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Hey everybody. I've been a member since April but this is my first time on the forums. I thought I'd throw myself to the wolves and see what some of you think of my new song. Production wise, I can't match what a lot of you are doing, but it's decent. Let me know what you think, especially with regards to what sort of listing you would submit this to, if any at all, don't worry I can take it. So, it's "Memorize My Love" at http://www.taxi.com/dax Thanks

Memorize my love, like a line of poetryEvery cadence every word, every possibilityMemorize my love, like an old mysteryLeading you the clues will to my true identityI’ll admit I’ve thought about, which way would suit me bestQuickly with a gun, or slowly from the wristWould I ascend to heaven, or spiral down to hell?Which it would be for leaving you behindMemorize my loveMemorize my loveTo say I take for granted, would be to say the leastI do appreciate the things you do for meFor all the expectations, that I fail to meetAnd for the disappointment that comes so easilyMemorize my love, like a line of poetryEvery cadence every word, every possibilityMemorize my love, like an old mysteryLeading you the clues will to my true identityBy grace I might find., intelligent designA sentiment untouched by Occam’s bladeOr it could be in the end, that my Cro-Magnon friendsJoin me in a toast to DarwinWe’ll drink deep as we are sons of menMemorize my loveMemorize my love

Well, I like the lyrics! Just a coupla things.......the lyrics are good so that's a great basis. The production is okay. I'd maybe back up and take another run at phrasing......it's predictable. Try looking at the lyrics like you would if you were speaking them to someone. We don't pause at the end of every single line we say......we tend to roll our conversations in a natural way. So taking a breath at the end of every single line or in the same places over and over makes the song seem very blocky and mechanical. These lyrics should be positively alive and seething across the song. Also, I'd definitely start changing the melody line a little. It sounds like you're working hard at staying in a lower range. Perhaps you could vary the melody to add some contrast, upping it a bit?That's what I thought and it's only my opinion. You can chuck it out with the leftover coffee if you want. Like I said, the lyrics are where this whole thing happens, in my opinion. They just need a chance to be sung as intensely as they were written, is all.

Thanks for listening squidlips. I really appreciate and agree with your input. Recording a great, dynamic vocal for me has always been a battle. I've always liked my voice much better live.

Well......how come? It's almost the same thing, you're jes missing the chemical input from the audience and lots mo' air. I can see you doing it live, you've got that voice, but you can carry that into the studio, easy. I used to have the same problem, myself. It was really annoying and frustrating because I couldn't get a good recording mix live and when I went to record in a studio, my voice was dead in the water. Aargh.

How did you overcome it?

Well, in the end, it's all psychology . Singers get in their own way sometimes.You figure out what's lacking in the studio that isn't in a live venue. If it's the audience, you bring a couple people in to watch you record. That keeps you on your toes performance wise, brings up the edge and gives you something to "play" off of. If it's air (as in, you feel constricted in the studio and not playing live), learn better mic techniques and tell the engineer to get used to it (which they won't, they hate it when we control our own volume, etc). Then you can belt until the cows come home and not clip it. Of course, the engineer will tell you gleefully that you can't ever clip HIS equipment. But trust me, he's in denial. Every time I go to a new studio, they tell me the same thing. I promptly wait for the cue and clip it as fast as possible. It gets things out the way nicely. If you can figure out what is missing, you can fix it.

Quote:Well, in the end, it's all psychology . Singers get in their own way sometimes.or else...

dang right!

Hi ho Geo here tipsy posting to please consider that at the offset. IU meant outset. I like the song alot (I like when lyrics send me on google searches ), my first comment is the last verse. It seems to depart from the the,me of the song. The first couple of verses deal with a relationship while the last is more your POV type thing and more of a evolution comment. Mlnd you, I'm drawing on screeners comments on my songs for these insights, noithing I came up with opn my own and , remeber I've had a couple. One or two lines read a little awkward to me... "which it would be for leaving you behind" IMHO "which would it be..." is a little more natural. Again drawing on comments I've gotten (tyook me a little too long to figure out "not conversational" ) Now this is not a slam, I liked the words and music but just referencing things I've encountered. Welcome to thr party.... Geo