how's my dirge coming along?

[hummingbird]

Hi - I've been working on this steadily... and I know I still have to smooth out some of the instrumental lines... but I'd really appreciate some feedback to help tweak... ending could be betterRed Campionhttp://www.vikkiflawith.com/song/9thanks!! PS - warning... it could just be a mish mash

[squidlips]

Actually, I loved the ending. Celtic music......arrgh. It's harder than it sounds.Personally, I would've thrown in the bagpipes at the beginning instead of whatever that was (oboe?), the reedy sound. It was too thin, too cheesy there and the piano had such a lovely tone, too. I was thrown off a bit until around the 30-something second mark when it all seemed to come together. That might be part of the allure of it, though, that it seems to have disparate elements that unite around that time. The singing was lovely, the piano kept jarring me somehow (why is that? It's lovely too). Maybe the point/counterpoint or descant feel between the slow anthem and the piano just needs...more flow, more weave between them?This so doesn't help you, does it? It had lovely instruments in it. Somehow, the piano working with the long flowing phrases SHOULD work and yet it doesn't for me. The only time it really came together (again, for me) was at the end and I think this is mainly because I'm used to Americanized Celtic music (although I listen to lots of Welsh stuff). The pipes go a bit flat in one spot toward the end but I doubt that's a biggie. Was that a program or heaven help ye, lass, did ye nae tra ta play 'em yerse'f?I'm going to listen to it again. It was lovely, there's jes something......off-kilt ( )er about it.

[ljweber70]

I listened to the beginning: Very pretty and relaxing -- I picture 2 scenes: One, a peaceful walk down a long dirt drive, flanked by pecan trees on either side. Two, me on a massage table getting worked on, my face sinking further into the headrest with each minute You have a very angelic quality to your voice in this piece.I would add that the addition of the bagpipe / oboe (?) kind of lost it for me at the end, but maybe that is a requirement for a "dirge"Only one person's opinion,Larry

[squidlips]

Perhaps fiddles legatto at the beginning would work better? I see much betta how it's working now and I like it a lot, it's jes dicey at the beginning with the pauses in the reedy instrument that jar with the piano already doing staccato phrasing. It's not really a dirge, more like a love song ala Braveheart.I think it needs to be BIGGER. More!! It's lovely. You almost captured what I refer to as that "green mountain" feel.....you know, where the camera pans out over the huge green mountains or the moors at the end of the movie and everythin'gs resolved in some way or another (love gained that was lost, victory in the battle, etc) and this anthem pops up, really stirs the soul. It just needs a smoother beginning and then a bigger support in the anthem area.

[hummingbird]

Thanks Squid & Larry. I've been reworking this with your comments in mind. I still have to work on the "verse" but it's getting closer, I think. This is supposed be something that would be played at a funeral... hence the picture of the Highland moors and Red Campion growing amid the heather

[mixopenta]

Really nice piece, like it a lot. I agree with squidlips in that it would really benefit from being a lot bigger. And real bagpipes would definitely make it viable for an A-list feature film! To my taste, the piano could use some more sustain, even if it plays sort of "staccato-ish" parts. I think that would give it a bit more flow. Along with a more spacious overall sound scape, it would make the song kind of "roll" down the hills. And a smooth, but huge bassy drum on some selected downbeats could also give it some more depth.only my opinion to an already excellent track!

[amos]

Hummingbird,I don't think it should be bigger at all. It's an extremely soothing piece of music especially if this being performed at a funeral. The vocal harmonies are beautiful.I can see the problem with the bagpipes. The sample you have is alright but this piece could benefit from a better bagpipe sample.It's really good.

[hummingbird]

Thanks very much for the feedback, I appreciate it a lot. Sounds like I could go two ways with this, which is good, as you want a piece of music to have flexibility. I shall keep working on it!cheersHummin'birdPS - I had to do some research into the pipes in order to write music for them, which was interesting. THese are real bagpipes, played by a Pipe Major from the Manitoba police force. They were recorded in my little studio. For this piece, MacPherson felt the chanter would be a better fit than full pipes.

[amos]

Real bagpipes?! Whoops. Isn't it crazy there's so many instrument libraries that real instruments now fool me. Ugh. Technology.

[hummingbird]

I've uploaded my almost-final mix