Criticism needed for this song of mine.

[Kelil]

Hi guys. I am in the middle of doing a new version of a song on my taxi page called ''She Blew Me Away.'' It is not mixed or mastered yet and backing vocals have yet to go down on it. My idea was to create something distinctive, contemporary, vintage but very current and out of the box a la The beatles, Kinks, Devendra banhart, fleet foxes etc etc. These are the type of listings I'm going for with it. What I want is your thoughts upon the track in terms of submitting to these listings and whether or not it would suit other listings as well? and... do you even like the song itself at all? Have I even hit the distinctive area at all of the artists I referenced?

Again the track is ''She Blew Me Away'' www.taxi.com/stephenmcelligott

Cheers guys, I'm looking forward to hearing back from you.
K

[slowdance]

K,

Has an early "Kinks" flavor to it.......folksy guitar tone.....not really "beatlesgue" to me........bringing the vox up may help getting a better picture on the ala's you referenced..............
Regards,
Dick

[ernstinen]

bringing the vox up may help getting a better picture on the ala's you referenced..............
Regards,
Dick

Dick, you're being kind! Man, this is a great song as far as I can tell, but I can barely HEAR the vocal! I thought my headphones went to mono and the vocal was out of phase, but on a second set of phones it was the same.

K., be PROUD of your voice! It's great. Turn it Waaaay up! I hear (I think) a Dylan influence. During your next mix, listen to Dylan's early stuff and compare. If you can't understand the lyrics, turn up the vocal until you can!

Sorry to be so critical, but you have immense talent... Show it off... Don't be so shy!

All my best,

Ern

[tordenspyd]

Well, bringing the vocals way back can be a very cool device to use for the right occasion.
I did not feel this as the right occasion, but that's just me. It is subjective.

I have heard this particular song of yours in a full production, well mixed and well played b4, and with your vocal mixed 'normal'.
And in my mind you do have a very good voice for popular music - also very subjective
So I don't know if I understand the question, I take it to mean that you want to try to dress up this song in new clothes so that it can fit into a category that is highly marketable? A good song can be dressed up in very many different ways, or at least that's how it used to be. But, for a large portion of the audience it is the dressing that IS the song.

On this song, it seems to me you are singing the song very similarly to the full production (maybe it is even the same take?)
The backing is different, but in my mind the feeling of the backing is the same, it's just trimmed down on instrumentation.
That is a crucial thing, - subjectively - about 'a la dress-ups'. Pay more attention to that (rhythmic feeling ) and see if it works.

But really, It may also be that is just as fruitful to write a new song. The full production version you have of She blew me away is very good. I like your fresh voice on it.

If not obvious, I dont really know what I talk about.

[Kelil]

Hi guys. Dont worry about the vocal. It is turned down for a reason....so you can hear the arrangment lol.

It's definitely the same take vocally as the last full production. I hope it works sincerely. I like this version more, its more current sounding than the outdated version which works too in its own respective genre. I had to save this song because of a wfh disagreement with 2 musicians on it, so this is my attempt to clean it up and give it something new.

Definitely happy that there is more kinks in it than beatles, although when the backing vocals come up that beatleesque might come in there. I will come back next week with the final mix and vocals/mastering

K

[Kelil]

Right guys here is the finished version and fully mastered www.taxi.com/stephenmcelligott

It's got the backing vocals on it included. Tell me what you honestly think of the track.

I tried going for the fleet fox vintage sound all the while keeping it updated and current

Stephen

[Kolstad]

I think it sounds great! However, the first bar made me think something was wrong. Maybe some of the instruments doesn't start playing in sync? Also the lead guitar in the first half of the song sounded like it was not quite in sync. I understand it's supposed to be retro sounding, but I'm not sure that can explain it. Other than that, the song sounds well produced, methinks.

[Kelil]

I think it sounds great! However, the first bar made me think something was wrong. Maybe some of the instruments doesn't start playing in sync? Also the lead guitar in the first half of the song sounded like it was not quite in sync. I understand it's supposed to be retro sounding, but I'm not sure that can explain it. Other than that, the song sounds well produced, methinks.

Hi Songcabinet thanks for the feedback. I did it through studiopros. And everything is basically done on the click 180bpm but I failed to hear what you hear because I dont have that ear for engineering/production if you know what I mean?

What I didnt like about it was the follow up harmonies in the verses. I thought they made it sound.....cheesy? so I've asked for another mix with just the harmonies in the chorus as opposed to verse 1 and 2.

Did you think I've hit the retro sound on the head with this one? a la fleet foxes or listings that would request the likes of 60's dylan/beatles type stuff? I hope so *biting nails* lol

I'm glad you liked it

Stephen

Anyone else wish to hit me with their critic stick? Dont be afraid to hit me hard with it lol. *hiding behind the couch*

[2lane]

Hey Stephen,
I dig the tune. I think what Magne hears, and me to, is it sounds like a "cut in" at the intro. Like they maybe cut too close from
a lead in click or something? It's not as bad on second listen though.
It does sound a little retro, and the demo is good.
What I get a kick out of most is your accent, I like it. The thing that bothers me though is the
"beautiful sound" line sticks in my head better than "she blew me away" title line. Maybe if you
went up a step vocally on the hook line?
Really nice melody to the song for sure
Cheers
Steve

[Kelil]

Hey Stephen,
I dig the tune. I think what Magne hears, and me to, is it sounds like a "cut in" at the intro. Like they maybe cut too close from
a lead in click or something? It's not as bad on second listen though.
It does sound a little retro, and the demo is good.
What I get a kick out of most is your accent, I like it. The thing that bothers me though is the
"beautiful sound" line sticks in my head better than "she blew me away" title line. Maybe if you
went up a step vocally on the hook line?
Really nice melody to the song for sure
Cheers
Steve

Thanks 2lane. yeah I hear what your saying about beatiful sound. I think its how I phrase it. I perhaps punch it out more than I do the actual lyrical hook of the song is this what you mean? and thus it engages the listener more?

Do you think it sounds like a finished/polished product as it sits? broadcast quality and all that for film/tv? I see what you mean about the cut in. they sent me back a mp3 and wav file version. But it's the mp3 version I figured out is the one with the slight cut in I think, but It's so miniscule I dont really notice it too much. I've submitted it for a custom.

Whats your take on the harmonies? is there too much going on do you think? a lot of people back home here in my family dont like the follow up harmonies in the verse but like the rest of it.

Stephen