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This is a tune I posted a few weeks ago and thanks to comments from you guys I have made some changes in the lyric and other tweaks here and there. Would love to hear some comments on this.http://www.taximusic.com/stream/201962/ ... p3KitzWhen My Baby Cries or maybe When She CriesI will see her thru the stormBring with me an ocean breeze to rest her in my armsI can put the smile back in her eyesWhen sorrow criesWe keep our faith in front of usSometimes it gets so hard to find the one you trust But if we know - if we are sureWe will endure - we will endureOh I live to hear the music - see the laughter in her eyesI may never understand - all the feelings she'll disguiseBut when her day is cloudy - bring the lady's softest sighsTo sunny skiesI'm always dreamin of her smileHer voice - her eyes and how she holds me for a little whileAnd if it's rainin' on her dayI'll find a way - I'll find a wayOh I live to hear the music - see the laughter in her eyesI may never understand all the feelings she'll disguiseBut when her day is cloudy... When the tears begin to fallWhen her day is cloudy Bring my lady's softest sighs To sunny skies - sunny skiesI will be there thru the stormJust a little ocean breeze to rest her in my armsI can put the smile back in her eyesOh when she criesWhen she criesWhen my baby cries I'm gonna try

hi kitz--i like the concept of this still. --the verse music is solid, though to my ears i'd like to hear some of the verse end notes rise a bit more for interest--now that chorus--it's either genius or distracting, and truthfully i don't know which, but i'm leaning toward distracting, as the change of beat and vibe just doesn't seem to sound "chorus-like", and a bit too quirky that changes the "tone" of the entire tune...--only other comment for now is that your ending seems to linger too long, i've listened twice and it seems to take to long to get to the end, reducing it's impact. sorry, my computer setttings are SCREWED up on quicktime and i can't suggest where i'd stop the lingering, but seems that it's about 20 seconds too much, for a rough guess. keep at it, all the best,warren

Thanks for the listen Warren and especially the comments. Will take a new listen with your thoughts in mind.I recently took a couple of hard disk failures in the past 2 months that have really slowed down my progress on EVERYTHING. One good side was - quicktime is no longer my default player. I made sure of that.Best back at ya',Kitz

Great sound on the rhythm section here, Kitz. I'm pretty sure I commented on this song previously, because I recall the tempo/feel change. It was a bit jarring, but honestly, I think the biggest problem with it to my ears is I just didn't care for the melody/harmony. The second instance went over better (going into the short guitar break). Something tells me this might be the sort of song that really grows on you and rewards many listens. Time will tell, I guess!Your hook line suffers a little from being in such a low register--you could probably add impact to that by doubling it an octave higher.Cool ending, by the way!Vince

Thanks Vince, What lines are you referring to doubling?Kitz

Kitz,I heard doubling possibilities on "When She Cries": @ :31, 2:59, 3:05, 3:20, 3:26. I think you could also sustain "cries" longer to highlight it more and sing it more often, cuz it's the title!To be clear, it was only the first "pre-chorusey" tempo changing section that threw me (on third listen, it was mostly the harmonic backing); the rest of the song was mighty fine.V>

Thanks alot Vince!! I'll give it a shot!!

KitzNot good at breaking down you song, but I really liked it man.Loved that guitar. The pace change is a little confusing, but I guess it works?I can tell you have put a lot of work into this.I have a feeling this is going to be very good after you finish the tweaking.Good luckPaul

I have tried four or five times man to download this file and I'm just hitting a stone wall every time! Sorry mate!

Kitz, i really do like this one. Im not sure what your plans are to do this one...It sounds like it could be a great tune for both an album cut, and some listings. Again, really strong concept i thought. If you're goal is to fully develop this one, as opposed to just present the idea and potential as an idea...(What are your intentions by the way?) I think you've got a bit of refining to do on the melody, vocals, and phrasing. Production sounds great. Warm and smooth, good instruementation, excellent drums. Good work man. Im still a little undecided if i like the arrangement as a whole.Back to the issues i mentioned about the vocals: -The vocals are too loud. Bring back a little. -The melody didnt work for me because it felt a little sloppy in terms of timing. Felt like you had to stretch words a little, imo. Maybe, instead of "i-would-see-her-through-the-storm--", try "I-would-see-he-r, Through-the-sto-orm"the idea would be 4 syllables for each line with a pause in between. Just an idea, might like it might not.Ill also echo vince, about the vocal register being a too low for the song.I think the elements are all there, except for the melody and vocal delivery/production.You have a solid idea here, keep on this one. HTH, Jamiep.s. Those are real drums right? Nice job!