'Deadline' - guitar/vocal...Opinions please

[questor]

Greetings,I am planning to submit this song for the listing:ACOUSTIC SINGER-SONGWRITER SONGS are needed by an established Music Publisher in L.A. who has secured TONS of Film/TV placements for many TAXI members. This Publisher is only looking for songs that are piano/voice or acoustic guitar/voice - NO additional instruments in the track, please! Songs should be original and along the lines of Jeff Buckley, Elliott Smith, Rufus Wainwright, Patrick Wolf, Fiona Apple, Rachael Yamagata, Aimee Mann, Tori Amos, etc. All tempos will be considered for this one, but please be sure that the arrangement is SOLO piano/voice or guitar/voice. Solid performances are necessary and recordings need to be Broadcast Quality (excellent home recordings should be just fine). Male or female vocals are just fine. They offer a non-exclusive, 50/50 split deal - you keep your original copyrights. Please submit one to three songs online or per CD. All submissions will be screened and critiqued by TAXI and must be received no later than January 14, 2009.TAXI # S090114SS Please take a listen and let me know what you think...does it fit the listing, is the production decent enough (a constant problem for me), etc. etc.Thanks so much for any advice!Qhttp://www.taxi.com/mnhprojectDeadlineThere goes the sun,Warning of the storm to come,Oh, How I long for yesterday…Are you the girl I knew?Lord knows what you put me throughI need an answer today…What's it gonna be?Is it gonna be him or me,We can't keep on this way.Do you' remember Crystal park?We slipped in after darkLeft our clothes on the shore by the lakeI could see the stars in the skyAll reflected in your clear eyesHow can you throw it all away?What's it gonna be?Is it gonna be him or me,Why must you play these gamesWhat's it gonna be?Do you love him or me,I can't keep playing this way.You only had to choose,The one thing you couldn't doAnd now we see the truth behind the liesNow you're all alone,Sittin', waitin' by the phoneBut you know,You're on a deadline...Deadline...Deadline...Goodbye.

[ideascapes]

Q,Since this is a little out of my genre, I'd have to listen harder to the a la's to give a better opinion. Do you have our voice doubled? I'd think for a listing such as this you'd need to feature a very strong single vocal. But again, I'm not the expert.Vince

[deantaylor]

Hey Eric,Sorry, too late to help your decision. It seems somewhat close to the listing and it is a pretty good song. My guess is that it might not make it, I am not sure the performance or the song 'pops' enough. And film-tv also wants 'mood', not sure it has enough of that. But I hope you gave it the $5 shot. I could be wrong.Dean

[questor]

Thanks guys for the feedback.Yeah, I submitted it... hasn't been too much lately that I remotely seem to fit into, so I figured why not. Production is always an issue, and I noticed after I submitted that there seems to be a bit of wind 'puffs' (or something that sounds like them)....which may mean that I had recorded it prior to getting my windscreen.Hopefully the critique will give me some useful suggestions on how to make the song better, but they may just concentrate on production issues (which I find usually does not give any real specifics except to say that it is lacking).Anyway, thanks for taking the time to listen and give some feedback.Regards,Q