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She Doesn't Believe in Gravity
Posted: Sun Sep 05, 2021 2:08 pm
by DouglasKnight
Hey guys -- This isn't for a specific listing, but I'm hoping to make this song sound more contemporary and looking for constructive feedback:
https://soundcloud.com/thecontraires/sh ... in-gravity
Thank you,
DK
Re: She Doesn't Believe in Gravity
Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2021 5:42 am
by cosmicdolphin
Hi Douglas
It has a somewhat throwback vibe from the get go.
The lead synth sound is probably the main offender, also the drums sound very much like a drum machine, with a robotic pattern & the exact same programmed HH all the way through etc. The vocal style & delivery also give off a late 80s to early 90s type feel.
I think the lyrics work for sync and the performances are fine but It sounds more like a song that was written/recorded back in the day than something current ? The type of melodic patterns used, the guitar FX etc all add to this feeling.
@ 1.07 I was expecting the chorus to lift off but it doesn't - there's no change in vocal register or note pattern, nothing to give it the sectional contrast to say " this is the chorus "
I'm not sure whether it would be worth reworking to sound more contemporary because the bones of it are still that 80's - 90s vibe. Sure, you could change the drums , update all the keys , sing it in a more contemporary way and write a better chorus but it's probably as much work as writing something new with more contemporary references.
Mark
Re: She Doesn't Believe in Gravity
Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2021 9:21 am
by feaker66
Hi DK Liked your smile and your voice. Just a few thoughts. There are places in the track kinda dead where the vox is sparse. five minutes is a bit long. I have never seen a waveform so flat on top. ha ha I did hear the vox come through very well tho. The song title is a little strange. I am not a mixologist, listen to the pros who visit here to help polish this track. good luck
Paul
Re: She Doesn't Believe in Gravity
Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2021 12:30 pm
by DouglasKnight
cosmicdolphin wrote: ↑Mon Sep 06, 2021 5:42 am
Hi Douglas
It has a somewhat throwback vibe from the get go.
The lead synth sound is probably the main offender, also the drums sound very much like a drum machine, with a robotic pattern & the exact same programmed HH all the way through etc. The vocal style & delivery also give off a late 80s to early 90s type feel.
I think the lyrics work for sync and the performances are fine but It sounds more like a song that was written/recorded back in the day than something current ? The type of melodic patterns used, the guitar FX etc all add to this feeling.
@ 1.07 I was expecting the chorus to lift off but it doesn't - there's no change in vocal register or note pattern, nothing to give it the sectional contrast to say " this is the chorus "
I'm not sure whether it would be worth reworking to sound more contemporary because the bones of it are still that 80's - 90s vibe. Sure, you could change the drums , update all the keys , sing it in a more contemporary way and write a better chorus but it's probably as much work as writing something new with more contemporary references.
Mark
Thanks very much for the detailed feedback, Mark, I appreciate it. I may try to re-work it, but you're right, it will take a lot, so we'll see....
Cheers,
DK
Re: She Doesn't Believe in Gravity
Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2021 12:32 pm
by DouglasKnight
feaker66 wrote: ↑Mon Sep 06, 2021 9:21 am
Hi DK Liked your smile and your voice. Just a few thoughts. There are places in the track kinda dead where the vox is sparse. five minutes is a bit long. I have never seen a waveform so flat on top. ha ha I did hear the vox come through very well tho. The song title is a little strange. I am not a mixologist, listen to the pros who visit here to help polish this track. good luck
Paul
Hey Paul, thanks for listening and for your comments! I am considering a complete re-working of the song, and if so will work to avoid those 'dead' zones. All the best,
DK