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Ears & Thoughts Needed

Posted: Tue Nov 16, 2010 2:03 pm
by smoothaxe
Need some ears on a re-worked song called "Going Home Sweet Home"; http://www.taxi.com/travisvega

The original composition was just guitar, then upon further analysis I decided to
add in the piano, drums and light fretless bass.

Please, any thoughts of any kind. Thank you in advance!!!

Re: Ears & Thoughts Needed

Posted: Tue Nov 16, 2010 2:24 pm
by davewalton
smoothaxe wrote:Need some ears on a re-worked song called "Going Home Sweet Home"; http://www.taxi.com/travisvega

The original composition was just guitar, then upon further analysis I decided to
add in the piano, drums and light fretless bass.

Please, any thoughts of any kind. Thank you in advance!!!
Hi Travis,

The sound is just fine and the emotions are very easy to identify... calm, dreamy, feel good, friendly, heartwarming, light hearted, etc. I think that the composition needs variety... a "chorus" or something similar to break up the repeating chord pattern, some kind of bridge towards the end too perhaps. Keeping the same feel of course but something to break the pattern and lift the song a bit. Can't be too much... don't want to take away from that nice feel but I feel that if you added more sections that it would be a very good track for any library.

Hope that helps,

Dave

Re: Ears & Thoughts Needed

Posted: Tue Nov 16, 2010 2:39 pm
by smoothaxe
Hey Dave thanks for listening and for the advice. That makes great sense, I now hear that
adding a complimentary chorus would fit nicely, which could lead to the end of the song
as being a bridge.

I will give it a good go! Thanks again Dave!

Re: Ears & Thoughts Needed

Posted: Tue Nov 16, 2010 5:33 pm
by nick.moxsom
Hi there, I'm the new boy. This is a very pretty sounding track. Not sure it needs a chorus so much, but it does need to develop in some way. Maybe it's just the piano gently taking over the lead while the guitar goes to chords. Nice tinkling keys running up and down would add fresh interest. Really like it.

Re: Ears & Thoughts Needed

Posted: Tue Nov 16, 2010 8:53 pm
by ottlukk
It's really quite sweet, ut needs some sort of variation, I found myself drifting off . . .
Ott

Re: Ears & Thoughts Needed

Posted: Wed Nov 17, 2010 7:39 am
by bwd
Hi Travis. Lovely gentle tune. Nice picking. I think you could use the drum track to breathe more life into it. I ca hear a rolling drum pattern kicking in around 0.48 - maybe a brush groove with a light shaker on the 16s. You could also re-harmonize the basic 4-bar figure with some new chords - maybe have the bass climbing up? You also need to give it a tighter ending. Cheers, Doug

Re: Ears & Thoughts Needed

Posted: Wed Nov 17, 2010 10:23 am
by smoothaxe
Hi Nick, I found myself doing that exact same thing. Adding more piano while the guitar
continued to do its thing, the concept of chordal strumming would complement that. Thanks!

ottlukk, would adding a different type of chordal rhythm help to add a simple variation? From
this exchange the piano part would enhance as well.

bwd, I think I should turn up the drum tracks, I have brush swirl, brush hits and a round kick,
I do think, now that you mentioned it a shaker would sound cool. Adding the chords would
bring this track around.

I was tweaking with it last night and man I needed to take a break. Everyone's advice has helped
so much. I will take what I have learned and apply. Thanks again everyone!!!

Re: Ears & Thoughts Needed

Posted: Wed Nov 17, 2010 7:44 pm
by ottlukk
Smooth:
I don't generally reply to a post unless I like what I hear. In your case, I liked the body of the piece, but wanted more variation. There are people on this board who are way more qualified than me to tell you what might be changed . . . I have difficulty pointing out the nuamces, so to speak.
Ott

Re: Ears & Thoughts Needed

Posted: Wed Nov 17, 2010 9:29 pm
by smoothaxe
Hey Ottlukk, I was working on your advice of adding variation and so far so good. I think that breaking it down to rhythm changes really opened up the song. Thanks again for the input.

Re: Ears & Thoughts Needed

Posted: Wed Nov 17, 2010 11:21 pm
by howlindog
Hi Travis,

Nice tune. In a way it kind of reminded me of Chick Corea's "Children's Song #1" in it's simpicity and feel. I, too, think it could use a B section of some kind. If you get a chance, go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQQ5bN_1I30 and listen to the C section which has a simple but interesting 3 against 4 feel that adds quite a bit to the simple melody of the A section. (Note that the A, B and C sections are all over the same arpeggiated chords.) It may give you some ideas. You wrote a really nice piece though. I can already hear it on the Hallmark channel.

Don