"Can't Bear the Wait"

[jwebbinspired]

Hello all. Thanks for everyone's help and patience. It has been very helpful for me to write a song with everyone looking over my shoulder.What once was "Waiting On a Ring" over many re-writes has currently become "Waiting Sure Is Tough." I'm very pleased with this song, it needs some lyric adjustments I think, but I want to see what you guys thought. Please comment on melody and lyrics. I am going to have this professionally recorded when it's ready, I know my production/singing is terrible."Waiting Sure Is Tough"www.andrewscottwills.com/wsit.mp3“Waiting Sure Is Tough”©2009 Andrew Scott WillsIt’s hard to be patient when waiting,To turn sixteen, (or, On the day I can start driving)I've been saving up for a long time,So I can buy a smooth ride,I can’t wait to take her on the road,No telling the places we’ll go,So I’m pacing around,Checking my watch and thinking about her,Any moment now, I’ll look up and I’ll see her,That moment can’t come soon enough,Man, waiting sure is tough,I’ve got a diamond in my hand,I’m waiting so here I stand,I never thought I’d be a groom,All I know is I want to see her soon,And I’ve got nothing to pass the time,While I wait on my bride,I’m on my fourth cup of coffee,Three a.m. waiting on a baby,My wife is such a warrior,The contractions are getting closer,I can’t wait to see my daughter,Lord, I just want to hold her,

[feaker]

webPretty lil song you wrote here.I would like to hear this again using some some pitch correction. I use melodyne uno for the off notes. I like the sound of your voice and in fact you did hit some good ones.good luckPaul

[ideascapes]

Andrew,You actually have a good vocal quality--a little pitchy, but the phrasing and tone help to sell the song.I like the song. Good melody, good story. I'm just not sure that "Waiting Sure is Tough" is a solid title/theme. It's sort of blah as a sentiment. I'd expect something more like (paraphrase), "I'll die if I have to wait any longer," or "There's no way I can't wait any longer," etc.Vince

[jwebbinspired]

Thanks guys.Vince, that's what I was afraid of. I was a little concerned about my hook anyway. I'll see if I can improve it.Andy

[jwebbinspired]

Ok guys. Here is my current hook. I think it's better, but I'll leave that up to you guys.“Can’t Bear the Wait”©2009 Andrew Scott WillsIt’s hard to be patient when waiting,To turn sixteen, (or, The day I can start driving)I’ve been saving up for a long time,So I can buy a smooth ride,I can’t wait to take her on the road,No telling the places we’ll go,So I’m pacing around,Checking my watch and thinking about her,Any moment now, I’ll look up and I’ll see her,It’s the time in between that’s hard to take,And I can’t bear the wait,I’ve got a diamond in my hand,I’m waiting so here I stand,I never thought I’d be a groom,All I know is I want to see her soon,And I’ve got nothing to pass the time,While I wait on my bride,I’m on my fourth cup of coffee,Three a.m. waiting on a baby,My wife is such a warrior,The contractions are getting closer,I can’t wait to see my daughter,Lord, I just want to hold her,Can’t bear the wait,Can’t bear the wait,

[ideascapes]

Andrew,I didn't catch this before, but I wonder whether the constant present tense of the lyric--without any commentary about the passing of time--will be confusing.V>

[jonathanm]

OK, this is a bit obtuse, and I don't want to sidetrack the thread, but I guess I had my eyes crossed when I first read the title of the song.I thought it said:"Can't The Beer Wait?" *ahem* Sorry

[jwebbinspired]

Hmmm. Interesting point. I understand what you're saying about the "passing of time." I think you might have pointed out a problem that nobody could put their finger on before. Thanks Vince.Let me put this back in the garage.Andy

[jwebbinspired]

Thanks Jonathan LOL I hadn't noticed that. Maybe I should rename the song "I Need a Beer" ?LOL