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I seem to have run into the producer/arrangers block these days. I'm having issues finishing this song as well:The song is called "A New Day"http://www.taximusic.com/song.php?song_ ... ream=1This was submitted to some downbeat listing about a year ago, and the screener gave some advice. Implementing the suggested changes has a few drawbacks though of which I'm trying to work my way through, because I agree with the screeners opinion.This time I'm aiming for the ambient/chillout listing (S080220EL)There are a couple of options, and I have a hard time deciding what route to take, especially since I'm not english native. - the suggested changes may or may not be affecting the lyric flow.Here's the screeners advice:"There is a lot going for this song in terms of the arrangement / instrumentation and production however the structure can seem a bit off. The b section or pre chorus only happens once before C1 and sounds more like a chorus then the actual chorus, in terms of lift and harmonies . You might want to yank the pre altogether for more clarity in structure or use it latter as a bridge ( A,B,A,B,C,B). You might also want to add an instrumental hook in the chorus to help it pop more, making it more memorable. lastly the vocalist can have intonation issues, you might want to run the vox tracks through an auto tuner so the pitch is spot on"My question is if I should choose option nr 2, which I think is the most appealing, would the lyrical flow get lost, and/or erratic?The third issue is where the screener kind of lost me; although I can agree to the fact that the vocals are a bit weak in spots here and there, I just can't hear where its supposedly off. Maybe you guys are better at hearing this, after all I'm a bit biased as I forced my girlfriend to sing it. Pay no attention to any shortcomings in the "production". This is not the version I submitted earlier, it's only the vocals that are the same. But I wanted to fix the vocals first, and deal with the production later.I know the all time and best solution would be to rerecord all the vocals, but as I don't think it's all that bad I wanted to see if it could be saved by some "spot-fixing" first.Here's the lyrics:A:When I was youngLife was a mysterySo many things I didn’t understandAs I grew upThey explained it all to meStill there are things that I don’t understandC:Like a jigsaw puzzleI add one piece to anotherTrying to make some senseSo many secrets to uncoverB:Throw all your worriesInto the windWatch as your problems spread their wingsSee them take off into the dawnThis is a new dayAnd your bluebird is goneYour bluebird is goneA:Hold out your handWait for the rainLet it wash all your troubles awayOpen your heartDon’t be afraidAfter dark comes a brand new dayB:Throw all your worriesInto the windWatch as your problems spread their wingsSee them take off into the dawnThis is a new dayAnd your bluebird is goneYour bluebird is gone

Hey upeters, I'll leave the vocal thingy alone as my subs are notoriously pitchy but as far as the arrangement I like the A B A B C B idea and the C part is nice. IMHO you might want to rework the cadence of the chorus (B) to give it the lift the screener wanted, please consider (and this is just an example)Throw your problems into the wind, they'll spread their wings,Flying off into the dawn, your bluebird is gone.This is a new day and your bluebird is gone.If you couple that with a little more of an uptempo feel on the drums during the chorus you might get what you are looking for. Just an idea, good luck... Geo

Hi Geo,Thank you so much for taking the time to listen, and to give this kind of feedback. It's highly appreciated!I will try these suggestions

Hi UVery pretty song... OK, you've labeled it as A C B A B which confused me at first since a lot of people reserve "C" for a chorus. Your "C" is a section of some kind. (Don't worry about the semantics)... I think musically the song works best when you go from A to B without the C as in the 2nd half of the song. You have a very good ABAB song with a strong hook line at the end of each B section, "You're bluebird is gone". So my idea would be to combine the first A and C into an "A", merging the lyrical ideas. And/or you could write another "A" and have AABAB which is also nice as long as you get to your hook line in a reasonable amount of time.I don't think this is in the ambient/chill-out genre and therefore a fit for this listing. It's more A/C, soft pop, or maybe even retro soft R&B. It does feel retro (that's not necessarily a bad thing at all) but the vocal in a very high register may be influencing me more in that direction. You do have a very pretty song that has tremendous potential with the right arrangement and production.I'm not great at determining pitchiness in a vocal unless is very obvious. But look at it this way... If you get the song where it should be, along with a backing track, getting a vocalist to sing it for you shouldn't be that difficult.Nice song!Regards, Casey

Hi CaseyFirst off thanks for taking the time to listen, and for sharing your valuable input.I don't worry about semantics, I borrowed the ACBAB labeling from the screener...I guess this song is a living proof on that structure is one of the (many) things I have to work on.. It's a rather hasty collaboration, where I can't take credit for the melody and lyrics, so I'm gonna throw your suggestions at my collaborator to see what he can do with it. I'm also going to skip the song for this listing, as I've come to terms with that it needs some heavy rewriting.The song was put in a drawer, probably never to hit the surface again until I saw this listing and thought I might be able to make a few adjustments to make it fit (silly me). But I can see now that it's not possible in such a limited amount of time, and the song might not stray in that direction. I'm sure that there'll be other opportunities where it might prove to be a better fit.Thanks again Casey and Geo for your valuable input, - it's definitely a great wakeup call!