Lyric questions
Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2018 8:28 am
Hey all... This is a ROUGH, not a production. The song will be produced from the ground up and sound more contemporary. And I thank you in advance for putting up with my singing!
As I'm trying to put the finishing touches on it, 2 lyric things are bothering me:
(1) Pre-chorus
>> We know where we’re gonna be tonight
>> And I will see you in the morning light
I really want something less cliché here, especially for the rhyme... tonight/morning light is up there on the cliché list.
(2) The first 2-3 lines of chorus are bugging me. They don't feel strong enough as far as the passion/desire thing. The 3rd line could change as well to go with a better lines 1-2. Hand holding doesn't feel very "burning" with desire.
>> The hands we hold
>> And the arms we cling to
>> Tell us just what we need
(Am I overanalyzing this one? If I didn't mention it, would you notice?)
Other comments welcome but please, not about production, vocal phrasing, etc. since they aren't relevant here. THANKS!
https://soundcloud.com/caseyh/the-fire- ... he/s-fshBS
(VERSE)
In the heat of desire
Angry words don’t matter anymore
When the passion burns
We forget about the day before
Deep down inside
We know where we’re gonna be tonight
And I will see you in the morning light
(CHORUS)
The hands we hold
And the arms we cling to
Tell us just what we need
When our two hearts are melting
If we open our eyes
We’ll see
The fire we breathe
The fire we breathe
(VERSE)
We make and break up
Say we’re never gonna do this again
But then gravity pulls
On two bodies that have no control
Over where they go
I know where we’re gonna be tonight
And I will see you in the morning light
(CHORUS)
(BRIDGE)
Sometimes life will take every ounce of energy
Till we think there’s nothing left inside of us at all
But there’s always another time for you and me
When the fire calls us back again for more and more
And more and more
(Instrumental)
(CHORUS)
As I'm trying to put the finishing touches on it, 2 lyric things are bothering me:
(1) Pre-chorus
>> We know where we’re gonna be tonight
>> And I will see you in the morning light
I really want something less cliché here, especially for the rhyme... tonight/morning light is up there on the cliché list.
(2) The first 2-3 lines of chorus are bugging me. They don't feel strong enough as far as the passion/desire thing. The 3rd line could change as well to go with a better lines 1-2. Hand holding doesn't feel very "burning" with desire.
>> The hands we hold
>> And the arms we cling to
>> Tell us just what we need
(Am I overanalyzing this one? If I didn't mention it, would you notice?)
Other comments welcome but please, not about production, vocal phrasing, etc. since they aren't relevant here. THANKS!
https://soundcloud.com/caseyh/the-fire- ... he/s-fshBS
(VERSE)
In the heat of desire
Angry words don’t matter anymore
When the passion burns
We forget about the day before
Deep down inside
We know where we’re gonna be tonight
And I will see you in the morning light
(CHORUS)
The hands we hold
And the arms we cling to
Tell us just what we need
When our two hearts are melting
If we open our eyes
We’ll see
The fire we breathe
The fire we breathe
(VERSE)
We make and break up
Say we’re never gonna do this again
But then gravity pulls
On two bodies that have no control
Over where they go
I know where we’re gonna be tonight
And I will see you in the morning light
(CHORUS)
(BRIDGE)
Sometimes life will take every ounce of energy
Till we think there’s nothing left inside of us at all
But there’s always another time for you and me
When the fire calls us back again for more and more
And more and more
(Instrumental)
(CHORUS)