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Hows this, it is called SNOWY NIGHT on my soundcloud http://www.soundcloud.com/777rd
Ron S

ronnie35 wrote: ↑

Sat Nov 18, 2023 10:07 pm

Hows this, it is called SNOWY NIGHT on my soundcloud http://www.soundcloud.com/777rd
Ron S

First-impression reaction: try it at 140 bpm... after the bell 'Intro'
it feels a bit sluggish to these old-guy ears.
HTH.

thank will do

Hi Ron,
I think you are off to a good start...
Here are my thoughts.. You could probably break this up into a bunch of cues...

There is a lot of disjointed phrases, I'd suggest simplifying it, going with one or two main instruments, and developing the themes, I really liked the guitar at :34 seconds, but then it stopped.
The descending chimes are way too long... usually, they are a more accent instrument and shorter in duration. the breaks should be shortened, edit points are good not that long. Also, all the Christmas effects I'd suggest bringing them into the background and not so upfront, the listener will get the idea it's a Christmas song.
Third listen: you have some nice themes, develop them and smooth things out, you don't need to throw every imaginable effect in.

Good luck with it!
PS. Your other tunes on SC are really nice!
Bob

Off topic your website is not connected, it just goes to WIX.COM error page.

Hey BOB thanks for the feedback will do that .I do not have a website any more sorry for the inconvienced
Ron

ronnie35 wrote: ↑

Thu Nov 23, 2023 5:01 pm

Hey BOB thanks for the feedback will do that .I do not have a website any more sorry for the inconvenienced
Ron

Hi, Ronnie.
I hope you will post any re-mix version you create - 'would like to hear it.
For what it's worth - maybe consider removing the 'dead' website link from your signature;
and/or replace it with a platform where the music you want to share can be heard.

Hope that helps; Cheers,
Peter

Hey Ronnie,

There are some good elements in there, and some interesting melodies starting, but then it seems to drop off in each section. It starts to build momentum, and then stops. Starts again, and stops. Where those chimes come in, it pulls you out of the melody and time of the track. You can leverage the chimes, but I would overlap them with the music to pull you between sections; not a distinct chime break in of itself. I would also suggest using some percussion to add in the needed rhythmic elements too.

To summarize, I would focus on the arrangement. Edit, chop and edit again. Also, watch those bass notes, as I'm not sure they were in time to the track in a few spots.

Some good elements though!
Brad

Thanks Brad, will do
Ron