars
Re: MY FATHER
Posted: Sat Mar 07, 2009 7:21 am
by cameron
Dean,The melody is quite nice but one place in particular it seemed too upbeat for the line being sung. In the line "They tell me my father is dead" the melody has a bit of an uplift just at that point which makes it seem a bit cheery when the lyric is anything but. Good hook, and I like the bridge.Are you thinking country or singer/songwriter?Cam
Re: MY FATHER
Posted: Sat Mar 07, 2009 7:39 am
by deantaylor
IG, thanks. Yes, we plan to get another singer. This is just a guit/vox melody draft.Cam, thanks. We'll put an ear to that line. We are thinking somewhere in the Americana or singer-songwriter-folk area. Not sure yet. How would you produce it? Got a song or two we might use as a production guide?
Re: MY FATHER
Posted: Sat Mar 07, 2009 2:47 pm
by djb
Dean, Sure expresses the father son relationship very well. The lyric reads well on it's own, like a poem. I like songs that come from the heart . I have two young sons and we love to fish together so I can relate to the fishing scenes. Good job. Dave Berdoulay
Re: MY FATHER
Posted: Sun Mar 08, 2009 12:02 am
by deantaylor
Dave, thanks for listening and giving us some feedback. What kind of fishing do you do? My Dad and I did a lot of fishing in Florida .. the intercoastal waterways .. for trout, mainly, but also sometimes we hooked into some big channel bass. Dean
Re: MY FATHER
Posted: Tue Mar 10, 2009 4:07 am
by cameron
Mar 7, 2009, 9:39am, deantaylor wrote:ICam, thanks. We'll put an ear to that line. We are thinking somewhere in the Americana or singer-songwriter-folk area. Not sure yet. How would you produce it? Got a song or two we might use as a production guide?Dean, this might sound strange, but I could hear it with the tempo cut about in half and sung by someone like Jamey Johnson, with a very sparse guitar and a powerful "lonesome" sound. Otherwise, if you wanted to go more conservative I think the Americana dobro/banjo sound could work, although you'd have to be careful not to make it too upbeat if you went this route. I usually ship my stuff to Jimi and let them have their way with it. I'm seldom disappointed with the way they arrange it.Cam
Re: MY FATHER
Posted: Tue Mar 10, 2009 6:16 am
by deantaylor
Cam,Thanks, that is an interesting idea! We'll listen to a little Jamey and see if we hear it too, but in general I can kinda see where you are coming from.I think you may be right about that melody line. The melody changed there from the first draft. I might talk to Svenni about going back to the original.Dean