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Hi guys....Last lot of subs got savaged (though one screener was encouraging) so we decided to slow the pace down and try to get one right. Screener suggestions were to develop the melody more and work on more sectional distinction so I reworked the verses adding in some piano. I also got called out on my drum programming (that hurt ) so I tinkered there but don't know if I'm happy with the transition fills.This is still rough.... redoing vocals and hoping to get better players to help out.... but I wanted to get some feedback before I commit and start separating the drums to EQ and lay down a final vocal.The song is "All she said was maybe" which I've had up before and of course any and all comments are welcomed and that means you Heinsite ....Peace, Geohttp://www.taximusic.com/download/125605/All%2 ... ybe.mp3All She Said Was MaybeGeo ©2008All she said was maybe and not another wordShe gave no rhyme or reason the whole thing’s really quite absurdAnd I just stood there struck dumb by the refrainThat’s now playing like a broken loop just pounding on my brainWell maybe it’s time to pack my things get you out of my life for goodYou think I’ll never leave you but this time maybe I shouldOr should I stop and ask you more time, wait for a replyGive you one more chance, well maybe you should tell me whyWhy this can’t be like the other times when you let me have my wayWhy won’t you even answer, don’t you have anything to sayBut all she said was maybe and not another wordShe gave no rhyme or reason the whole thing’s really quite absurdAnd I just stood there struck dumb by the refrainThat’s now playing like a broken loop just pounding on my brainOK maybe there was another girl but I thought you understoodI’ve never said I’m sorry but this time maybe I shouldAnd promise this time is the last time, I’ll finally turn that pageAppreciate what I have and maybe start to act my ageSo I’m asking for forgiveness, know there’s a price that must be paidPlease it can’t be too late now don’t you have anything else to sayBut all she said was maybe all she said was maybeAll she said was maybe all she said was maybeAll she said was maybe sounded suspiciously like noThen leaned in for one last kiss turned and started to goAnd as I stood there that word sunk into my brainSoon I came to realize I would never see her againAll she said was maybe all she said was maybeAll she said was maybe all she said was maybeAll she said was maybe and not another wordShe gave no rhyme or reason the whole thing’s really quite absurdAnd I just stood there struck dumb by the refrainThat’s now playing like a broken loop just pounding on my brainAll she said was maybe all she said was maybeAll she said was maybe all she said was maybe

Hey GeoLiked this the first time around, but it is definetely better now.Sounds tight to me, but I am a support guy:)Vocals might have to come up slightly starting eight sentence up? (repeating "all she said was maybe")Good to see you around:)Paul

Hey Geo,I like the tune. I don't remember the details of the original version too well but this one sounds polished and I think you have the sectional distinction down. What type of listings are you shooting for?Cameron

Geo, this is a LOT better than the first time around. I really like the piano "breakdown" parts, good job & good luck with it!

Sept 17, 2008, 4:39am, feaker wrote:Sounds tight to me, but I am a support guy:)Paul are you talking jocks here? Thanks for the listen Paul, Cam and Bill.The structure is pretty much the same as before Cam... I added the piano parts and broke the music down (the song was like a race to the break before). .... Glad you like the piano parts Bill, I was trying to play it on guitar but the G string kept ringing flat and was very distracting... once I played it on piano I was like "aha"....Right now I'm targeting song pitches for "ALT/Modern Rock" until I get my broadcast quality down then I will try library pitches.... hoping by slowing down and reading up a bit I can get there...Thanks for the listen guys..... Geo

Hey Geo.I'm at work so I can't listen, but as I read it I noticed that the verses are in '3rd person', and the chorus is in '1st person'I have this thing embedded in my head from school1st person...I said2nd person...You said3rd person...She saidBilly

GEO.....Sounds very well constructed.....good piano....Like the panning....drums sound just fine..guitars cool...vocals sound good....Good job....Cooool piano at the end.... jay....

hey geo, if this is a test, i'll flunk!!is this the tune i pm'd you on? now you're making me try to remember (i don't keep my replys to folks, ....)don't know, but i like this MUCH MUCH BETTER!! my memory is that this is much better produced and clear to the ear...what i remember in MY limited brain, was that i wanted to hear was the hook/title more..."all she said was maybe" brought out more and earlier, pounding it more as your chorus, and i hear it here...but ,,,,i'd still like to hear it earlier and more....!think i also said to pair down the verse's words some. you really didn't do that, but it works real well in this form buddy....still where you have the instrumental early on, why not pound your hook/chorus (imho) there? now i will NOT swear on a bible or any other book, but i think that's what i said, but it was a long LONG time back....and from guy that can't remember his OWN lyrics, let alone what i said before...anyway, i love this tune allot, i'd still pound the "maybe" lines earlier...all the best,warrenps: and damn, if you'll post what i said to you, i'll remember!! and won't be embarressed if i'm a horse's pajamas!!xoxoo

Sept 17, 2008, 10:04am, byllsong wrote:Hey Geo.I'm at work so I can't listen, but as I read it I noticed that the verses are in '3rd person', and the chorus is in '1st person'I have this thing embedded in my head from school1st person...I said2nd person...You said3rd person...She saidBillyYeah Billy I checked that .... the song is supposed to be the guy reliving the fight right after she leaves.... or relating it to friends... I couldn't fit anything in with the last version but think I'll add "So I was like....." before the verses to make that clearer.... Thanks!! GeoQuote: Roadrunner422 on Yesterday at 8:51pm GEO.....Sounds very well constructed.....good piano....Like the panning....drums sound just fine..guitars cool...vocals sound good....Good job....Cooool piano at the end.... jay.... Thanks Jay.... once I added that outro piano I was like yeah.... that's cool too!!!Quote:heinsite on Today at 12:24am hey geo, if this is a test, i'll flunk!!is this the tune i pm'd you on? now you're making me try to remember (i don't keep my replys to folks, ....)don't know, but i like this MUCH MUCH BETTER!! my memory is that this is much better produced and clear to the ear... Yeah I was pissed at a return and acted like a baby .....I just always liked the structure and the 4th screener agreed.....I choose to ignore the previous 3 who echoed your suggestions.... cause I'm stubborn ..... and she suggested more sectional difference which I have adopted as my new mantra....Glad you guys liked the tune.... Peace, Geo

Geo,I like it! You've got pretty decent sectional difference here, imo. (i did not hear the first version). Could there me more, sure, but it is pretty good like this.Production sounds pretty darn good to!Deam