TAXI.com

Hey guys!

My name is Brandon and I am newer to the forums. I will be joining TAXI here shortly, just waiting for some dough to roll in

If any of you guys have time, I was wondering if you would be able to check out my tune (my wife and I's actually) "Will You Be My Man?"
You can access it through http://www.myspace.com/brandonmatiassongwriter

I would appreciate all of your comments, suggestions. Please be honest, thats what I need

Brandon

Hi Brandon. The song has a nice upbeat vibe - like a sort of teenage Shania Twain. Very catchy melody! The female voice is spot on for the style. There are a lot of lyrical cliches in there - which could be a good or bad thing. Most of the hits popping up these days have a bit of a twist on the old ideas, but this could certainly work for a young clean-cut pop/country singer. Lots of potential here. Good luck. Cheers, Doug

Doug,

Thank you so much for the feedback! The way I view it, you can always improve and get better I appreciate you taking the time. Anyone else, please comment and let me know how I can get better!

Thanks everyone!

Hi Brandon,

Welcome to the forums!

Very nice tune! It's catchy, the recording is nice and you have a very sweet vocal on. Sound a little more rock'n roll to me than country, but not that far off.

On the crit side of things, I don't think it's lyrically quite in the pocket for country, at this point. There are a couple things, 'irresistable' didn't seem to meter well where you had it, and the sweet innocent vocals and the teen lyric together with 'man', wasn't really good prosody IMO, maybe 'guy' would match the elements better?

One thing is for sure, dough is always rolling, so if you want it, better get in the way of it

It's fun, it's quirky, I liked it. Just be forewarned the bar is really high on Country listings. The screeners might like it, they might not. I haven't quite figured out how they decide what's great and what isn't. best of luck, personally I liked it.

If you can post the lyrics that helps a lot too.

your production is good.. The singer, (i presume it's your wife?) has nice tone but she sounds unsure in her delivery.. she is singing words and notes.. she's not singing the song. I feel like the vocal is bit too upfront in the mix, or maybe it needs a little treatment some verb or some slap to help it congeal with the track. the hook could really benefit from some harmony vocal. your guitar tones are rockin.. maybe to rockin... i dunno, just a thought. also i will echo the previous thought on the lyric... its a good idea but could always be more clever and the pentameter seems off to me a bit, stretching some syllables, jamming some together..

overall i think its pretty good just some tweaks and you'll have yerself a bonafide hit!

btw... what drum program are you using?

H

Magne and Glender,

Thank you so much for taking time to listen and critique! I have been playing guitar for a long time now and just recently starting to get into this songwriting thing. So I appreciate all of your great advice! I hear you just have to keep writing to get better, so that's what I will do

Thanks again!

Brandon

P.S. Magne, I come from rock n roll influences, so that might pop in every song I write lol

Hey harry,

Thank you for all of your thoughts. I honestly agree with you on all of your points. I love this forum, feel like its helping me improve.

The drum program I use is Steven Slate Drums, the BEST samples out there by far. It's an incredible program and I recommend it highly.

Hey Brandon,

The music's very catchy. Can you post the lyrics?

Cam

Vocal sounds muffled; I want to hear more top end on the voice, and think you may need to change the mic, the room, the recording method/distance or the EQ, or some combination thereof. (I'd start by backing the singer away from the mic by foot or a half) It sounds very band-limited and midrangey, on my monitors. Performance-wise, the singer doesn't seem very present, either; maybe too many takes? I think the song is pretty solid, though it doesn't offer a lot that's new or unique; could be a single, if a really great artist knocked it out of the park, vocally. I wouldn't worry about being too rock'n'roll for today's country radio; apparently, there's no such animal. A fine effort.