TAXI.com

Thank you to all who listened. I have taken some steps
to make some improvements and would appreciate any
feedback at all. The link is here:
look for All the love i can get (new)
http://www.americansongspace.com/AMLYRICS/

As requested here are the lyrics:

All the Love I Can Get
Music and lyrics ©Andy Mackay

Like blood in the water, after the sharks have gone
you find me damage done
Your devil eyes, spy my angels cryin’
you know I need someone

but i keep my temptations under control
Deprivation, it feeds my soul

So If you take me home with you
one thing is guaranteed
I will complicate your life
cause tonight I need
Your truth, your tears, your breath
and All the love I can get

If you ride the train, down the wrong track
you know how hard it might crash
Are you willing to drive, can you survive
revealing yourself so fast

the destination is out of our hands
nights like tonight, they don't come with plans

So if you take me home with you
One thing is guaranteed
I will complicate your life
cause tonight Im gonna need
Yes tonight I need
All the love I can get

Take your book of doubts, rip the pages out
what ever it is we are afraid to show
you and me - we're gonna let it go
I'm fallin fast, be my net
Tonight I need all the love i can get

the destination is out of our hands
nights like tonight, they don't come with plans

So if you take me home with you
One thing is guaranteed
I will complicate your life
cause tonight I need
Your truth, your tears, your breath
and All the love I can get
(repeat these last two lines)

Im new here and browsing the forum and chirping in with what grabs me / if thats cool!?.
I never heard the first version but read the posts and jumped in here.

It looks like the comments made about carving out eq and making the vocals more prominant working great here ? Is that what the new version was taken too ?
Nothing I could say about this song production wise (from my listener only experience/perspective) seems top notch!
Enjoy wise, love the vocal, singing is soft and sweet!

Hi nylyrics

Both mixes are gorgeous. The imagery you use to set-up the story, from line one on, is very nice and your melodic choices are lovely.

I guess the only piece of constructive criticism I can offer is possibly revisiting the new melody you introduced in the most recent mix at the end of each chorus.
Don't get me wrong, I think it is beautiful. However, in doing so, you have introduced a mixture of melodies for your tag line, "and All the love I can get", which is probably
not generally preferable if you want your title line lyric and melody remembered after the song is over. In fact, in the new mix, you now have 3 different melodies for that line:
the one at the end of chorus1, end of chorus2, and the one at the end of the bridge (before the interlude). You then re-use the one melody from end of chorus1 and end of bridge to close the song.

In your first mix, you kept a very consistent melody of the tag/title line for chorus1, at the end of the bridge and the end of the song. The only different line is the rise from chorus2 to the bridge, which the listener would expect.

Having said all of this, it may not matter if you change your title to something like "If you take me home with you", which not only leads each chorus, it is a very memorable melody, it's the same melody each time and, most of all, I believe it is a more interesting and relevent title. If you take me home with you, I will complicate your life. Those are the most powerful lines of your song and I believe consitute the best hook option.

I think you have a very strong song on your hands and it is rare that I listen to any song more than twice. In your case, I listened to it (before I even started my feedback rant) about 6 times. This is a definite winner. Run with it.

Enjoy your weekend
Todd

Didn't hear the first version, so I can't make any comparisons.

GREAT vocals. I wish the channel had more to distinguish it from the rest of the verse, but I really like the melodic structure of the chorus. I actually think it detracts from the chorus to have it sung differently so many times, though. And I'm only guessing here, but it seemed a little long for a commercial/pop pitch. (there was no time stamp anywhere, but 3-3.5 minutes is a pretty standard guideline...) I'd love to hear this with a more traditional country spin on it.

Still, overall, nice work.

that'll be $.02, please.

Ted

Really, really sweet to me. "all the love i can get" as a hook! why didn't I come up with that? I think the singer needs to be more up front, and she was great. This is a beautiful song, congratulations.
Ott

Hey, nylyrics

This is a gorgeous song. I had already submitted a post, but it just disappeared. Maybe the site timed-out or something and the post was lost. Anyway, I will keep it shorter, as I don't feel like typing the entire epic-length reply again.

In short, the song is great. Loved it and played it to death. The only piece of constructive criticism I have is that the tag-line (All the love I can get) has 3 different melodies, where in the original mix it had just two. I understand why the one just prior to the bridge rises, but I am not sure you want to have a different melody for the tag line on chorus 1 and then at the end of the bridge. Since it is the tag line, you will want to keep it melodically the same so that it can be easily remembered once the song is over. You did this successfully in the first mix.

Of course, this issue goes away if you elect to have "If you take me home with you" as the new title, which I believe might be a better choice. The reason being is that it is the first line of the chorus, has the same melody each time, and is closely associated with what I believe to be the strongest line of the song, "I will complicate your life".

By the way, the vocalist was a perfect choice for the song. Yes, it might be a bit long. Maybe think about removing the musical interlude for starters.

Good luck with it.
Todd