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hey all, I had posted this in another thread but have since tweaked the vocals a bit. Parts were a little out of my vocal comfort zone & I'm not sure if they pass "pitch" muster. Would appreciate it if you'd tell me if your dog started howling while you listened to this - Thanks!http://www.billgaunce.com/song/0

I love the tone on this song... very Paul Westerberg, Tom Petty, Elvis Costello type of vibe. I like the juxtaposition of the ethereal guitars with a chunky, weighted vocal (weighted by both the tone and the lyrics)... although I will admit that sometimes the words seemed a bit heavy in the first 2 verses, like you needed more breathing room in the phrases. I also found myself wanting (but not needing) a fuller sound starting at the second chorus to make it really crescendo into the bridge. Maybe pull back adding in all the different parts at the first chorus and wait until the second to unleash it all... of course that's just splitting hairs, as I really did like the song!And... Yeah, it's a bit pitchy in parts... and it is noticeable. But with your vocal style, I think you can get away with it a bit. And my dog didn't go off, so I think you passed that test!

Thanks Mr. Zoom! man, I'm a HUGE Westerburg fan so that's a compliment. I think you're right too about trying to build a bit more, I think I'm going to give another shot at mixing it.I laid down three lead vocal tracks thinking that I could comp them & take care of the pitchy parts but none of them are "on"! So I tried blending them in places to cover it up but that ain't gonna fool anybody either. Oh well, it is what it is! Thanks again -

i like this a lot! don't know if you're familiar with "Texas music", but this song nails it, IMO. Pat Green, Rodney Earl Keen, Jerry Jeff Walker...HUGE down in the Lone Star State.

Just listened, I'll post before reading the other comments. Not too many singers can pull off a whiskey-voiced delivery in such a rangy song; this comes close, but you are correct, there are some minor pitch issues here and there (most notably in the "C" section) that prevent the track from reaching full potential. Everything but the vocal is dead on. I especially like the bass lines, very sharp recording all 'round. The backing vocals seem to need retuning throughout, the lead vocal might be saved with some punch-ins and a slightly different vocal treatment, maybe try re-singing with the BG vocals muted, then recut and or tune BGs. The arrangement's a gem, I bet the mix came together fast! Lyrically, the verses don't move the song anywhere, I think there needs to be some resolution to the conflict presented here; the song WILL NOT work as a metaphor for being stuck. Don't stick the poor listener. Unstick the protagonist or at least give him a reason to look forward to a time when he can lose those Deja Vu Blues.HTH

Oh, I don't know about that. Plenty of blues tunes are all about goin nowhere and never gettin there. It's true to the genre. I'm there with you on the fixes though......

Very, very nice Bill! Can I buy the album when it comes out? Great lyrics, your vocals sound AWESOME on the verses (and my dog's still asleep even after the howling at the end of the chorus). I hate not being able to provide constructive criticism but I wouldn't change much, if anything.Cameron

Thanks folks. momof4, I used to listen to a lot of Jerry Jeff Walker . . . maybe something stuck!Mojobone, I almost ditched this tune because I couldn't sing it. That's pretty bad when you can't sing your own song! I think I might have someting better in one of the three tracks, I'm going to revisit that. I might just have to try and screech it out again. I'm not gonna go for the happy ending thing though. It's like Squids said, it's more of a blues thought & it needs to stay unresolved.Cameron, glad I didn't harm your dogs ears! I take it you're kind of like me. I generally like things or I don't & have a tough with giving criticism when I like something. If I like it then my ears kinda go "deaf" to the problems.Thanks!

Jun 11, 2008, 7:11pm, mojobone wrote:Just listened, I'll post before reading the other comments. Not too many singers can pull off a whiskey-voiced delivery in such a rangy song; this comes close, but you are correct, there are some minor pitch issues here and there (most notably in the "C" section) that prevent the track from reaching full potential. Everything but the vocal is dead on. I especially like the bass lines, very sharp recording all 'round. The backing vocals seem to need retuning throughout, the lead vocal might be saved with some punch-ins and a slightly different vocal treatment, maybe try re-singing with the BG vocals muted, then recut and or tune BGs. The arrangement's a gem, I bet the mix came together fast! Lyrically, the verses don't move the song anywhere, I think there needs to be some resolution to the conflict presented here; the song WILL NOT work as a metaphor for being stuck. Don't stick the poor listener. Unstick the protagonist or at least give him a reason to look forward to a time when he can lose those Deja Vu Blues.HTHI gotta respecfully disagree with you here, Mojo. That's part of the charm of this song....who wants to hear a song where the vocalist sounds like everyone else, boring in most places, perfect pitch and all? That was part of Dylan's unique voice....and Bill is Dylan with pitch, hehe. BTW, this is not a defense of Bill....I know he can take care of himself, and I'm sure he appreciates your feedback....he may even agree with it and is utilizing some of your suggestions. This is more me saying that I think this song is great as is, and I think he should pitch it. Also, as far as verses go, I don't think he's pitching the song to country listings where lyrics are very literal. He has some latitude here....you can get away with more metaphorial lyrics and some listeners prefer them anyway. As far as any resolution, well, maybe there is not meant to be one. It's just a guy singing about being stuck in a place, sort of resigned to it, but he's not falling apart.......he's just reflecting on it.Over and out, my two cents, hehe.

Jun 11, 2008, 1:46pm, momof4 wrote:i like this a lot! don't know if you're familiar with "Texas music", but this song nails it, IMO. Pat Green, Rodney Earl Keen, Jerry Jeff Walker...HUGE down in the Lone Star State. Ooh, I love Jerry Jeff Walker, and Robert Earl Keen's "Merry Christmas From the Family" is my favorite Christmas song....even though it's June, here's some holiday fun. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P37xPiRz1sgAnother classic:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RArZGbD9 ... re=related