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This is a reworking of a song that we got feedback on recently. Among other changes, there are now substantial pauses in the vocal phrasing. We've been advised that this is probably a negative for sync. Do you agree?

Other comments welcome, of course!

"For Myself Alone"

===
Sharon & Michael

I'm only been tangentially following the evolution of this tune, so forgive me if I ask questions that have been already answered

What genre and description would you give this version of the track? Not shoegaze or any kind of indie rock IMHO. I get a bit of a Harry Chapin vibe, am I close?
Have you considered using a singer from fiverr (or other service) to lay down a track? Andre's guitar is, of course, absolutely smooth and beautiful. Match that with the vocal performance, and I think it will gel quite well.
Where did you hear that vocal pauses were discouraged? I don't think any of the breaks in your tune are long enough to be worrisome, but that's just me.
I'm no lyric expert, but I'd offer that with the right emotive vocal realization the flow and pacing of the song could work well.

Bravo, and good luck!
- Alan

Hey Micheal
Yea, you need to hire a vocalist. As is, it's hard to listen to. I'm a horrible singer myself so I empathize. The mix itself needs work too. There's nothing specific about vocal pauses that makes them bad for sync but right now I think that's the least of the things you need to think about.

Also, not sure if it was intentional but at times your vocal moves to the left channel only for awhile.

Best,
Casey

AlanHall wrote: ↑

Tue May 16, 2023 4:28 pm

What genre and description would you give this version of the track? Not shoegaze or any kind of indie rock IMHO. I get a bit of a Harry Chapin vibe, am I close?

Honestly, we didn't have any genre in mind, just a calm mood.

AlanHall wrote: ↑

Tue May 16, 2023 4:28 pm

Have you considered using a singer from fiverr (or other service) to lay down a track? Andre's guitar is, of course, absolutely smooth and beautiful. Match that with the vocal performance, and I think it will gel quite well.

Thanks, Alan. We'll look into that.

AlanHall wrote: ↑

Tue May 16, 2023 4:28 pm

I don't think any of the breaks in your tune are long enough to be worrisome, but that's just me.

Thanks for your sense of it, Alan. That's what we're looking for.

AlanHall wrote: ↑

Tue May 16, 2023 4:28 pm

I'm no lyric expert, but I'd offer that with the right emotive vocal realization the flow and pacing of the song could work well.
Bravo, and good luck!
- Alan

Thanks again!

Casey H wrote: ↑

Tue May 16, 2023 5:02 pm

Yea, you need to hire a vocalist. As is, it's hard to listen to. I'm a horrible singer myself so I empathize.

Appreciate your honesty.

Casey H wrote: ↑

Tue May 16, 2023 5:02 pm

The mix itself needs work too.

Any specifics will be appreciated.

Casey H wrote: ↑

Tue May 16, 2023 5:02 pm

There's nothing specific about vocal pauses that makes them bad for sync but right now I think that's the least of the things you need to think about.

Thanks, Casey.

Casey H wrote: ↑

Tue May 16, 2023 5:02 pm

Also, not sure if it was intentional but at times your vocal moves to the left channel only for awhile.

Actually, that happened accidentally, but we kind of liked it and are considering doing it more. Is that a terrible idea?
Thanks again!

===
Sharon & Michael

irthlingz wrote: ↑

Tue May 16, 2023 7:21 pm

Casey H wrote: ↑

Tue May 16, 2023 5:02 pm

The mix itself needs work too.

Any specifics will be appreciated.

Not my area of expertise but I generally can tell very good from not very good. So I can't give you specifics, I'm sure others can.

Casey H wrote: ↑

Tue May 16, 2023 5:02 pm

Also, not sure if it was intentional but at times your vocal moves to the left channel only for awhile.

irthlingz wrote: ↑

Tue May 16, 2023 7:21 pm

Actually, that happened accidentally, but we kind of liked it and are considering doing it more. Is that a terrible idea?

Yes IMHO.

Casey

pauses are not an issue. definitely need to hire vocalist. guitar is nice. try doubling guitar with light compression, add bass, add a bit more reverb. Keep the vocal centered.
keep working at it, the song is worth the effort.

music doesn't have pauses except as marked "G.P." for grand pause of all instruments (similar to, but not the same as, a fermata). you mean rest. the vocal melody has long rests in the phrasing. the phrasing is ok. the rhythmic movement of the vocal line is the problem.
you have correctly placed "i'm" on the anacrusis.
the next word is correctly on the downbeat ("lookin" ? ) but it should have a duration of whole note not quarter note.
with the other words following after that; which eliminates the subsequent long rest.

even if you disagree with that analysis, consider the word-painting aspect of the melody, thus the melody should have a whole note on "lookin"; because you want to draw-out that emotional impact to match the meaning of the word "looking".

as for the remainder, I had to click away, the vocal is unlistenable so I could only take a few seconds of it (and also much too hot in the mix). overall that may sound harsh but i'm not a sugar coater when straightforward feedback is asked for. my own most recent original quickie demo song got trashed due to the vocal quality of my own vocals when the track was auditioned by two top seasoned songwriters for disney, which also informs my use of my own vocals, similar to how this result should inform your vocal work on your own track here.

Thank you Casey, Dandillinger and superblonde. No way to progress without honest feedback.

It wasn't as bad as I expected from the other comments. Andre is a great guitarist so that helps.

The vocal has issues but also a certain charm, some things you do quite well but there are intonation issues all through and it's not a sync friendly voice , it's too loud in the mix and you need to EQ the guitars..make a little hole to get it to "sit" ( or cheat and use something like Trackspacer which does it for you )

At some point as mention the vocal is coming out the LH speaker ???? Not sure if intentional ...bold artistc choice or mixing mistake ? Either way I wouldn't do it.

It might sound quite nice with the right singer, I have no issue with the vocal phrasing in itself although a more skilled singer may phrase it better,